First Day

You can see Mopey McMopesalot hanging out near the house. She was scared and didn't want me to take a picture of her. But eventually she came down and smiled for me.

Today the girls started school.

Yesterday we went to the school to enroll them. We walked in and started talking to the secretaries who gave us packets to fill out. Rhayn's teacher Mrs. K came out and showed Rhayn her class while the other 5th graders were in specials. There are only two 5th grade classes (I think only two classes per grade, which is nice).

Gwennie sat by me while I filled out paper work and looked terrified. She seemed so small sitting there and I know she was worried about this. Eventually Gwen's teacher came out and introduced herself (and for the life of me I can't remember her name, geesh!) She showed Gwennie to her classroom and they talked for a few moments. I told her that Gwennie had been at a different kind of school and didn't know all of her letters or numbers yet.

Then we left and went home for lunch.

Last night Gwennie had a really hard time sleeping. She was worried about school, about having to do "hard work" to catch up. She was worried about making friends. Rhayn seemed less worried and more easy going about it all.

This morning I could tell that Gwennie was still tired and feeling stress. She was in a horrible mood. But we ate breakfast, and got ready for school. We took some pictures and loaded up into the Mazda.

At the school, you could see where the kids were being dropped off. We parked and I walked the girls in to the lobby. The secretary walked us back to their classrooms and explained that normally they will go onto the playground before class starts. Gwennie's teacher showed her where to put her backpack (that we had had to dig out of a box because she "needed one for school"). Then I gave her a hug, told her to have a good day and walked with Rhayn to her class. Rhayn's teacher was there as were a few girls. The girls introduced themselves to Rhayn. I gave her a hug, told her to have a good day and left.

I had to stop at the main desk on the way out to pay for their lunches. Today they are having cheese pizza sticks and both were excited about cafeteria food. Then I left. After school they will ride the bus home. Luckily they have each other, and since it is a small school the bus driver will get to know them and know where they live.

Also Thursdays are 3/4 days- they get out of school at 1:45. They should have about a 1/2 hour bus ride. I need to meet them at the drop off to meet the bus driver and to let him know it is alright for Gwennie to get off the bus even if I am not there.

So far this has been a good experience for us all. And I can not wait for them to get home and tell me about their day!

Just a Quickie

Natalie is on the mend from her illness. Today she is covered in a small rash. I took her to the doctor and they believe its just a virus and that her vaccine reactions were really the virus and not the vaccine (or compounded by the virus). She seems to be feeling quite a lot better today.

Rhayn was sick last night, and this morning. She had to stay home from school with her puke bowl and is having a "Harry Potter-a-thon" while

Gwennie is at school. I am missing the festivities because I am here with sickies.

I am not yet sure what we are doing to trick or treating tonight. We had a plan, and as long as Rhayn feels somewhat better we'll execute as planned. My fingers are crossed that she does, because I bought her a costume... I want to see her wear it!

First Day of School, ever.

Today Gwennie started kindergarten. She was so nervous last night and excited at the same time.

Rhayn helped her pick just the right top to go with her new cheetah skirt. We got to the school at 8, because Rhayn wanted to be early so that she could be in the back row this year. (We'll see if she is after school.) I made them stop to take a picture, and Gwennie wanted it to be by the big tree.After I forced Rhayn to pose with her little sister, we started walking to class. I wanted Gwennie's picture by the welcome sign, so Rhayn went on ahead.

Gwennie held my hand while we walked to her classroom. When we arrived the student couldn't go in yet, so we stood and waited. With the other children.

When Ms. H came out and welcomed her students. You could feel her fear about this. But as soon as she came into the classroom and put her stuff away she started to relax.

We walked around the play yard and she took her turn on the swings. We saw our friend A feeding and watering the chickens.
Gwennie felt hot so we went back inside. She rested for a few minutes and the classroom helper, Ms. D asked if anyone wanted to help in the kitchen. Gwennie raised her hand and offered to help. I wonder if its easier for her to be around adults since she has spent so much of her life with me? Anyway she seemed to enjoy helping Ms. D.

Then came circle time, with morning verse. Which on the first day of school is followed by the Rose Ceremony. Gwennie held hands with her class as they walked over. She sat near one of her classmates and they whispered secrets through the introductions.
After the rose ceremony, she walked back to her classroom. Ms. D told me that she will be the kitchen helper for the day. I gave her a quick kiss and said goodbye. I held my tears as I walked away.Now I am sitting at my oh-so-quiet house, in another hour I will leave to pick her up. And I can not wait to hear about how her day went.

Last night I went to bed and looked over at Gwennie in her twin bed, side-carred to mine. Her face sweetly relaxed with sleep. When I put her to bed she was so wound up bouncing and flipping and excited about school.

But she fell asleep easily. And I lovingly watched her sleep for a moment and thought of her day to come.

She is starting school in the morning, I thought and couldn't believe how big she's gotten. I feel like I should have done more to celebrate this day.

But its here and in a few hours she'll be in her class, with her new teachers and her new friends.

And we are all excited about it!

Silent Sunday- Upcycled Slippers

For Gwennie, for school.

First Day of school skirt

On Tuesday we went shopping. Rhayn wanted a skirt for the first day of school. She saw lots of them that she liked. But they were all too short. She's 10, she's not 17. She wanted a Catholic school girl, plaid skirt. She tried on a few others that weren't plaid, but we never found any that she loved and I was ok with.
After quite a few stores I told her that we could sew one for her easily. I had quite a bit of fabric for her to choose from but she didn't love any of it.
Then I thought of a dress I had in the "giveaway bin". I brought that down and asked her if she liked it and if so I showed her how we could modify it, from a dress to a top and skirt. She really liked that idea.
We figured out the length of the skirt and cut it. Then I took a gray t-shirt that I didn't wear any more and sewed a yoga-style waistband. The waistband didn't hold up the skirt and I had to add elastic.
But she is quite pleased with the outcome and it goes nicely with one of the tops she picked out.

You will have to wait for the first day of school for a picture of the outfit.

We have only a few days left before school starts. Although I am totally looking forward to them going, I am also feeling sad and nostalgic. .

Rhayn is going into 5th grade. I clearly remember my own 5th grade year. I started noticing boys in that grade. In fact I recall this one boy- Ray- who was always so nice to me. But I also recall having a sleepover at my best friend's house and for fun we recorded ourselves farting into her cassette player. Over and over again. Classy, eh?

I can't believe she's come so far from this little girl who started Kindergarten 5 years ago (and just because- here is Gwennie 5 years ago!)

Gwennie will be in kindergarten. At this school they go to, its a half day and all play. She is going to have so much fun while she transitions away from being home with me. She has her supplies ready, rubber boots for gardening, slippers to wear in the classroom, a sun hat for outside play, and her first day outfit. She wants to be girly for school. I can not wait to take her first day of school picture!

And I will get to have some time alone with Natalie and coffee dates once a week with my friends.

I need to just take deep breaths and try to live in the moment... because its all going by so fast.

Semi-silent Sunday

Apparently I have been busy this week. I have wanted to sit down and post something, there is just never time.I did manage to make a costume for Rhayn today. She is going to be Muninn, Odin's memory in raven form. In 4th grade at her school they have studied Norse mythology. (Remember last year it was the Old Testament.)

Gratitude Mondays

I'm trying to be grateful, I really am. I know that feeling sick is a good thing, but darn it I am emotionally exhausted from it and having to eat every. hour. all. day. long. I have had some days when the constant queasies abate for a short time. Then they come back, full force. I had a day that only involve gagging and no actual puking. Alas it didn't last and has been followed by days with an average of 4 sessions.

But I digress, and this week I am thankful for

• week 9 of pregnancy, getting closer to the second trimester, looking forward to feeling the baby move and morning sickness really going away.
  
• school starts this week. Rhayn can not wait. She is so excited. I, on the other hand, am not excited because this means I have to get my sick butt up every morning and drive her to school. Not looking forward to the next few weeks of that.
• cheesecake. Its good stuff, so what if I've eaten like 4 slices in the past few days?
• silly, vivid pregnancy dreams. Last night I was holding the hand of a little baby and trying to find cloth diapers. I had a bag full of newborn sized pampers but I wanted to use the cloth diapers that were buried in the bottom of the diaper bag. I also kept telling people the baby was a boy, but they kept telling me she was a girl.
  

babble on

Summer is flying by. I have yet to don my bathing suit, too. Rhayn is in week 2 of swim lessons, Gwennie starts hers next week.

My plan to homeschool this summer is going... so-so. Rhayn hates it. I make her do a few pages of homework every day but its hard for her. She fights me and gives up easily. I have been making her do jumping jacks when she starts to give up. I feel mean but if this is how she acts in class I feel badly for Mr. T, her teacher. (She says she keeps trying at school and doesn't give up as easily. I want to believe her.) Gwennie has zipped through numbers and is actually remembering some of them. She has been making numbers with clothespins which is pretty cute. She also points out number when she sees them, "Look Mommy! A two!"

I have been reading voraciously, but its only because I found an easy to read series by the author of the Sookie Stackhouse series. I can not seem to put them down until the book is done. I am 1/2 way through the 4th book (I think its the last in the series, too.) Then I need to find more books. She has an additional series all with Shakespeare in the title, I think that will be next.

There isn't much going on in our life. We're attempting to plan a vacation but it seems to keep getting put off. I want to see my Aunt LVH while she is down (visiting from Alaska!) so hopefully we'll get to this week.

I'm struggling to get used to typing on the laptop keyboard (I have to reread my posts to check for mistakes more than I used to). Its unpleasant, I like the ergonomical keyboards so much better. The part of my plan to make the computer undesirable to be on has helped. I also love being able to turn. it. off. I got a lot more done yesterday because it was off. When I finish this post I will turn it off, too.

Semi-silent Sunday

Gwennie's favorite tree at Rhayn's school. Its an orange tree.

Rhayn and her best friend singing "Samson and Delilah"* at the end of their classes' performance of Samson and Delilah. (Her best friend was Delilah's dad, she was a Philistine in a chorus of women.)

The cactus that is blooming is a bristle-cone cactus, or what we lovingly refer to as the poop cactus. It was taken from my dad's house and dropped in front of mine where it has flourished, and made my dad jealous as this is the second year it bloomed. This year we have seven separate blooms over the course of a week. You can see the one that bloomed a few days after these in the upper left corner.

*Isn't it hilarious that they sang a Grateful Dead song? Here is a great version by Shirley Manson of Garbage. I love her voice.

Rhythm

A few weeks ago I wrote this post about simplifying my life. That day I sat down and wrote out all of the things that I want to accomplish every day, as well as the weekly and monthly things I want to do. I also wrote out a chore list for Rhayn so that every day she knows what is expected of her. On her list I included showers every few days, because in the hustle and bustle of the week she was getting into a habit of showering only on Tuesdays (because her feet smelled so bad that I didn't want her to be the stinky kid in her ballet class!)

Here is my daily list-

General-
Make bed
Feed pets
Take vitamins
Read to/ with children
Kitchen-
Clear/ Wipe counter tops and stove top
Empty trash
Load/ Run/ Empty dishwasher
Clean kitchen sink
Sweep floor
Plan/ Cook dinner

I need to add exercise to this list. I am also not great at sweeping the kitchen floor daily. But I am working on that.

The weekly list-

Sunday-
Family Time!
Plan meals for the week
Make grocery list

Monday-
Run errands
Grocery Store
Dust downstairs

Tuesday-
Laundry
Clean bathrooms
(Mirrors, counters, toilets, shower/bathtub)
Mop kitchen
Vacuum downstairs
Rhayn- ballet

Wednesday-
Pick up toy room
Vacuum upstairs
Dust upstairs
Clean up computer desk

Thursday-
Clean litter boxes
Change bedsheets
Change hand towels
Wash sheets and towels
Clean bedrooms

Friday-
Wash windows, especially back door
Sweep back patio

Saturday-
Do a quick tidy up of whole house
Outside chores/weeding
Use up leftovers

No, I haven't stuck to it exactly. Example would be Saturday morning. We haven't done a quick outside pick up, its been done on Sunday because of issues the last few Saturdays. I am working on staying on top of all of these things, and slowly adding to the list. If I miss a day its not such a big deal because I know what I need to do to catch up. So far its working really well.

This is our last full week of Rhayn's school. She has one full day and 2 half days next week then we are done. After that we are going to add an hour of homeschooling during the day for the summer. I need her to keep working on reading and math so she doesn't lose where she is. She has been doing so well since we started working with her more. I want to keep that going. I also want to work on her penmanship. The class is writing in cursive but she doesn't quite get how the letters flow together. (So if anyone has good handwriting resources, please share!)

Not the Monster anymore.

To help Gwennie sleep, Rhayn came up with the story of "the Monster". I know I wrote about it but I can't find that post (it happens when you have over a thousand posts.) I think that Rhayn got tired of talking about "the monster" so last night she made this note. She also crocheted a necklace and a puppet for Gwennie. She should have been sleeping, I know that. I thought she was.

I wonder if she knows the tooth fairy and Santa aren't real, since she made this up all on her own. It makes me a little bit sad that she is getting old enough to lose the magic of the world. It makes me sad when I think about kids never having that magic in their lives.

Will and I have discussed how he feels like we are lying to the kids when we talk about Santa. To me, especially since I subscribe to much of the Waldorf philosophy, I feel that fairy tales and the belief in magic are good for a child's development.

When Rhayn was young we watched television constantly, and there was no spirituality in our lives. When she began attending the school she goes to, I watched the joy the children had, how easily they played whatever suited them at the moment and how imaginative their play was. It was easy, especially in kindergarten, to pick out which children watched television at home by their play. The story lines of the play concentrated around movies they had seen. Rhayn was in that category.

Gwennie doesn't watch nearly the amount the television that Rhayn did, and I love her imaginative play. Even Rhayn's imagination has blossomed since we stopped watching the television as much (and being more conscious of what they watch.) And it shows in places like this:

Dear Rhaynnon Gwen
I am not a monster as you think.
I am a fairy. My name is Anna.
And I look like this-->
Love the Fairy Anna

I am in no way saying the television is bad. It isn't we enjoy PBS and have a very active Netflix account. I am only saying that Rhayn watched way too much television when she was in her early formative years.

Clean it up.

I was at Rhayn's school yesterday, watching as she helped muck out the animal yard. The parents were told to supervise, but not to help. (Sweet!) I ended up taking pictures of the animals, because that is what I do.

Towards the end of the time I went over to the restroom so Gwennie could wash her hands and have a snack. The 8th grade class was in the restrooms washing their hands after their pottery class. They left the restroom a disaster. I was appalled by the mess. Seriously there was clay on every surface including the door handle.

It made me wonder if the school or parents are teaching the children any respect for the property. We spend a lot of our time teaching our children to respect the earth, use less, conserve, compost. Yet every day I walk out on the school yard there is trash on it. There are granola bar wrappers and hats left out.

Rhayn has been taught a little about littering, we went hiking not too long ago and she and her cousin were picking up trash along the way. We are trying to teach her to respect the earth in that manner. Whenever we see the trash on the play yard we pick it up. Its courteous. They also need to learn to clean up after themselves, I shouldn't judge, but I doubt any of the 8th graders in the restroom ever have to pick up their own messes at home. I know that when I was that age, I did NOT leave a huge mud mess in a bathroom, I would have at least wiped the door handle and faucet handle off.

At the muck out there were kids complaining about how much they didn't want to be there, and how they don't like cleaning up poop, but they all enjoy the goats, sheep and Jonic the pig.

I am just thankful that my children are able to go to a school that has animals and gardens. I love that they are surrounded by nature.

Gwennie is terrified of the white goose, she was helping feed them one morning and the white lady kept trying to get the food from Gwennie faster than Gwennie could drop it. She cried and screamed about her for hours.

I like to look at the sheep.

This is a nice goat, and look at his face! How sweet is he?

Pyramids

Rhayn ready for her presentation this morning.

Today Rhayn has her very first presentation at school. In third grade they learn about shelters and building. The teacher asked them all to pick a structure and build it, then give a short (1-5 minute) presentation on it.

Rhayn chose a pyramid. We discussed different ways to make it. We picked Styrofoam blocks (because of ease) and hot glue. She was also able to use a sphinx statue that Will had been given.

Last night Will sat down with her and helped her plan out her presentation since that is his expertise. (That is part of his job with the mobile public affairs detachment with the National Guard.) I took a bath while they worked and when I came downstairs they had set up a little show. She practiced her speech and composure. It was so cute, to see. Then we filmed it so she could watch it (I tried to upload it but after 30 minutes it just wasn't happening.) After that she took a shower, repeating her presentation over and over. She picked her outfit and was ready to go to bed. She was nervous but excited this morning when I took her to school.

I have a headache, its day two of this lovely headache. I can also tell that my period is coming. I was such a beast yesterday morning, I broke a hole in the wall near our bathroom. (The door didn't have one of those stoppers, so when I pushed it open forcefully it went right into the wall. Whoops.) Since then I have been medicated enough to be calm, and also yelling hurts my head. No, its not the worst migraine I have ever had. In fact, its a fairly mild one. But still, it lingers and that bugs me.

Rhayn had a 4 day weekend last weekend because of the dentist. This weekend its because of Martin Luther King Jr. Day on Monday. I enjoyed having her home. I have spent a lot of time lately wishing she was homeschooled so that I wouldn't have to get up and drive so much. Alternatively, of course, I wish the school closest to us was worth going to. Neither of these is the case, and I don't know if I would be a good homeschooling mom (nor do I think Will would be down with that idea.)

Then the girls fight (as they are at this very moment) and I remember why I am glad when Rhayn leaves for the day to learn. They get along most of the time, but not always. They especially do not get along in the afternoon of a busy day like today.

Halloween Festivities at School

At Rhayn's school for Halloween, they carve pumpkins, then everyone puts on their costume and they walk around the school so that everyone may see. As per usual, I stayed to help, even though my voice is sort of missing. Yesterday I could hardly talk at all, today is better but I still sound like I smoked a pack of cigarettes then screamed all night at a concert.

But back to the pumpkin carving. Gwennie brought her pumpkin to carve, she did a big whopping nothing to help, but I ended up putting the guts out and everything. It looks like she is helping in this picture, but really that is all she did, pull the top out, and didn't want to get her rainbow sleeves dirty.


Rhayn has a very loose tooth, and was too busy trying to wiggle it to smile for me. This is the best of a bunch of awful pictures of her holding her pumpkin. This was the first year she carved it almost 100% by herself. I had to help just a little in getting the top off because it was quite a thick pumpkin.


For the "parade" Rhayn dressed up like a vampire cat, however for Halloween she will be Hermione Granger.


Gwennie was a tiger kitty "Rawr!" and had to have rainbow stripes to walk in the parade with the big kids.

blah blah blah blah

Blah blah blah...

Really that is what I feel like right now. I have so much on my mind. Some of it I don't want to share. Well, maybe I do, but I feel like it needs to be worked out in my head first. Or maybe in my handwritten journal. Yes, I have one of those, I keep it by my bed so that I may write in it at night when I have thoughts bouncing in my head and keeping me awake.

I spent yet another day reading the Southern Vampire Mysteries. I finished another book (#6). I just can't seem to put them down. I actually have made myself NOT start the next book so that I could talk to Rhayn about something that had happened at school. I learned of it the other day, but had been so lost in Louisiana that I could not step into Mom-mode.

Rhayn has a really good friend, and this week they were really not playing together in the mornings. We even had a playdate with her and a couple of other kids on Thursday. We all went swimming. Rhayn kind of kept to herself the whole time. I didn't think much of it, since she has understandably been a little sad this week. I really don't blame her for keeping to herself, she also has a lot on her mind. On Friday this friend's mom asked me if I knew what had happened. I didn't. It made me feel like a bad mom, for not even realizing that my child was sad about something else (aside form Daddy not being home).

I swore I would talk to her. But I didn't on Saturday, it just slipped my mind (while I was lost in LA.) Then she stayed the night at another friend's house. I wanted to talk to her when we picked her up, but she was not in a pleasant state of mind. She was a mess actually from staying up too late. So I waited until after dinner, then sat down with her and talked about it. It turns out she had made a joke or said something about this friend's pet who had to be put down. As she put it "I reminded her of R."
To which I responded, "Remember Beckham? What if someone kept bringing him up? How would you feel? Or what if they were reminding you of Daddy? Would that make you feel happy?"
You could see her face fall. "No," she responded in a very small voice. She realized what she had done, and how much it had most likely hurt her friend. She also told me that by the end of Friday they were friends again.

Being a mom is hard work, especially when you are in a bad place yourself.

3rd Grader

Wednesday was Rhayn's first day of school. She was glad to get back to her friends. Especially after this past weekend, I was glad for her to be back.

She didn't have much to say about her first day and I am not feeling well (stomach issues) but I wanted to post her first day back picture.

Writing Diarrhea

I have a desire to write, but nothing to write about. As one of the blogs I regularly read pointed out, she often writes that she has nothing to say but follows it up with eight to ten paragraphs of banter. I guess that would be called a freewrite. Remember those in school? We often had to keep journals in my English classes, and no doubt at one point every teacher would give us freewrite day. We were given, say, twenty minutes to just write whatever was on our minds.

I remember one teacher I had, Mrs. W., actually read and commented on everything I wrote. I was in her Honors class, so I always wondered if she read and commented on every single journal. Also, I wrote then, like I do now. I didn't hold back and that teacher knew things about me that I didn't share with any of my friends. I trusted her, and was thankful that she never shared my innermost dilemmas and thoughts with the counselor or anyone else. I am not saying that I wrote about bombs at school, or going on a shooting spree at school, because I was completely happy with my school situation. No, I wrote about feelings, deep ones, I wrote about my friends and what I really thought about them. I believe I even wrote about sex in my school journal.

I wish I still had those journals. I may, they may be hidden away in some box somewhere. Alas, I have no idea where they are. I have a few composition books from my later teen years and early twenties. I still write in one that I keep by my bed. Sometimes my mind needs to purge itself of all of these disconnected thoughts. Occasionally its like having word diarrhea and needing to sit on the toilet that is my journal. And almost always those thoughts are ones I will forever keep to myself.