Watercolors

I get to brag just a little, alright? I like to paint, but get to do so rarely. I just wanted to post a couple of watercolors that I did a while back. I know they are not perfect, but with no formal training, I feel like I did a nice job.

Gwennie was painting with me, that is why she has a green glob on her forehead. I love the way Rhayn's eyes came out. Those are her eyes, so pretty. Gwen's eyes are not so rich, the blue of her eyes is more gray. Both of these are from pictures taken Rhayn's first day of 1st grade. Will calls that picture of Gwennie, the Orchid.

Tea Party

To celebrate Rhayn's birthday this year, we threw a tea party for the girls in her class. It worked out perfectly, in my mind. Especially considering I have never thrown a party before. I mean, we have had "get togethers" but not a party like this. I made peanut butter and jelly rolls, cucumber sandwiches, and heart shaped turkey sandwiches. I borrowed a melon baller and we had watermelon. For dessert I purchased phillo cups and filled them with fruit and also made mini cup cakes, using my mini muffin tin and some teeny tiny cupcake papers. I hurried picking up, vacuuming, dusting, wiping things down, and making sure that everything looked presentable. At about 12:45, I locked Lily in her crate, in my bathroom and finished setting out a few final details. I was completely ready at one, when the guests were set to arrive.

The girls were dressed up, and even allowed me to curl their hair. Gwen sat perfectly still, so that her hair could be "so pwettee" like sister's.

Seven of Rhayn's class mates showed up. It was rather chaotic for about twenty minutes, while they ran through the house. Rhayn had to show them her room. After that the girls sat at the table, and had food and sipped cups (maybe not so daintily) of chamomile and berry zinger tea. There was also water, in case they needed it.

As they finished eating, the girls ran around some more. Playing games including (apparently the best thing in the world to do while dressed up) sliding face first on their bellies down the stairs. This lasted about five minutes and by now it was nearly two. A few of the moms helped by washing the plates while I got the cupcakes and tarts out. We sat the girls back down and passed out dessert.

Following dessert was Rhayn's favorite part of the day- opening presents. She received quite a lot of nice things, including a Schleich unicorn that she has longed for probably for a year or so at Target.

I had a craft for the kids to make, in case they were in need of direction, but time ran out. However the girls still wanted to make them, and so I quickly cut up fabric, tulle, and lace to send them each a kit home. This was ideal to me, because they each get to make them at home and no glue was spilled on my carpet!

Now that the guests have gone, and I am sitting here, I feel totally exhausted! I also managed to not end up with a huge mess afterwards. Since I sent home the tea cups with the girls as party favors, there are relatively few dishes to do.

*Check back, I have a really cute picture of Rhayn drinking from her cup that blogger will not let me upload.

Even though Gwen woke me up with her "stuck nose" we had a play date. It was outside, and we don't let the girls share drinks. Food? Well that is nearly impossible to keep kids ages 2 to 4 from sharing. It was nice to see her, we used to have play dates every so often, and then her life fell to pieces, and she had to get a j-o-b. Gasp. But stability has entered her life again. She has a regular schedule and can meet up for gabfests. Which, you can imagine, I need.

It was a nice day for a morning play date at the park. The high today was supposed to be 83, so at nine the air still had a little chill to it, but so perfect. I took my mp3 player out, and pushed Gwen on the swings for a while before she arrived. It was blissful, peaceful, perfect.

After we parted ways, I headed over to Costplus, someone had said they sell nice ceramic teapots. I needed a few for Rhayn's party next week. I picked up three. I know, I know, but they are so perfectly sweet. I needed two, but I couldn't decide between the three. One is brown, on the receipt it was labeled the "Brown Betty." Another is covered in the sweetest brown and light blue flowers. The last was the most perfect of all, it is an elephant, its trunk is the spout. Rhayn says she likes that one the best. Me, too. I have a silly cow cream holder (you pour the cream from the cow's mouth) that I picked up a few months ago for a dollar at Target (gotta love clearance!) I think I have pretty much everything I need for a sweet little tea party. Am I getting in over my head? I am alright at this moment, but as the party gets closet will I start to panic?

I wanted to invite our family, but I figure for the tea party part- we will just deal with her classmates. I sent out invitations (in the mail!) yesterday. I addressed the envelopes to the girls, because I know how kids love to get mail. I just hope that a few of them will be able to come. I guess I fear that, but it is a silly fear, isn't it? A few of them will come. I can stop being paranoid about it. I made sure the school didn't have anything going on that day (there is a meeting that morning.) Deep breaths- it will be alright. It will all work out... in the end it won't matter if the food is perfect or the house is perfectly clean- Rhayn will have had her first birthday party that wasn't just my family.

On the way back to the school to pick up Rhayn, Gwen was fussing in the car. I glanced back and her and she said "I want my Daddy." Her blue eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill over the edge and streak down her face. Her mouth was pulled down in the corners. If I hadn't been driving I would have pulled her into my arms and had a good cry into her small shoulder. I miss her Daddy, too. It is getting harder as the days go by. Our routine is down (sort of) but we are all so lost without him. I keep thinking, he will be home in a month. But that is only for eight days. After that I am not sure how long he will be home at the next break. I have to remind myself that we knew this was coming, we knew he would be leaving. We were (sort of) prepared.

Projects

I began the process of moving Rhayn into her new room today. Even though I felt like I should have spent another day in bed. My head aches, and my body is just tired. I know that part of it is my mind dealing with the reality of Will not being here.

Our queen sized guest bed was moved into Rhayn's room. She was excited, because she gets to sleep in it until her "new room" and her "new bed" are painted. I took her bed apart, and put her mattress on top of Gwen's mattress. This made Gwen's bed the same height as my bed (which takes away her jumping fun, she loves to do flips off of my bed onto her own.)

Tomorrow I will spend more time sanding Rhayn's bed so that I can paint it. I also plan to paint my dresser to match as well as two night stands we have. I saw a really neat tutorial on faux lace for dressers, and might try that. I am not sure. So far I feel like I have a huge project started and I feel also like it needs to, HAS TO be done by her birthday. Maybe I can finish it the night before and she can spend her last night as a six year old in her new room. We'll see how it plays out.

I know that Gwen badly wants to sleep with her sister. She is trying to right now. I told her that she can, as soon as she uses the potty and wears panties all day. Is that wrong? Is it a good incentive for her? I know she will potty train/learn when she is ready, but I know that she could be ready. I could happily be done with diapers, I mean who wouldn't gladly be done with diapers? I suppose I need to get her out of there, she is keeping her sister awake. We need to go downstairs and have gup so that she can go to sleep, too. (Read as- so mama can go to bed.)

28 Month Newsletter

Dear Gwennie Goo,

You are now twenty eight months old. This month was a busy one for us all, in fact last month was so busy that I forgot to even write your newsletter. With Christmas and everything going on the days went so swiftly by that it was mid January before I knew it!

Your independence grows daily, as you practice things and tell me that you can “do it by self,” or “I do it.” But then the next moment you are my little cuddlekins again and want to be a baby. I fed you oatmeal one morning, because you were my baby. I ask you if you are “my baby” but you almost always say “No, I Gennie Goo.” I admit that “Gennie Goo” is a sweet little nickname and I adore calling you that.

You astound people when you start talking. And you really like to talk. Sometimes I want you to stop, just for a moment because you and Rhayn together make a lot of noise.

I always see pictures of toddlers covered in food. I often see your big sister covered in food, like she has missed her mouth. You, on the other hand, are usually a dainty eater. Not that you don’t eat very much, food doesn’t always cover your face at the end of a meal. We were at a birthday party recently and there were two other kids (admittedly younger than you) who were also eating cupcakes. Their little pudgy faces were covered in icing, the little boy looked like he had a moustache of chocolate, the girl a beard of vanilla. You had a tiny dab on the end of your nose, but were otherwise clean. Your clothes are another story, often covered in lentil soup or hot chocolate. If it is not food, you love to coat your face in it. I have countless pictures of you painted a nice pink from lipstick or ethereal looking from shiny white eyeshadow.

Bedtime is (knock on wood) no longer a struggle. We nurse (or as you put it “Hava gup in da tsair”) around seven and then cuddle and talk and play and usually watch a little television. Around 8:30 you are put to bed. Sometimes you cry a little and fuss about it, but you roll onto your side, cuddle your stuffed elephant and go to sleep. It is such a relief to me that sleep and going to bed is not the fight it used to be. This is going to make my life so much easier when Daddy is gone for the next while. I won’t be fighting with you, maybe I will even be able to get you to bed around 8 and have a bath with a nice book. I am totally going to need that since I won’t just be able to have Daddy watch you while I escape. I have tried letting Rhayn watch you, and it just doesn’t work, she is too easily distracted and forgets that she is the babysitter. Sometimes I think I expect more out of her than her nearly seven years are capable of.

This last weekend was your first away from me. You were fine; I on the other hand was a little worked up about it. I worried but your Grandma reassured me that you would be OK, you would not die or anything and you would still love me best of all. Alright, she didn’t reassure me of that, I added that because it makes me feel better to think that you love me best of all (you like gup best of all.)

If it were up to you we wouldn’t come home. You don’t want to most of the time. We round that corner towards our house and you scream “I don’t wanna go a house!” In a way it is cute, but mostly it is irritating, really irritating. You easily fall into a deep slumber in the car, and it is totally my saving grace some days.

Remember Care-Bear? Well I do, and you are at the stage she was at when I started watching her. That means quite a bit of the silly things you do are similar to the annoying things she did. I have to constantly remind myself that it is normal two year old behavior. I have to consciously not allow myself to become upset at you because you growled at me like she used to. I think that watching her was the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life. She really destroyed my patience and it is slow to grow, like a cactus.

No matter what, you are a ham. You crack me up so often and I love you for it.

Yours,

Mama

Rhayny Day 2

Rhayny Day,

In a few months you will turn seven. It seems hardly possible! This month you lost another tooth, the bottom left. Your smile looks broken, but so cute. I wish you would stop growing up, yet at the same time I can totally see the teenager emerging slowly, as your face takes on more adult features.

Christmas was good for you this year. You still don’t jump out of bed at the crack of down on Christmas morning. I had to send Gwennie in to wake you! Santa brought you a few long sleeve shirts and some nice boots. You also received a solar system and moon that hang in your room.

I am frustrated with you. But not because of anything you have done. In fact you are nearly perfect as far as six year olds go. You talk. All. Of. The. Time. And quite honestly, I have not been patient with you or your sister lately. I am a bit of a… well word that I don’t want you to use. It has nothing to do with you, as you are so cute and sweet, and loving. You tell me stories that I don’t want to hear. You talk about things we talked about five minutes ago, and then you tell me something obscure that I have no idea about. Usually it is a statement, like “You have seened one of these turtles afore.” Huh? Then you show me a picture in a book of a soft shelled turtle. As far as I can remember I haven’t “seened” one of those turtles in the wild ever. Maybe you know something I don’t? Where did that come from?

Right now you are sitting downstairs making clothes for your newest doll, Mandy. You have napkins and are safety pinning them to her. So creative. And I love you for it.

Love,

Mama

Rhayny Day #1

I love Rhayn. She is such an affectionate girl.

If there is any occasion for gifts (and even for no reason) she will rush up to her room and search and sketch and come down moments later with a gift bag of her treasures that she wants to share. This happened on my birthday. She hadn't given me a present, and after seeing the flowers that Will gave me, she disappeared for a time to return with a gift bag of pictures, her jewels, rocks, and a note that said "Rhayn" across the top with some hearts and "momm" on the middle (no not a mistype- it said momm, with no Y.)

I love these silly gifts, but sometimes I neglect to let her know. I forget to show her how I feel and maybe I alienate her while doing that. I will think back on the sweet things she does and smile. That day she went outside and cleaned up ALL the dog poop, that was great. The way she puts her own clothes away sometimes without me asking. How she loves to tidy up, arranging items on a table top to make the room pretty. All of these things make her Her, and make me love her that much more.

I realized that I write about Gwen once a month (alright- really like every other day) and I post about how fun she is and how I just sit and watch her. What about Rhayn? It isn't that I don't love her just as much, it is that I missed out on the bond I have with Gwen. Maybe it is because she didn't breastfeed, maybe it is because she is old enough that she doesn't "need" me, maybe it is because she nolonger co-sleeps with me. All I know is that I HATE it.

I hate how I feel towards her sometimes, like I neglect her and her specialness. So I am starting my "Rhayny Day" posts. It just so happens that she was born on the sixth of the month. So it seemed a fitting day to start these. Hopefully I will write these monthly. I need to. I need to celebrate Rhayn. Before she is a teenager and then? Well, maybe these will be a nice reminder of how great a kid she really was.

I had a nice day. I had my hair trimmed and my purple streak bleached (so that I can re-purple it.) Then my mom called because we were planning to meet up with her in the afternoon. She needed to get her car fixed, and was in town. It was going to take quite a few hours, so I picked Rhayn up from school early and we headed over. The Toyota dealership was awesome, with this really neat pirate ship play area for kids. Unfortunately, as happens every other day in my world, Gwen hit her head as she fell off of the crow's nest ladder.

We went to Target and wandered around for hours, looking at nearly everything.

My dad was in town doing his new job, and so he met us for dinner. We ate at the Texas Roadhouse (yum!) After dinner we all headed home.

Gwen fell asleep in the car, and slept all the way home. However when we came in, she became really fussy. She told me that her "belly owie!" She writhed and coughed, but didn't puke (yet.) I took her temperature. I held her upright and we rocked, and she nursed for a minute, then suddenly told me "I no want it." What? She must be REALLY sick, if she turns down gup! I asked her if she wanted to watch Shrek, so that I could blog (yeah, great Mom am I.) She said "Nes" and climbed into my bed, curled into a ball, and waited for me to turn it on. Right now she is on her stomach with her butt in the air watching Shrek 2. I am worried that this will be a long night. I am sure that this is something we have picked up from school. I believe I mentioned yesterday that Rhayn said her tummy hurt last night? And mine feels a little queasy, but that might be stress related.

Sigh, another day, another illness, right?


*Its 930 pm now, Shrek has ended and I just did the unthinkable (well, it was unthinkable before I had children, but now? It isn't just thinkable- its a regular sicktime occurrence.) I heard Gwennie getting ready to puke, and so put out my hands and caught. I didn't manage to keep it all from getting on the bed and she soiled two blankets in her hurling. However, she seems a little calmer. She was passing some pretty noxious gas before the vomiting.

I can feel a headache starting, and all I want is to sleep. This however is the last thing I think I will be doing tonight.

Jenny

I have a doll that has been my friend since I was a wee one. Her name is Jenny. I keep her in my cedar chest (or hope chest or blanket chest, whichever you would call it.) Sometimes when Rhayn is very good, and asks very nicely, she gets to play with her. She has a tea party with Rhayn's porcelain doll.

I wanted to show her what Jenny looked like when I got her (not that I remember or anything.) So I googled her, and found quite a few of her on eBay. She had a friend named Mandy and Becky, and I think we need those, also. I think Santa might be bringing the girls each a very special vintage doll. And I am really excited about it. Maybe we will have to get a nice doll tea set, hmmm let me pop on over to eBay and look at those, too.

If you are ever feeling nostalgic about toys that you once owned, check eBay, seriously. I had a great time looking at old dolls, and even found a few neat things that my mom used to let me play with, like Penny Brite.

Does anyone know the difference between a Cherry Limeade and a Shirley Temple? Is it just that a Cherry Limeade has fresh lime?

Whirling around and around

I feel like I haven't sat down for weeks. We have had non-stop things going on. Today was the first day I was able to actually even sort of clean house. Well, at least clean up two weeks worth of poop in the back yard and wash some windows. Last night we trick-or-treated with one of the girls in Rhayn's class. Rhayn had wings, she was an "ice fairy." Gwen was obviously a poodle. The house we went to had a dinner and then a herd (no joke, there was a herd) of children ranging in age from newborn to eleven I think. There were three Thomas the Trains, and two super cute puppies. The dogs stuck together and instead of saying "trick-or-treat" the other dog-girl's mama had them saying "Woof-Woof!" when the person answered the door. So cute. Rhayn stuck with her friend's mom. I actually didn't see her in trick-or-treating action at all. She did get quite a load of candy, though. There was even a full sized 3 Musketeer bar in the bag. I had the pleasure of being one of the few adults who dressed up. Now, if you know me, you know I am not the type who dresses up. So it felt weird a little to not be in "normal" clothes. But I did get quite a few compliments on my Giraffe costume.

I updated it from the party the other night and added the giraffe "horns" by using pipe cleaners to make some of my hair stand up. I think I look pretty darn cool, but you know I didn't get a decent picture of me, and not one in full costume. Now just don't look too closely, the picture of me is blurry and awful, but you can get an idea of the COOLNESS that was my costume. I am not sure if I posted a picture of the pants, let me just tell you, that there are times when a costume falls into your lap, this was one of them. Hairball and I were at Deseret Industries and we found these pants, a size 2 (I am NOT a 2) and they were giraffe print. I thought, hmmm, I should be an old lady from Florida and make my skin orangey and old looking. (Like the neighbor on There's Something About Mary.) Hairball thought I should go for giraffe. I bought the pants, but lost them last year. It was only in moving and redoing our toy room that helped me find them. Then at Target I found a baby poop yellow shirt, and it didn't match perfectly, but it did work. I bought brown felt and attached spots of it to the poop-yellow shirt. TaDa! A giraffe! At school for Halloween the first through eighth grades had a costume parade. The kids loved it, and it was so fun for them all to show off their creativity. Even Gwen joined in the festivities. Before the parade the classes carved pumpkins. I thought that would be a huge pain, but it turned out to be quite fun. Rhayn's pumpkin is in the middle. I carved the howling wolf, Will carved the cat.We have had a ton of fun this past little while, but I am so glad we have a little bit of time before the whirling fun of Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us.

Guess Who....

lost her very first tooth today? And is really excited.

And guess who is feeling a little sad... (yup, her mama.)

A Haircut

I have been considering it for weeks. The long unmanageable hair so wispy, so light. It needed a trim. But could I do it? Her curl, the tiny bit of curl that drew up the ends of her pretty blond hair might be gone forever.

So today, after we went in and had her two year old portraits taken, I trimmed Gwennie's hair for the first time. Admittedly, I did only trim about two inches off of the back. But it was hard. Her first haircut, such a milestone, such a big step for mama and her little girl.
She sat as still as any two year old could. Her sister zipped around us with the camera, snapping pictures as it happened. And in only about ten minutes, her hair is trimmed. Her baby wispiness is gone, in a way, I am sad, yet I am also glad its done and over with.

More Sewing

Hairball bought Gwennie a dress a long time ago at a thrift store. It has pineapples on it, and its so cute. I love the shape of the dress so I decided that I would attempt to make one like it. Yesterday we went to Joanns and picked up some fabric. Gwennie chose doggy fabric, then I saw some wiener dog fabric that was super cute. I bought one yard of each and some notions, rick rack and a zipper.

I didn't have time to sew them last night but this morning I made a pattern (using the old dress, and adding length on to it.) It took me about 3 hours to cut out and sew the two dresses. I added pockets on the front of them, as well. It was a lot of fun. I have some red white and blue star batiked fabric as well (clearance from July 4th!) I can not wait to cut into that. I want to make Rhayn a skirt to match Gwen. I saw so many fabrics that would be fun to make, and all in all it cost me about $5 for the fabric and notions. Maybe I could make these and sell them on Etsy? I have been toying with the idea of making something to sell on there for a while. I would not have picked the brown dog fabric , but Gwen would not let go of it! She kept saying "My goggy bank et!"

I am feeling much better today. Maybe it is that we are on our way to G'Rat's tonight because it was Gavin guy's birthday yesterday. Or maybe it is just that the funk has left. All I know is that today I feel darn good.

Toes

Ok, i posted a picture of Rhayn's hurt toe a few days ago. However today while I was looking at pictures from about March, I noticed that I had hurt my toe, the SAME TOE. Geesh, its pretty funny though. I don't remember how I did that... I didn't post on here about it. But still- its freaking HEE LAR EE OUS! isn't it? She is sooo my daughter!

Will was quite worried about her toe because he doesn't bruise unless he is broken. So not like me. I bruise if you look at me funny.

Five Years went by so quickly!

Darling-est Rhaynnon,

I can not believe that 5 years ago you were born. So much has changed, and I am in awe of your development.

I can still remember that first look at you, as you scowled at me, and there was no doubt who your daddy was (ok, there was no doubt anyway, but you looked JUST like him!) As I held your tiny body, the feet that had kicked me, the elbows I had been poked by, I was in awe and in love.

When you were 6 months old, and had the surgery to correct your cleft palate, that was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. As we watched the World Trade Center buildings collapse, we had to wait to make sure you were ok.

Before we knew it you were walking and turning one, then two, three and four. Now here we are at the cusp of five. School age. I am excited and worried at the same time. You have been talking about school for over a year now, and I know how it feels to look forward to the start of school, I have always loved that first day. I was extremely excited to get you into a better school, you will be attending a Waldorf charter school, instead of the local public school. I have been worried about sending you there. When you went to the daycare while I was in college you often came home and told me kids had threatened to “kick your butt.” I was unhappy about that, and this place seems to have a sense of community that will be good for the whole family.

Your imagination is incredible. We love to listen to your made up songs you sing, and the stories you tell. Every day you have something new to share with us. You play with your sister, and you, as I knew you would be, are the greatest big sister to her. Her eyes light up when she sees you (almost as much as when she sees me!)

I can not wait to see the woman you will become, although some days I am saddened by the big girl you are, and the baby you no longer will be.

I am so glad that we had you, and I have never thought of you as a mistake, only a happy, incredible, wonderful accident. I love you.

Always,
Mommy

I swear you were three, but for some reason I can not find a picture of you around your 3rd birthday!

beginning

Hi, My name is Leaner. I live in the desert southwest and have a daughter who is 3 1/2. I have always kept a journal, but never thought about starting one of these until a friend/ relative of mine showed me hers. I thought- hey, I should start one. I could REALLY use an outlet for my thoughts and feelings.

I am 26 yrs old (will be 27 next month) my husband is 27. He joined the Army National Guard and is currently in Basic Training until the beginning of November. I miss him so much, its been hard on me and our daughter. I can not imagine if he were deployed! Its hard enough having 9 weeks apart!

I am a stay at home mom, and I love it. I feel like I am artistic, I love to paint and draw. I hope to someday have that support me. (yeah right- long shot I know, but everyone has to have a dream of some sort, right?)

My life revolves around my daughter. I can't imagine how I lived before her. Its so hard to picture what I would be doing if I hadn't met her father! Those two are the best things in my life. I am pretty close to my family too. I know that without them I wouldn't have been able to get through this time away from my dh.

One of my brothers (I have 3) is stationed in Tikrit, Iraq. It has been hard on the family because of him being there. Luckily he has never been around during anything bad. He feels that Heavenly Father is protecting him from harm. I hope that he is right. He also told us not to worry that he will make it home safely. He only has 2 years left in the military. I also have 2 cousins over there.

My dh's best friend is also in Iraq, he is in Baghdad. He has only been there a few weeks. I worry more about his wife and baby girl. Its so hard and the war is such a hard thing to know understand. I don't know if I support the war, but I support our troops, they are our brothers friends sons daughters and children and spouses. How can we not support our families?
I don't know who I am voting for.

I want more children. I am hoping for 2 more. I want another girl and a boy. I want my daughter to have a sister. My sister and I are pretty close, considering we are 9 years apart (I am older) I wanted her so badly when I was a kid. I must admit that as a teenager I was awful and treated her awfully (my whole family, too.) But I am trying to make up for it now. I can only hope that as time goes by, she and I stay as close!