Appendectomy

She woke up Wednesday morning to tell me that she was having bowel problems. Her expression embarrassed, and also in pain. I told her to see if she felt better by the time school started, instead within an hour she was vomiting in the bathroom.
She spent the next 24 hours puking and moaning. She told me her stomach hurt, and wanted a hot pack. Rice in a sock, microwaved provided some relief. She couldn't keep anything down.
Thursday was the same. She slept fitfully, watch TV, wandered around the house, puked, showered, and repeated this over and over trying to find relief. But nothing really helped.
8pm, the younger girls were asleep (or at least in bed) and she came and sat on the couch to watch TV with us. We talked about her symptoms and noticed she was pointing mainly to the lower right side of her abdomen. We looked up appendicitis and after some discussion I headed to the emergency room with her 9:30.
10 pm we arrived and got checked in. The ride was miserable because every bump caused her to wince and grimace in pain.
Since she hadn't eaten or kept anything down in days, they almost immediately got her started on fluids as well as morphine and zofran. The doctor discussed her symptoms and agreed with appendicitis. It would just take a miserable ultrasound (since she's very thin) to show an enlarged angry appendix.
Antibiotics were started and we waited for a room in the children's hospital. We didn't get taken up until 3:30am.
At 7 the surgeon came and talked to us. At this point she was nearly at a 10 as far as pain. The medicine they'd given her was barely taking the edge off of the excruciating pain.
Daddy arrived around 8:20. And about 9 they took her down to the OR.
Her surgery took longer than we thought it would because when they got in to her the appendix had ruptured and was leaking into her back. There is a term for it, but I can't remember, basically her appendix was located behind her colon so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it was more than we hoped.
My mom and dad arrived while she was surgery, they were going to watch Abi, Natalie and Gwen so that Ray and i could be present at the hospital for Rhayn.
When she came out of surgery i chose to go home and shower and nap a little. Knowing that Ray was there for her and that she would be quite drugged for the rest of the afternoon and evening.
I came back to the hospital in time to bring Ray supper and talk to Rhayn a little. Before going home for the night.
This morning I got back to the hospital at about 8:30. Brought Ray breakfast but the smell made Rhayn nauseated so we ate in the parents lounge.
We were able get Rhayn up to walk around the room a little, but she is still in a lot of pain. She also hasn't eaten and they still haven't let her have anything by mouth.
In order for her to get to go home she needs to eating and drinking (in order to take her antibiotics by mouth) as well as able to get out of bed.
Right now she can barely get out of bed.

All of this was made more complicated by her having a cold and her lung function is a little compromised. But she's a healthy young girl and in a few weeks I am sure she'll be back to normal.

Asthmaa

This last week has been a whirlwind.

Thursday night Abi woke up coughing. She had trouble settling back down so we went the couch and I held her. She woke up every so often, and would cry out. Neither of us was sleeping. She was struggling to breath so I gave her a nebulizer treatment. It was 4am,i gave her a second one at 6am. Then at 8am called the dr and took her in to her pediatrician, we had just gotten her established at a new office in Monday and I'm so glad.

In the office they gave her another treatment as her o2 level was only 88%. It didn't help for long, in fact we weren't even able to get her o2 above 94 even with oxygen and a nebulizer treatment. During this time I also dropped my phone in the toilet, and that was terrible.

At around noon (I'm not even sure, i was so out of it) she was transported to the hospital by ambulance. I followed behind and Daddy meet us there.

At the hospital she looked so tiny, hooked up to all of those machines. But she needed to be there. She was so tired from trying to breath, she couldn't sleep because she was having trouble breathing and all she wanted was sleep.

She slept after we got there, because she was hooked up to oxygen, she was getting breathing treatments every hour, and she finally want gasping for every breath. But she looked so tiny. So frail.
She stayed over night. She saw so many doctors, so many albuterol treatments.

A diagnosis of asthma.
Inhalers
Inhalers
An action plan.

An exhausted mommy.

Seriously exhausted. I am having a hard time coming to terms with the whole experience. I keep going over what happened and feel like I should have been able to help her sooner. She shouldn't have struggled as long as she did.

But (hopefully there never is a next time but) next time I'll know what to do. Next time, if she's struggling like that, I know what to do.

Please, let there never be a next time.

House of Bowls.

I lay down at night, my stomach cramping, or maybe my uterus, or something else. I can't tell. I can only tell that I feel miserable. I sleep fitfully on the couch so that others can sleep. Morning comes and I still feel awful. I worry, because I am not yet 36 weeks, that something is wrong with the baby. So I take the day off, taking it easy, resting my weary body, doing only what must be done (getting dinner in the crock pot), feeding myself and Natalie.

The day wears on and I don't feel better. It is the girls' last day of school, a short day and they arrive home weary but happy. Arms loaded with papers and hearts full of memories. Natalie is napping on the couch so I allow them to watch t.v. while I go to my bed and rest more.

Not much later, dozing in and out of dreamland, Rhayn comes to me "Natalie threw up" and I can hear her crying. She's not thrown up in a very long time, really it was just spitting up that she did last. Unlike Gwen who is the vomit queen (at 3 she was able to make it to the toilet 99% of the time, unlike Rhayn who still pukes all over the bathroom on her way to the toilet) and  still throws up easily. Rhayn helped me clean up. Natalie was standing by the toilet a stream of puke leading from the recliner to the bathroom.

I pick up Natalie and place her in the tub to rinse her off (she has puke in her hair). And then we snuggle. I run the first load of laundry.

Much later, much much later she throws up again, this time all over the carpet in my bedroom. Will helps clean up. I am trying not to throw up myself. Gwen is gagging because Natalie puked on her.

I went to sleep around 8 but got up around 9 to get Natalie from Rhayn. Another fitful night of sleep. My legs are restless and I can not really feel comfortable. My body aches from laying down all day. It is miserable. All night... miserable.

At 6am I am wide awake. Will is getting ready to ride his bike to work (he does this 2 days a week). I wander out and Will tells me that Rhayn was throwing up all night. She looks miserable laying on the couch with a bowl near her. I can tell this is going to be a very long day.

But at least I am feeling better, my stomach still feels a little off, but I haven't puked (or had diarrhea.) Natalie seems to be feeling better. She ate a bowl of cereal and hasn't  thrown up today. Gwen isn't sick yet, but I am sure she will be soon.

I am glad we waited to get this until school was out. It would have been sad for the girls to miss any of the last week of school. Hopefully this is a quick illness, with only 24-48 hours of feeling awful.

My stomach feels much better, not 100% but much better. I feel anxious though. Like I am crawling out of my skin, and the house is a huge mess and it smells. I think I will force myself to spend the day cleaning.

SMOW!

Last week we went on a mini-road trip. The girls and I met my parents and many of the cousins at my sister's house on the east side of town. Then we figured out who would ride in which car.

In the end, Grandpa had 3 girls, Madder, Katie and Gwennie in the truck, my mom had Gav, B and Rhayn in her car and Brie and I had our babies (Natty, Nannah and Mellie-belly). Then we parted ways because Brie and I were not taking the same path as they were.

We drove the 3 hour drive fairly uneventfully, arriving in the ShowLow area in the afternoon. The place was amazing, buried in snow drifts and icicles melting in the sun. The kids were all outside having "snowcones" (koolaid poured over clean snow). But soon everyone made their way into my cousin's house.

We hung out and had a great evening. For dinner there were tamales, salsa, beans and cheese quesadillas.

Around 11 I started feeling really sick, and ended up throwing up. A few hours later Gwennie started throwing up, and didn't really stop for almost 20 hours. She barely held down water, running and throwing up every time she took a sip.

In the morning everyone (aside from Gwennie, Natty and myself) bundled up and went out sledding. I bundled Natalie up and took her into the snow to take a few pictures.

The day dragged since I was just watching my poor sick girl and dreading the 3 hour drive home. Brie and I took Gwennie with us, and we also took a few blue party cups to hold puke if she needed it. And she did, oh she did. She filled up the cup half way before we even left the town. We had to stop a second time within an hour to throw the vomit out of the car. Brie's one year old, Nannah cried nearly the entire 3 hour drive home. Poor Gwennie was in the back seat heaving while we made the curvy drive home. She felt better when we made a rest stop in Payson, and even ate a little bit of a lunchable (she wanted it) but was back to puking soon after.


We made it to Brie's house, and I still had a 45 minute drive home after that. I nursed Natty and we hung out for a little while to stretch. Rhayn had gone home with my mom and dad, and my mom was bringing her home the next day (when she was coming over to help me get started on the daunting task of packing!) Gwennie didn't throw up again after we made it back to town. Thank goodness. And she was fine by the next day. But I had to cancel her sleep-over the next night because I wasn't sure if she was 100% by then.

It was a beautiful drive up, and on the way home I saw a bald eagle in a tree near the road and a lovely doe near the road. But I really missed my ME time, which is what I usually get while the girls go to the snow with my parents.

Gratitude Day 8 and 9

I made it one week before I slacked.

Yesterday I felt grateful for the La Leche League meetings I have been going to. No, I don't currently have any breastfeeding issues, however I have. I am grateful to have found that group.

Today I am thankful that Gwennie hasn't puked all over the floor. She knows when she needs to puke and runs for the bathroom. Rarely does she miss the toilet. She's been good about it since she was 3. I am really thankful for that, since Rhayn is the opposite and often (even at 10) pukes all down the hallway from her bed to her bathroom. Since Gwennie is puking (at this moment) and has been getting sick since about 3 am this morning, this is a good thing.

Rhayn used to tell me that she "spilled" when she threw up. It was so cute.

Gratitude Day 1

Another November has entered our lives. I am once again going to focus on things I am grateful for.

Today I am grateful for my friends. Well, actually yesterday I was grateful for friends. You see, Rhayn got sick in the night on Sunday, and so Monday morning (Halloween) she was not going to school. And Natalie's rash (all over her body) had not subsided. I decided I would leave a sick 10 1/2 year old at home with a puke bowl, phone numbers for all of the people I could think of, and a lot of Harry Potter on the television while I took Gwennie to school and then Natalie to the doctor.

At school I ran into my friend, A, who offered to go sit with sicky while I was out.

I know Rhayn would have been fine at home alone. She often stays home alone, but she wasn't feeling well. And having A come over gave me peace of mind.

It turned out that Natalie was going to be fine and everything was honky dory.

Just a Quickie

Natalie is on the mend from her illness. Today she is covered in a small rash. I took her to the doctor and they believe its just a virus and that her vaccine reactions were really the virus and not the vaccine (or compounded by the virus). She seems to be feeling quite a lot better today.

Rhayn was sick last night, and this morning. She had to stay home from school with her puke bowl and is having a "Harry Potter-a-thon" while

Gwennie is at school. I am missing the festivities because I am here with sickies.

I am not yet sure what we are doing to trick or treating tonight. We had a plan, and as long as Rhayn feels somewhat better we'll execute as planned. My fingers are crossed that she does, because I bought her a costume... I want to see her wear it!

Today all three of my lovely ladies had their pictures taken. The lady who does the school portraits also does sibling portraits in the morning. I look forward to seeing the final results.

Once again Natalie is ill. Maybe she never fully got over the last cold. She once again has sneezes and a runny nose (though it is clear) and fussiness. Over the weekend Natalie was so fussy we ended up giving her tylenol twice. She was teething, her gum swollen and red. Her tooth broke through on Sunday, and it is still slowly pushing up. It may be what is causing her irritation, but maybe not.

Last night it took a long while for me to fall asleep. Then Natalie kept waking up fussing. She wasn't fully waking up and didn't really want to nurse. It was more like whimpering. She is sleeping in my arms right now, and I am really hopeful that she will sleep well tonight and we will all wake up much happier tomorrow.

If not, no biggie because my day tomorrow is wide open during the school day. I am really looking forward to a day at home.

I ordered a doll kit from Weir Dolls to make Natalie a doll. I also need to get started on Christmas gifts if I want to make many handmade gifts. I suppose I should make a list of what I want to get done.

And as always I am trying to not dwell on our move.

In Which Gwennie Gets Sick

Gwennie's fourth day of kindergarten and she was really excited to get to stay for nap care. We arrived at school, like we have every morning. She placed her lunch box and water bottle in their respective spots. She put on her hat and we went out to the play yard. She ran a little but kept telling me that she wanted to go back in the classroom because it was too hot.

It was hot, 95 at 8:00am? Yuck. I made her stay outside but she sat down at the table outside. She took off her hat. I kissed her sweaty head and told her goodbye. Then I went to Target to pick up a can opener. My mobile phone tucked into my purse (where I could not hear it) because I was wearing a skirt.

When I got home, there was a message. I assumed it was just another politician because in Arizona we have a mayoral election happening next week. They've really ramped up those calls, too. I hit play and heard "Hello, this is Ms. M from ___, your daughter Gwennie is feeling sick. She threw up and..." the message cut off. So I got out my mobile. Sure enough there was a message on there, too. Basically the same message. It didn't say "You need to come get her" it didn't say she was fine. I called the office and spoke to the secretary, who said she'd walk over to the kindergarten class and find out if I needed to come and pick her up. (The school does not have a loud speaker/intercom system. They do have phones in some of the classes but don't use them because they disrupt the class.)

A few minutes later I get a call from Ms. H. Gwennie had come in from outside and looked really pale. She told Ms. H that she felt sick and then threw up in the restroom. She took a rest on the floor while the other children had a snack but she was a little hungry. Ms. H asked her how she felt and she said she really didn't feel well and would like to go home. I said I would drive right over.

I picked her up, and upon walking into the classroom saw a sad sight. Gwennie, sitting at the table, her head down, surrounded by a class of children playing. She looked ok, but tired. She chatted a little on the way home, but told me that the class was too loud and it gave her a headache.

I called a friend to pick up Rhayn after school so I wouldn't have to drag a sick child to the school.

At home we watched Tangled on Netflix. Then some other shows. She didn't move at all. I gave her some bread, jell-o and lots of water. She got up to use the restroom and told me that she was dizzy. Then told me that it hurts to talk. This was followed by her falling asleep.

I took her temperature- 102.8.
And gave her more water.
And stroked her hot forehead with my cool, mama hand.
And looked at her sick little body, all covered in goosebumps and burning up.
Its been 2 hours, she is still burning up, still sleeping, and still sick.

I'm sure the rest of us will get sick now, too. Oh joy.

Of Boogers and Violins

Sweet baby girl is sick. I thought at first it was like an allergy thing, she was just a little stuffy. But now its gotten worse, and she's having trouble nursing. She threw up last night (NOT spit up, I know the difference, spit up doesn't come flying out and cover the chair like that) but that isn't uncommon for her. It makes me worry a bit. Of course this time, Googling projectile vomiting in a breastfed baby has calmed me. But still I plan on bringing it up at her next doctor visit. While I had planned to do today. I don't want to take her in feeling sick and expose her to even more illnesses.

I have a lot that I had planned to get done today. Instead I am holding her while she sleeps. I put her down, get 10 or 15 minutes of work done and she cries. Not just a little cry either. Then I have to hold her until she calms down and I can put her down again. Sigh. I am tired. She also was up much of the night fussing, well not awake fussing, sleep fussing.
Last night was Rhayn's spring concert. Rhayn looked beautiful for it (if only she would have smiled for me, she was mad that I made her stop to take a picture when her friends were calling her and we were running late as it was, 5 whole minutes late!). We had a great seat. Yaya was asleep through the pre-concert. But when they dimmed the lights and started, she cried. Her bottom lip popped out and she starting saying "wah wah wah" like a movie baby cry. She and I went out to the lobby and paced for a long time. I tried nursing her but no, she didn't want to do that. I was able to sneak in to the hall long enough to watch Rhayn's class perform "Shortnin' bread" on the violin, though they did 2 other songs. I didn't get to see those. The performance was split up into musical instruments and then singing. So after the 4th grade class played the violin they left the stage until the 5-8th grades had played their instruments. Then they came back on to sing. (The idea being that the put chairs out for the instrument part and stands for the singing part.) Gwennie was sitting with some friends, luckily its a small school and I know almost everyone and I knew she was safe.

Thanks to our good friend, S holding Yaya while Rhayn sang I was able to watch and also able to grab her at the end of their performance and leave. I wouldn't have minded staying, but with Little Miss Fusspot, my body was physically exhausted.

I have had to use the bulb syringe on poor little baby girl so many times in the last few days. I hate it, she hates it. But I am not willing to buy one of these- The Nose Frida (how gross does that look?) I really hope to get a nap this afternoon, and I am so very grateful that it is friday.

Last night was rough. At a little after nine I went upstairs to go to bed. Natalie was sleepy but not yet asleep, so I figured we would lay in bed and nurse while I read (I am re-reading Twilight if you must know.) So we settled in for that. Only within moments, Natalie was fussing at the breast. She was fighting it like crazy. I knew she wasn't starving, having spent a good portion of the last 1/2 hour downstairs nursing. I also wasn't having a serious letdown that could be bothering her. I had no idea what was wrong.

I burped her and lay her over my side in case her tummy was gassy. After a little while she dozed off. But then we repeated that- fuss, nurse, fuss, burp, sleep, fuss, for about an hour. At 11 I started walking around. I had turned on the television, given up on reading about Bella's love for Edward and his total perfection, and was zoning out on Rachel's infatuation with Joey (watching Friends season 9). I attempted to swaddle her with a Kiddopotamus swaddling blanket that my sister had given me, thinking it might help. She liked her bottom half in the blanket, in fact she is still happily swaddled in it now, but she did not like having her hands in it. She likes her hands up by her face.She pooped a couple of times and seemed to feel better after we went through 3 diapers. But was still fussy if we lay down on the bed. Finally I ended up dragging my lazyboy to the side of the tv, so I could watch it and rock her. I'm not sure when she finally fell asleep but I had also dozed off in the chair. I woke up a little after midnight, my neck hurting and she was sound asleep. I moved us both into the bed fingers crossed that she would remain sleeping and thankfully she did.

Around 3 am, she was still sleeping but Lily decided that she needed to go outside. I ignored her for a while, but she got progressively more annoying the longer I ignored her. She ran up and down the stairs, entering the bedroom whining around the bed, stopping on both sides to whine and whimper. Now you may ask why Will didn't get up with her. Honestly I don't know. But he doesn't sleep upstairs with me. Our bed is really uncomfortable and hurts his back (it is too soft even for me.) We don't currently have money to replace it, so for now, he sleeps on the couch. He is much better at ignoring Lily than I am. I don't know how, as she can be very persistent.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep. But I still popped up, wide awake, just after 6 am. Not fun.

At 7, Will woke up Rhayn. She looked awful when she came downstairs. I asked her what was wrong and she mentioned that she threw up, and her throat and head hurt. I took her temperature, which was fine. I had her sit at the table and try to eat some breakfast. She didn't feel any better after that. So I sent her back to bed. Usually when she is sick, she lays on the couch all day and watches tv. I don't know if I'll let her do that. I may have her stay in her room because if she starts feeling better right away and wants to come out, then she probably was faking sick (which she has tried a few times.)

Today is also "Army day", as in Will is leaving for duty for 9 days. I am trying not to feel anxious about that, but I can not help it. I am worried about dealing with all three girls on my own while he is gone. I am worried about driving Rhayn to school, getting groceries, making sure we are all fed, while he is gone.

Thankfully I was able to dodge the mastitis bullet, I did end up with a fever of 103.7 at its height but it broke early the next morning. I took a couple of hot baths with warm compresses on my breasts and by the next day (Wednesday) had no fever at all. Whew! The last thing I needed was to be that sick and dealing with everything around here. I have decided that I will take it easy, sure the house is a mess, but I will clean only enough to make it less stressful, until I feel 100%. I feel pretty good physically, my crotch is healing nicely, my 'roids are slowly going away. I am feeling hungry again and able to eat nearly everything. (Pass me a bean burrito, please!) Life is really looking up there.

Now to just make it through the next few weeks.

After writing my post yesterday we were taking temperatures all around. Rhayn took hers and we were all shocked to see 100.4 (I think) on the thermometer. I figured Gwennie had a fever, she felt warm and was acting under the weather. But Rhayn said she felt fine. Sure she'd complained a little of a headache.

At dinner you could see Gwennie's illness kicking in. She sat at the table but her head slowly drooped. Soon she was resting it on the table. I sat in our recliner and snuggled her for a bit after I was done eating. She slept on me for a while. Its been a while since we did that, just sat in the chair.

I took a bath and though it didn't make me feel better (or worse) I took Gwennie to bed when I got out at 7:30. She was burning up, her temperature climbed to 101.7 and her eyes were leaking. Her nose was running, too.

Rhayn still has an elevated temperature this morning, so we're lounging around the house crossing our fingers that this illness will be quick and fairly painless. Its a morning filled with PBS kids programs (then there isn't a fight about what to watch) lots of drinks and snuggle time.

Good morning Monday, how very nice to see you... not.

Yesterday the girls and I had a lovely morning and afternoon out. We went to a Gem and Mineral show and looked at rocks, and other beautiful things. I was tempted by fossilized fish in stone, but managed to walk away, because "Where would I put that?" We had a tasty lunch at Pita Jungle, sharing a plate of Mediterranean goodness. Gwennie loves humus and baba ganoush (or however you spell those things) as does Rhayn. Rhayn discovered tzatziki (much to my dismay, usually I don't have to share it!) and how good it tastes mixed with tabouli. We ate until we were comfortably full.

Then I took Rhayn to get a haircut. She has been asking for months for a pixie cut. I wanted her to keep it slightly longer until after her recital (which was Saturday) then promised her, that if she really still wanted that haircut, she could get one. So we did it. She looks cute, I apologize for the utter crap of the picture. I only took a few pictures yesterday, all are like this- craptacular. She was so happy with her haircut, giddy even. After lunch and the haircut we walked around the Gem and Mineral show a while longer. There were a lot of dogs for Gwennie to pet (she of course asked the owners before approaching the dogs, we've taught her well.) We decided to try a funnel cake, because they smelled really good. It was a little much for the three of us to eat together, but we managed.

At 3:30 we left and drove home. I was done for the day. Although I had hoped to come home and clean house a little (the kitchen, as usual, is a mess) but it didn't happen. I sat on the recliner and checked my email and Facebook, and then when I tried to get up I nearly fell over. I was dizzy. I spent the rest of the evening trying very hard to stay awake enough to be Mom. I even had Rhayn make dinner. She made cheese crisps, but used enough cheese in the 2 for 4 or more.

At 7 I sent Gwennie upstairs to get ready for bed. Rhayn and I hung out downstairs for a while. She told me that although she liked the funnel cake, it was not making her feel good, or maybe she had eaten too much. She then went in the bathroom for a very long time. I went upstairs and checked on Gwennie.

GROSSNESS COMING! (consider yourself warned)

Rhayn threw up. When she came out she told me, and I asked her to go take a bath, hoping she would feel better after that. (She didn't.) She had puked in a powder room (sink and toilet) or 1/2 bath, or whatever you call it, yet managed to puke all over the floor and not in the toilet. Gwennie almost always makes it to the toilet, maybe a little spray around the bowl, but nothing like Rhayn. Its nasty. And I wasn't feeling well myself. I gagged a few times, got the rug and towels into the washing machine and sat back down.

Yuck.

The bathroom still has a slight smell of puke in it this morning. I have no idea why, I thought I cleaned it really well. I must have missed some small puddle.

Rhayn is staying home from school today, she still isn't feeling 100%. It works out fine since I need to pick up Will at the airport at 10 do I won't have to make 2 trips out. I know if I made her get up and walk and eat she'd most likely be fine, but what if she isn't? Sigh, its hard being a parent sometimes.

What I should be doing...

I feel inspired to sew and create, but this lingering cold (and a migraine on top of it) is keeping me down today. I want to make a bunch more of the Dala horse ornaments that I made for the Winter Faire. I cut them out but haven't started embroidering them. I also have fabric waiting for a few Christmas gifts, including some fleece Gwennie helped me pick out today to make pajama pants for the girls (and myself I hope).

But instead of doing any of those things, I have been sitting here looking at some of my favorite inspirational blogs and shivering. I am looking at our dining room table which has temporarily become a craft station (covered in glitter and mess).

I have pictures to take of some things I have created lately. I have Christmas cards to get into the mail, because I finally picked them up at Costco today. I have laundry to do, as usual, but its cold and that means I probably won't use the clothesline. However it should be in the upper 60s tomorrow so I will do it then.

Oh, and Gwennie has a fever along with her stuffed up nose and the cold. Now its time for Rhayn to pick up the cold and be miserable.

In which I win "Mom of the Year", NOT.

There is a cold at our house. Yesterday Gwennie had an "itchy eye" that started having greenish yellow goopy stuff coming out of it. Will and I attempted to put eye drops in it, but she was afraid and wouldn't let us. (Have you ever tried to hold down a four year old? Its nearly impossible!)

It was Tuesday, which is ballet night for Rhayn. Its Gwennie's favorite night of the week because she gets to stay home with Daddy and watch a movie. She looks forward to this night, and asks if Rhayn has ballet all of the time. I thought this was a good threat/consequence for not letting us put the drops in. I thought there was no way she would be too afraid of the eye drops and put her night with Daddy in jeopardy. Her fear won and after about 10 minutes of trying to coax her out of her fear, Will said it was done, she made her choice and I took her with me.

As soon as we got to the dance studio I knew I had made a REALLY bad decision. Her eye was oozing and swollen. She said her head hurt and she was whimpering in her car seat. I didn't take her into the lobby until after most of the kids had cleared out, we walked around the Walmart grocery store for a while instead. Her head was down and she was telling me it hurt. Finally we went over to the dance studio and I picked a spot on the seating and told her that she had to stay in my lap. She was asleep in a few minutes.

Fast forward to home. Her eye glued itself shut with pus. It was about 8:30 (she fell asleep around 6ish) when she woke up screaming, and inconsolable because her eye won't work. I finally got her calmed down and a warm compress on her eye cleaned it up.


The above picture was this morning. She felt great, but her eye was puffy and swollen. The actual eye wasn't red at all. I had called the mom of the girl I watch to let her know that I thought Gwennie had pink eye last night. But it looks like she just got something in it. Hopefully it stays clear. It has so far today.

Night Terrors

Last night Will and I were watching The Proposal. The girls had gone to bed, although Gwennie wasn't happy about being "all alone upstairs". She was whimpering but finally fell asleep. I kept checking on her. At about 9:30 we went to bed, yes I know early, but we've found that we like mornings better than nights. (Plus, you know, the army has a part in that.)

I moved Gwennie into her bed, trying carefully not to wake her up. But she started crying and I lay with her to calm her down. She fell back asleep and I slid out of her bed and back into mine. It wasn't an hour later that she started crying again. This time she wasn't even the littlest bit awake. She was having a nightmare that bordered on a night terror. I brought her back to my bed. Rhayn used to have night terrors occasionally, she would whimper and cry but wouldn't really be awake. Nothing fully woke her from them either, and I would just sit by and make sure she couldn't hurt herself.

Gwennie had three or four of the nightmare/terrors last night. During one of them she was crying out (very clearly) "Mama, I can't dry horses! I can't dry horses! I can't dry horses!" ("Dry" is how she says "draw", meaning she can't draw them, its one of the things she whines about all of the time.) The other times she spoke weren't quite so clear. Maybe one or two words would be clear but nothing that I remembered in the morning.

I remember her crying, and looking at the clock, it was 3:30am, luckily that was the last time she did it.

At 7ish I came downstairs. At 8ish Gwennie woke up, crying. It was not a good start of the day. In fact she had a terrible day. Nothing made her happy and she was rotten. I even made her take a nap but she woke up not twenty minutes after I came downstairs (because I left her). She cried because she was alone, she cried because she didn't want to eat, Wonderpets wasn't loud enough and she was cold but she didn't want me to hold her. It was just a long day.

All the while Will was installing our new sink (picture post tomorrow) Gwennie was fussing and grumping and just being a miserable little brat. She was like that on Friday, too (although not to that extent). I think she is still getting over her flu, but maybe it is something else. I can hope that it'll get better soon because the separation anxiety and foul temper are not pleasant and its making us all miserable.

When 15 minutes changes your day's plans.

For nearly five days I battled a migraine. For five days, I gave in and took migraine medicine (in the form of generic Excedrin migraine.) On the first day it was on my right, throbbing painfully, making me feel queasy. On the second day it was still there. The third day it swooped slowly across to settle into my left temple by the fourth day. On Monday, day five, it lingered, just a hint of it. I chose to continue treating it well into the afternoon, taking a last does of the migraine medicine sometime around 8pm.

And then, I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned in bed until midnight when I slithered down stairs trying not to wake the sleeping dogs in their crates. I made up a bed on the couch before I turned on the television, and watched a few hours of Friends, before finally fading around two or so.

At 6, Will got up. He hits the button on the coffee grinder, and let the dogs out to pee. He turned on the morning news. I slowly woke up, wishing for more sleep. But decided to get up anyway. I brewed my cup of tea. At a few inutes before seven, I made breakfast for the girls, then went upstairs to wake them up.

In Rhayn's room, I said "Wake up!" and turned on the light, then gave Gwennie a quick kiss on the cheek, as Daddy usually brings her down when he is finished getting ready for work. I figure I will get them settled into breakfast before I head up to take a quick shower. I am watching Gwennie's friend today.

Rhayn hasn't come down, so I went back up and found her crying in her bed. "My head and throat hurts," she whimpered. I felt her forehead, it was warm. "Come down stairs and have some tea and I will take your temperature." We got downstairs and I took it, 100.3.

Will came down, but didn't have Gwennie. She didn't want to come down. He ran back up to say bye to her, and by the time he is down again, she was sitting at the top of the stairs, crying. I told her that she needed to get downstairs quickly because Daddy is leaving and I know she needs a hug before he goes. She scooted quickly down crying the whole time but got her hug and seemed a little happier.

By now its just after seven, I knew I had to call to let Gwennie's friend's mom know that I can't watch L, but I am not sure if its too early, and I had to call the school to let them know that Rhayn will not be at school.

Now its nearly eight and both girls are on the couch, snuggled under blankets with cups of rooibos tea near them. Gwennie said her throat still hurts. (She was complaining of that last night.) It is going to be a long day.

*Update, its nearly 9 now, and Rhayn has already vomited once. Sigh. She seems to be alright laying on the couch resting.

*Update again, its 2pm. They have both been sick and even with tylenol the fevers are hovering around 100. Is this the dreaded swine flu? Has H1N1 entered our home?

A Sick Day Without the Telly.

Rhayn is sick. I am keeping her home from school today. Not a big deal right? She can lay on the couch and watch movies while she rests. Normally this would be the case. Not today, she is actually grounded from the tv for a week. (She has lost her radio privileges, too.) It may seem harsh to have her grounded from both, but I am sick of being lied to.

I asked Rhayn to clean the trash out of the back seat of our truck. I was planning on trading vehicles with Will and driving our car so I wanted the girls' stuff out of the back seat. She went out for a few minutes then came back in. "Are you done, Rhayn?" "Yes" "Is the back seat area clean?" "Yes."

I went outside to check, because I have had to resort to that. She had only shoved the trash in the pocket in the back of the seat and under the seats. I had actually pulled all of those same items out from under the seats before I asked her to clean. Which means I knew exactly what was back there, she hadn't even brought one item in to throw away. I called her to come out so that I could show her what she had done wrong. I told her that because she lied to me there would be consequences. Then I walked into the house and discussed it with Will.

We decided to first take away her radio/cd player privileges for one week for not doing the job. Then we would ask her what she thought was a fair consequence for lying. First she said "Not going outside" then "Not playing with Gwennie." Um, yeah right, I am going to ground her from playing with her sister? Ha. Finally she said "The tv, not watching the tv." Perfect.

But today I am struggling with how to make her rest while she is sick without allowing her to watch tv or listen to her cd player (she likes audio books and is currently listening to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.)

In some ways I think that not allowing her to watch any tv for a week is really good for her, its beneficial, because instead of being able to turn on the tv Monday night, Will played piano with her, teaching her the first line of Good King Wencelas which is her current favorite song to sing. (Last year it was We Three Kings.) She mastered the first line and the second line is basically the same. Then I taught her the third line and she has been playing it over and over. I am not sure how to explain to her to play with more than one finger, but she is doing it and enjoying it.

It isn't even 9:30 and I am struggling with getting her to rest. I think it would have been ok to send her to school, but her cough is really wet and she had a low grade fever every night this week. She says her throat hurts, this morning saying it felt like it was very small and hard for her to swallow. I only hope that she is better, because I feel terrible for her. And I really want to go to Handwork tomorrow (as does Gwennie.)

This afternoon Will finally called. I was glad to hear his voice but had a really hard time hearing him. You see, for the past 2 weeks he has been on bed rest due to a serious ear infection, during which time he lost his voice. He probably hadn't been feeling himself for weeks before that. I don't know how much of this he cares for me to share, so we'll just say that he told me it was the sickest he has ever been. And he still isn't 100% healed from it, he only recently got his voice back.

I could barely hear him, like I said before. So I kept having to ask him to repeat himself. I am sure that was painful. I felt awful saying "What was that?" "Could you repeat that?" over and over. I mean it could not have felt good to speak. But I would have sat there on the phone with him for hours, because it was the closest I have been able to feel to him for a month.

He finally said he was going to go, and all I wanted to do was cry. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable, but I didn't want him to get off of the phone either. I wish I could reach out to him, to make it better. But I know I can't do anything. I can't make these last months any easier, I can't soothe him with means that work when he is home. I can't do anything. It really bothers me. It wasn't a pleasant end to the conversation, it left me feeling sad and lonely and lost. Hopefully next time we speak, it will be better. But until then, I will try to be content with emails, because what else can I do?

Day 3

Day three of Gwennie's illness.

She is perfectly fine during the day, I mean aside from the fever. But as soon as the sun sets her temperature starts to soar, it peaked last night around 103.5.

She spends the night uncomfortable, so much so that ibuprofen doesn't seem to help. She tosses and turns and wakes up crying all night long. Her hot body presses next to mine then rolls violently to the other side of the bed. She pulls the blanket on, crying about being cold and then throws it off covered in sweat. She wakes, and in the saddest voice, barely croaking out, asks for water.

But the sun has risen two days in a row and she wakes up bright and happy. This morning, she snuggled me and told me she loved me, while scratching my back.

I am so afraid that I will get this. So afraid that the sore throat I have is going to turn into this virus. I am doing everything I can to avoid it. The last thing I want is to spend another week stuck at home with illness. My poor kids would be so very bored.

Rhayn seems better. She went for twelve hours or more without a fever, but we went out for a little while today and when we got home, her temperature was up to 100.3 again. She still has this really nasty sounding cough though. It sounds productive at least.