Tangled

My mom always kept my hair short when I was a child. I thought she was just mean or lazy, it turns out that fine hair does not do well when it gets long. Unless I have a lot of time to fight with Gwennie about her hair, its best to keep it short.

Only for a while now, Gwennie wanted long hair like her cousin Madder. We also watched the movie "Tangled" and she was inspired to have long golden hair like Rapunzel (since her hair is golden already!) It was fine for a time, but recently has become a battle, a daily battle. Her hair is quite fine in the back and unless iits brushed a few times a day is starts to look like this.
She asked for a hair cut. I asked her what she would like. "A pixie cut like Rhayn," was her reply.
"I'm sorry honey, that is not happening, what if we..." and I rambled off a few cuts that I felt would better suit her. Today we finally got around to her hair cut. She was excited. She likes to sit in the chair. I am pretty sure its because she has a captive audience in her hair dresser. She talk non-stop to anyone who will listen. Just a little while after she looked like the above, she came out of the Super Cuts looking like this:And I think it fits her just fine.

Gratitude Tuesday

This week I am thankful for

~30 weeks! Yikes! 10ish weeks to go. This is freaking me out, but also I am getting excited. There is much I need to get done in the next 10ish weeks! Which brings me to the next thing I am thankful for.
~decluttering. I have been going, room by room, through our house. I have much to donate. The girls willingly went through some of the toys, namely the Littlest Pet Shop toys to pick out which ones they wanted to keep. I did the rest, with a little bit of help.
~energy. After that illness a few weeks ago, I am really glad to have energy back, especially since I want to clean and declutter.

Oh, and how cute does Rhayn look with her new pixie cut? I'm over the shock of it, and really like it. I'm not sure her dad agrees, but its her hair, right? And it is just that, hair. Hair grows out. I personally love this haircut (for myself) and maybe after baby is born will go back to it. Rhayn and I are lucky, I think, we can pull off long and short hairstyles. Some women are not as lucky.

Jumble

I want to write, but am not sure what I want to write about. Sometimes when this happens I will look at pictures and find one that reminds me of a story I wanted to write about, or one that brings back some memory. I don't want to look at pictures, because on Halloween I took a lot of pictures of Penny. I am not quite ready to see her sweet face again. I mean I see it often when I close my eyes and I have to try to avoid thinking of her because it still hurts so much. I still feel like there was so much I could have done to avoid the bad situation of her final day with us. But its in the past and I need to move on.

Rhayn has been asking me to cut her hair, or to take her to get a hair cut for weeks. She wanted a pixie cut. I think she would be adorable with one, and we may go there soon. Instead I attempted a graduated bob. This is a hair style that she has sported often and is really cute on her. She wants her hair shorter and was disappointed in the cut. I don't blame her. I know what she wants, but I am fearful of cutting her hair that short myself. I used to shave my head often, then let it grow out into a pixie, but I have never cut a pixie (never did a graduated bob either, but it came out decently. I wanted to start with the longer cut so if it was totally messed up we could keep cutting and she would get to her pixie.)

Gwennie also needed a bang trim, but that is simple. I could use a trim/cut/style but I'm not about to do my own. I want to head over to a local beauty college this week and have them do it. I just need it cleaned up a bit which is simple and hopefully they won't give me mushroom head. (My hair doesn't usually do that, since it has a lot of wave in it.)

Yesterday morning I complained about Lily's whiny butt waking me up. She wanted to go outside and normally Will lets her out, but he didn't wake up so she came to me, ten minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Then this morning at 5 am, the smoke detector in my bedroom went off. Argh! It was so frustrating. I closed the window and vacuumed the smoke detector until it turned off. I went back to sleep, then it went off again, same routine (well the window was closed) and again right before 7. At 7 I took the smoke detector down and vacuumed it all.

About an hour ago the downstairs alarm went off. Sigh. I checked the battery but it is fine.

I hate the sound of smoke detectors. My good friend, P's neighbor's house has had a smoke detector going off for weeks. No one lives there, and so there is nothing that can be done to make them stop. Its loud enough you can hear it when you stand outside of her house. Not fun.

Semi-Silent Sunday

Rhayn had to wait until after her ballet performance for the haircut that she wanted. It was worth the wait! Isn't her hair pretty? I love the au natural highlights the summer gives her.
By the way, this is a hairstyle I have always loved. But having wavy hair, its a cut I can't pull off without lots of work. Still, it fits her wonderfully.

Darker

Taken just before I started dying it.

I've been contemplating my hair again. I am happy with the length but the color was dull to me. I had gotten highlights in November that had slowly faded to a blondish dull color. In the sun, it was pretty, but in the morning when I stare at myself in the mirror it just was blah. Will has told me that although he liked the color he really prefers my hair nearly black. I like golden colors and chose a box of Natural Instincts called "Golden Cappuccino." It is a new color, one I had never used before. Usually when I want to go back to dark I have used "Clove" or "Nutmeg" I've been using Nutmeg to darken my hair since high school in fact. What I like most about the Natural Instincts brand dye is that it is semi-permanent. Over the course of a few weeks it fades to close to my natural color, it gives a quick (taking only 10 minutes) boost of color.

On Friday, after drop off and my weekly cup of coffee with a friend, I decided it was time. Gwennie and I set up in the bathroom and she watched while I saturated my hair. She waited patiently while I rinsed it out. Then when I looked in the mirror, I was stunned. I had had the lighter color long enough that this new dark color was a bit of a shock. Plus, it was not at all the same color as the box. Its pretty, don't get me wrong, its just more red and darker.

(Please excuse the zit on my cheek.)

I did get a lot of compliments on it, Will told me he likes it and that he really does prefer my hair dark. But every time I look in the mirror its a little shocking. I am sure that over the next few days I will get used to it, and then finally I will not even notice it.


(No, I was not sponsored or paid for this post. I really just love this product!)

Gratitude Day 30

I am thankful that Gwennie is such an easy child. Today would have been taxing on many children, but she rolled with it. You see we had to go get some maintenance done on the truck and I figured that while there, I would get something done with my hair.

We dropped the truck off around 8:45 and walked over to Safeway and I purchased some coffee and a vanilla milk for her. Then we went to Fantastic Sam's. We were there for about 2 hours. Gwennie drew letters she saw on a box while my hair processed. She helped the lady take the foils out of my hair, too. She is such a good helper.

Here is a picture of Gwennie and her letters. I think the box said RAFFLE and she was copying them in no particular order. She would run over to the box, look at the letters then run back to her chair to write it. She did this over and over before asking me what it said.


After my hair was done, we walked back to the mechanic and checked on progress. We were told it would be about another half an hour before it was taken back for diagnosis. Gwennie and I walked to Panda Express (her choice) for lunch. After which we wandered around CVS for a while.

We headed back to the mechanic and waited there. Gwennie took a nap.


I attempted to take a picture of my hair, but it isn't good. I can do better, but yeah....


I called a friend to pick up Rhayn when I realized that we would not be done by 3. She brought Rhayn to where I was, and we all walked over to Sonic for a tasty mid afternoon treat. (I am grateful for her help.)


We finally got home at 4:30. The dogs had been crated for about 8 1/2 hours and Penny hadn't had an accident in there. (I am thankful for that, too!) All in all not too bad of a day, the weather was lovely for spending it outside, and Gwennie is so much fun to hang out with. I love four year olds. I think its my favorite age. I remember how much I enjoyed Rhayn at this age, too.

Hair Obsessions

Once again, my hair is at the forefront of my obsessions. I want to cut it all off. If I do I will wish it were long. I usually wear it in a pony tail, or pigtails (as it is currently.) I learned how to french braid it last week, and with enough hairspray it lasted all day. But really? How am I happiest? This longish mop of hair on my head is beautiful if I fix it, but how often do I do that? Yes, the answer is rarely. Do I want it short? Yes, but if it is shorter won't it be a pain to deal with daily. (You know, when I can't just brush it back into a pony tail?)

Sigh... I am trying not to cut it all off, thinking it may be a direct result of my depression that is making me think of shaving it all off. I won't cut it myself... but maybe I should hide the clippers and scissors anyway?

And here are more pictures of cuteness. These were both taken in 2005, on this date. Awwwww...

Half Way to an All Girl Beatles Cover Band

Rhayn loves Gwennie's short hair. As soon as she came home from her playdate on Friday she was asking if I could cut her hair to look like Gwennie. There was a time in my life that I considered going to beauty school, and cutting hair for a living. I still think that I would have been pretty good at it, had I chosen then path. I didn't have time on Saturday to cut Rhayn's hair, but this morning, after breakfast, I got out the camera and took a few before pictures.

We headed into the bathroom with a stool and scissors and in just a half hour she came out looking like this.

(A bonus to this hair style/length, she won't have hair in her face and she can't get food in her hair. Sweet.)

Lest you all think I am crazy for letting her hair be that short, remember she wanted it that way. And yes, I agree, she looks like a blonde Beatle.

The picture below if just for cuteness sake. Here is a short haired Rhayn at 3 and 3/4 years old. Awwww... She really hasn't changed that much, has she?

Shave and a HAIR CUT!?

A quick reminder of the cuteness that was Gwennie just yesterday.

I am watching one of Gwennie's little friends today. I was baking some bread and making chicken stock this morning. The two girls had gone upstairs to play and were being really quiet. I checked on them multiple times, but didn't stay upstairs with them. (I was also cleaning the kitchen and the 4 cups of steaming hot chicken stock I spilled all over the counter and on the floor, well the dogs cleaned the floor for me.)

At 12:15 we left to go pick up Rhayn from school, as its a half day. We were in the garage, and Gwennie was tryig to open the garage by pushing the button. This was the moment I noticed it. Someone had cut her hair.

The left side (above) only has a tiny piece chopped off. But the right side? Butchered.


Looks like a flippin' mullet. So nice. Its not the first time her hair has been trimmed (by her or Rhayn). Luckily for us, we had her four year old pictures taken yesterday. There is no way to save her length. She wanted to grow it out, but now? Well we shall be cutting it quite short. Maybe this, the third, time she will learn not to cut her hair or to let others cut it. The other girlie said she did it, and Gwennie said she let her. Fun times. It doesn't look like they cut the other girlie's hair. Thankfully. I'm sorry M, I wasn't watching them very closely and well, Gwennie chopped your daughter's beautiful hair off.

(By the way, they are sitting nicely at the table playing with salt dough I made for them while I write this post. I am keeping a better eye on them from now on.)


Update- as girlie #2 is taking a nap. I trimmed her hair, as best I could.


It could be more even. I will most likely go back to it later. But for now? Its cute, in an "I'm a boy in a pink dress" sort of way. Actually, I love it. Believe me, at one point she wanted a high and tight, "just like my Daddy", while he was gone. I talked her out of that. She totally could have pulled it off I think. She is just that cute.

Shorter

I decided to cut off Gwen's hair. *sob sob* I loved her messy, dreaded, golden locks. Loved. But she wanted a "hairs cut just like Daddy!" Seriously, she has been asking for one for months. There have been a few times I might have almost thought about giving in. But I always step back. I do not want that.

Rhayn had shortish hair at this age. It was easier. But Gwennie? She had that lovely golden hair. When she played horse (like she does all of the time) she would neigh and shake her hair like a golden mane. I didn't want to chop it off. Sniff sniff.

But I did. And after some time of argument, and Gwennie crying "I don't want my hair like this!" And me hyperventilating (maybe I should have taken her to a salon!) She now looks like this:

Cute, no?

I guess she matches her cousin Madder. Sigh. Three years of growing, but its hair- it grows back. And by the time Daddy is home it will be longer and hopefully you won't even be able to see the two spots she trimmed in the front (because you can still see them now.)

I think she needed a trim.

Sleep Over

Last night Rhayn had her very first sleep over with her friend, Em. It was fairly nice since Em's mom is a really good friend of mine, and Em has a little sister who is friends with Gwennie. Oh, and then she has a 9 month old son. We felt that Em just staying wouldn't work, and Em's mom figured we could have a big sleep over.

It was fun, and we laughed and joked and the girls played. We walked to the park with the kids to let them run and then settled in for a nice movie (The Cat Returns.) After the movie big girls packed up and headed upstairs to sleep. Only Em has never slept without her mom, and wasn't able to. We got out the sleeping bags and Rhayn and Em slept on the floor near Em's mom. (But they didn't fall asleep until close to ten.) Around 4 Lily started whining and I took her outside. But she sort of woke up Em's little sister. Then the girls all woke up around 5ish. They are early risers. Luckily for me Gwen stayed asleep until 7.

Later on in the morning, (8ish) All four girls were upstairs playing quietly. Suddenly Em runs downstairs yelling "They got baby powder!" gasp gasp "And its everywhere!" gasp "They have glass cups and plastic cups and they are full. Of. Baby. Powder!"

We rush upstairs to find this.

And this.

What a mess, no wonder they were being so quiet! Together we were able to get the mess cleaned up in about twenty minutes. Whew. What a morning.

All of the kids had a lot of fun. But me? I am exhausted.


Gratuitous picture of Em's little brother's beautiful hair. Don't you just want to run your fingers through it? Well, I do. And I proceed to every time I see him.

Girls

Having girls means learning how to french braid at thirty. It means that sometimes you get to curl hair and be really impressed with yourself when it comes out really pretty. Lets just hope her hair holds for another two hours until after her school concert! (Hush- I know it is not perfect. But for me, the girl who shaved her head because it was easier, this is high fashion.)

Make Me Pretty.

Wednesday morning, instead of going to handwork like I normally do, Gwennie and I went to my favorite beauty salon. I was lucky and my favorite person was working. I told her that I was sick of my hair. I wanted something fun, and different. She looked at my hair and gave me some suggestions. I told her to do what she wanted. I trust her with my hair.

She put chunks of blond in all over my head. There is no rhyme or reason to where they are, just placed around.

As I was processing, she trimmed Gwennie's hair. Her first trim in the big seat. Her second trim, ever. Gwen looked so small in the chair, draped over with a fish smock. She sat perfectly still. A even commented that she sat better than some adults. Then she was done. And Gwen has bangs. And she looks cute, but even older than she did before. Something about those bangs makes her look like she is 3 and not 2 and 7 months. (Not the best picture of her... but you get the idea.) After Gwennie's trim, A rinsed my hair and wouldn't let me look in the mirror until she was done styling it. And WA LA! She gave me a funky do, and it looked great. I don't have the right brush to recreate the flip that she did. I might have to get one, because it was so cute. And I loved it. I love the color, too. Its fun. I dyed the brown a few weeks ago, and didn't like it, but then she added these blond chunks and it looks great. Plus? The brown is about the same color as my eyes, you can see a flash of light in my eye in the bottom picture (if you click on it.) Doesn't that look cool?

A Little Ear Wax

Last night Gwen and I were watching "Dr. Krane" (Frasier) together. She was sitting across the sectional from me, playing with a toy. As we watched she moved closer to me, and was yanking on her earlobe. Every time she would tug on her left earlobe I could head an audible POP! Now if she was more than a few feet away I couldn't hear it. But it happened over and over. Tug. POP! Tug. POP! It didn't seem to bother her, so I tried it, gently pulling her ear lobe. POP!

Oh course as an internet junkie as soon as I put her to bed I googled "ear, popping" and "ear, popping, toddler." But I only found information on flying with a child. I found an article from BBC News about a boy who was deaf, and at age 11 he heard a POP! and a piece of a cotton swab fell out of his ear and he could hear again. Nothing that really explained what was going on. So I worried.

Earlier that day we had been in the car and she asked me to turn off the singing (The radio) because it was hurting her ears. And over the past few weeks she has mentioned that her "ear is not working!" a few times. But these were quickly followed by her running off and saying it worked again.

These three incidents made me worry. Worry enough to call the doctor as soon as the office opened to schedule an appointment for her. You see, she didn't have a fever. So I knew it wasn't an ear infection. So what if it was something worse? A blown eardrum or she was going deaf. My over active mind kept me awake most of the night worrying about that and then I had this dream in which Will meets a "British chippy" yeah that is what he called her- and wanted to be with us both. I tried, but kept getting jealous. It was horrible. I would wake up from that dream and wish I could call him, but then I would start thinking about Gwennie's ear all over again. Needless to say I did not get a good night's sleep.

In the morning, Gwennie was constantly tugging on her left earlobe. She did it so much that her ear lobe was rather red. I dropped Rhayn off at school and headed to the doctor. Gwennie was crying about not wanting to go to a doctor. She was scared about it for some reason. We got to the office a little early, but there were very few people there. She actually was taken back before her appointment time.

The nurse and I talked, apparently she remembered me, but thought my older child was a boy. Maybe she saw us after Rhayn's haircut last summer. The doctor came in and she looked in Gwennie's right ear and declared it fine. Then looked in the left. She said she couldn't actually see if it was inflamed, because it was so full of ear wax.

Another nurse comes in with this syringe thing, a towel, and two bowls. She proceeds to fill one of the bowls with hot water. Then asks me to hold Gwennie on the table while she flushes out the wax. We cover her with the towel and hold the second bowl right under her ear to catch the drainage (one of those little pink bowls they give you in case you throw up, you know the ones that barely hold anything.) Gwennie does not like this. She moves away, squirms, tries to push the syringe out of her ear. Finally the nurse looks and sees a huge chunk of wax sitting in the external ear. She gets a little plastic swab thing and pulls it out. Then she asks Gwennie if she wants a book and hands her a board book about Spot the dog and counting.

The doctor comes back in and looks in Gwennie's left ear again. It is fine. Nothing going on there. Apparently the waxy build-up had blocked her ear so she could barely hear out of it. It caused her a little discomfort, too. But now she is fine, and has carried her book around all day.

Thinking About Blonde Jokes

I really want to bleach all of my hair and be blonde. I have lately become obsessed with blonde hair, looking at those tressed by light hair, with envy. Is that weird?

For me? No, not really, but I haven't done it in a long time. I think it would be fun. Then I think it wouldn't look pretty for very long, because my hair is fairly dark. Plus I want to grow my hair out, at least a little longer (so I can have a pony tail, er, I mean so I can put it up in a fancy updo.) Bleach really strips the hair of moisture and if we swim at the pool this summer, that would be a bad combination. Maybe I should go to the salon and have highlights put in, or maybe lowlights? Or maybe I should rebleach my stripe and dye it the cotton candy pink dye I bought at Sally's today.

Did you know I used to work in a Sally's store? I did, and I changed my hair color WEEKLY. That is right, once a week it would go from brown, to red, to green, to pink, to black, to platinum blonde. I know how to dye my hair, totally. Been doing it since I was fifteen and became tired of people asking me if I bleached my hair. You see, when I am in the sun a lot, it becomes quite blonde. When I started High School, in 1992, I had blonde hair and black eyebrows. Yes, a lovely combination, I know. You all just wish you could have been as cool as I was. My very first hair dye color was well, after the koolaid episodes, boring brown. I just wanted to look like it was natural. It soon became apparent that I didn't want to be normal, though. Look how cute. Rhayn does look like me! At least a little. I still think she looks most like her "regular" grandma- my awesome Mom. But in this picture I can see her resemblance to me. Especially in the hair area. Lucky her- she has green eyes and will have lovely brunette hair, she even has the nice hairline, the nearly to the eyebrows, not a fivehead, hairline. Pretty! (Mom, any idea how old I am in this picture? Four? Five?)

Deep Dark Spaces

Every night I sit down, after watching television, and stare at my computer. Like, maybe, if I stare hard enough, it will talk to me. Then I won't feel so lonely. Maybe I will feel like I have a friend.

I spend time on Myspace, looking at pictures, at old friends. I search through pictures, thinking of good times, bad times. I stare into folders of pictures, stories, blog entries, likes and dislikes, of people I think I once knew, forever ago. I knew them in another lifetime. Now, I pretend I am still as cool as I used to be. I put a new picture of myself up that I think reflects me in some small way as the cool chick I was then. I don't want them to know that I am the frump-master. I like that about Myspace. You can hide behind funny pictures and witty statements, no one has to see the you that you really are.

Blogs are similar. I could hide my true self while I write. I could only tell the good stories, the funny anecdotes, if I wanted. I can post only great pictures of myself when my hair looks perfect. Do I do that? I don't think that I do. (Well, the great pictures of myself one, maybe.) I think I get fairly honest on here. I think I open up my heart and bare my soul. Not all of the time, but sometimes? Don't I?

Yet, I feel like I don't even know myself. I question the parts of me that I have always thought were truths. I look deep inside and see closed doors, dark corners and locked up spaces. Should I, do I dare to open them? What will I find inside? Should I keep them locked up so very tightly, at least until I am mentally prepared to see the blackness? If I opened them right now, how would that make me feel? Especially since my best friend isn't here to help me pick up the pieces if I shatter. I think maybe I am not ready to open those closets. Not yet.

First Friday

In Phoenix there is an event the first Friday of every month, aptly called "First Friday." In the downtown area the galleries are open and art surrounds you. I have never made it out. I want to, every month I think of it (usually Saturday morning.) But this month, I am going (if Will agrees!) I was invited by a friend to check it out with her and her friends. I totally want to go, the more I think about it the more I want to go. I feel excited about it.

Also I went to get a trim today. My hair was looking dumpy, unless I straightened it. It still looks sort of dumpy but in a more modern dumpy way. Sigh, I am totally going to go straighten it right now.

Jenny has new friends! Becky and Mandy have come to join us. Won't the girls LOVE these gifts? Still deciding if Santa or I will bring these precious gifts. Mandy even has shoes and a hat! (She isn't the first release but she is so cool!) You can tell these little ladies were not as loved as Jenny was. They are clean and their hair wasn't nearly the mess Jenny's is (even though I combed it!)
I am so excited for Christmas. Gwennie already loves these little ladies. But who wouldn't (I know Hairball- you and Alex's Human don't like dolls, but these are VINTAGE collectible dolls. And I have had Jenny since I was a baby.)

Busy Day

Last year when I went to the dentist, Gwen panicked and wouldn't actually let me have my teeth cleaned. So today I was a little worried. Rhayn went back, had her cleaning and everything is good. Then it was my turn. Luckily, Gwen was distracted by the large basket of silly little toys that kids get after a cleaning. I had taken some ibuprofen because the last few times I have gone, as she was cleaning my teeth it hurt a little. So I decided to take preventative medication. She told me that was probably a good idea.

After the dentist, I took Rhayn to have a hair trim. (Not a cut, saying a hair cut makes her nervous, because she is trying to have "long hair for braids" at the moment.) I adore the lady who cut her hair. I prefer her to cut my hair as well.

Following the hair trim, we decided to get lunch, as it was already eleven. Rhayn picked Chinese food, then I asked her if she wouldn't prefer onion soup. Her reply was, "Oh, Yeah! I forgot about onion soup!"So we ate at Mimi's.

It was nearly noon by this time, and instead of taking her to school we went to Target. I know, she should have gone to school, but I rarely keep her home. Plus, even if I took her to school, it would have only been about three hours. I still needed to go to the grocery store as well.

Needless to say, I am wiped. I wish I could just sit on my bum but I had to put away laundry. Now its time to start prepping dinner. Maybe after dinner I will get to rest? Do you think?