Even though Gwen woke me up with her "stuck nose" we had a play date. It was outside, and we don't let the girls share drinks. Food? Well that is nearly impossible to keep kids ages 2 to 4 from sharing. It was nice to see her, we used to have play dates every so often, and then her life fell to pieces, and she had to get a j-o-b. Gasp. But stability has entered her life again. She has a regular schedule and can meet up for gabfests. Which, you can imagine, I need.

It was a nice day for a morning play date at the park. The high today was supposed to be 83, so at nine the air still had a little chill to it, but so perfect. I took my mp3 player out, and pushed Gwen on the swings for a while before she arrived. It was blissful, peaceful, perfect.

After we parted ways, I headed over to Costplus, someone had said they sell nice ceramic teapots. I needed a few for Rhayn's party next week. I picked up three. I know, I know, but they are so perfectly sweet. I needed two, but I couldn't decide between the three. One is brown, on the receipt it was labeled the "Brown Betty." Another is covered in the sweetest brown and light blue flowers. The last was the most perfect of all, it is an elephant, its trunk is the spout. Rhayn says she likes that one the best. Me, too. I have a silly cow cream holder (you pour the cream from the cow's mouth) that I picked up a few months ago for a dollar at Target (gotta love clearance!) I think I have pretty much everything I need for a sweet little tea party. Am I getting in over my head? I am alright at this moment, but as the party gets closet will I start to panic?

I wanted to invite our family, but I figure for the tea party part- we will just deal with her classmates. I sent out invitations (in the mail!) yesterday. I addressed the envelopes to the girls, because I know how kids love to get mail. I just hope that a few of them will be able to come. I guess I fear that, but it is a silly fear, isn't it? A few of them will come. I can stop being paranoid about it. I made sure the school didn't have anything going on that day (there is a meeting that morning.) Deep breaths- it will be alright. It will all work out... in the end it won't matter if the food is perfect or the house is perfectly clean- Rhayn will have had her first birthday party that wasn't just my family.

On the way back to the school to pick up Rhayn, Gwen was fussing in the car. I glanced back and her and she said "I want my Daddy." Her blue eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill over the edge and streak down her face. Her mouth was pulled down in the corners. If I hadn't been driving I would have pulled her into my arms and had a good cry into her small shoulder. I miss her Daddy, too. It is getting harder as the days go by. Our routine is down (sort of) but we are all so lost without him. I keep thinking, he will be home in a month. But that is only for eight days. After that I am not sure how long he will be home at the next break. I have to remind myself that we knew this was coming, we knew he would be leaving. We were (sort of) prepared.