I have a memory, it pops up whenever we break open a fresh coconut.
Its vague, more of a snapshot of a moment frozen forever in time.
And its my grandpa.Cracking open a coconut for his grandkids.
Because he loved us.

Sometimes

Sometimes you have to brave the hottest day of the year (so far) and get out of the house... just because.
And sometimes you need to make a pizza kitty, just because you can.

Feed me.

All I think about is food. I remember the insatiable nursing a newborn hunger, so this isn't a surprise at all for me. During this pregnancy I was rarely hungry. I craved very few thing including sauteed mushrooms, bacon and orange chicken, though not together thankfully!

But now? I can not stop thinking of food. I want to eat. Right now I wish I had a pumpkin pie loaded with whipped cream. I want it enough I am seriously considering making it. I know it would go over well. I only wish I had cheater dough (making pie crust is a pain). I also don't have any whipped cream (or whipping cream). But that is easily remedied. Then again, there are a million recipes that I would gladly make, and eat, and almost all of them are desserts. Mmm, dessert.

On the subject of nursing. OW! I do not remember it hurting for Gwennie to latch on. I wonder if Natalie is latching too shallowly? It only hurts for about 5 seconds, and then it will hurt a little when my milk lets down (on both sides, right before the side she is not nursing from starts to pour milk.) Gwennie nursed for nearly 3 years, there is no way I would have made it that long if it hurt every time she latched on. So I wonder how long will it hurt? Or is it just that Natalie is a different kind of nurser?

Natalie is sleeping right now. She usually takes a couple of decent naps during the day. I was counting on her morning one and started going through Gwennie's clothes. Only Natalie did not cooperate. In fact she only slept about 45 minutes before she woke up and fussed and wanted to nurse again. She has been asleep since about 1pm, but I also laid with her and napped. I am attempting to make myself nap with her after lunch, because I was feeling so tired all of the time.

Drooling Dog

Oh please let me have the burger... please.

Can't you see how much I want that bite of hamburger?
In the end she did get the bite of hamburger.

Weekly Gratitude

This week I am grateful for

~3ish weeks to go. That is right, I am 37 weeks along. This baby could come any time (but please let them wait until the 10th-ish because of Rhayn's birthday being this weekend!)
~Rhayn. She will turn 10 on Sunday. Where has the time gone? I mean it seems she was just born and she'll be 10!? already. Sigh.
~nuts. We have some mixed nuts that sit out on the counter (or table). The girls love to crack and eat them. I love that, even though it means I am sweeping more often. (Hazelnut shells hurt when you step on them!)
~fruit (or berries). I love fruit, and this time of year is a great time to buy it. I love how inexpensive strawberries and mangos are right now. We've eaten a lot of mangos, since it is Gwennie's favorite fruit of the moment. I enjoy slicing up a mango and watching Gwennie eat it, the juice dripping down her hands and face. Sticky and messy but so much fun.

Fire-Roasted Tomato Soup

Creamy Fire-Roasted Tomato soup
adapted from America’s Test Kitchen “Cream of Tomato Soup”

Serves: 4-6 Prep Time: 10 minutes Total Time: 45 Minutes

3 T butter
1 smallish onion- diced finely
1 (14.5 oz) can of fire roasted diced tomato Today I used fire-roasted with garlic. Mmm
1 (14.5 oz or 28 oz) can of diced tomato
1 T tomato paste (I use Amore double concentrated)
2 T flour
1 cup chicken broth
½ cup of heavy cream (if you use half and half or milk don't simmer at the end)

1. Melt butter in dutch oven or whatever pan use are using.

2. Add onions, cans of tomato with the juice drained, (reserving it for later,) and tomato paste. If you wanted to add a little brown sugar to this to up the sweetness 1 T could be added now.

3. Cook, stirring occasionally for 10-15 minutes, until the onion and tomato are starting to caramelize. It will caramelize better with the brown sugar, but I prefer it without.

4. Stir in the flour and cook for 1 minute. Slowly stir in broth and reserved tomato juice.

5. Bring to a simmer, cover and cook for 10 more minutes. Or longer if you walked away and did something else, like wrote a blog post.

6. Puree the soup. I use an immersion blender, but you could puree it in a normal blender or food-processor (just do it in a couple of batches). If you were planning to make this soup for later, stop here. Freeze or store in refrigerator until ready for use. Reheat over low and continue on with recipe.

7. Slowly add the cream. Bring to a simmer and immediately remove from heat.

Season with salt, pepper, cayenne or anything else that strikes your fancy (to taste) and serve.

*I know this recipe takes longer than opening up a can of Cambell's, but it is so worth it. You could probably sneak some other veggies in there if you wanted. Mix it up, try it with 2 cans of fire-roasted tomato or use regular diced. Try it with Rotel for a spicy southwestern soup, or maybe add some basil and Parmesan cheese at that end. The sky is the limit! Enjoy!

Gratitude with Food

What I am eating, right now. I love potatoes!

Its no secret that I love food. Thankfully I was blessed with an awesome metabolism that thus far has kept me from being gaining weight. I don't usually have to ability to eat a huge meal at once. I eat about as much as Rhayn on a good day (not helped by the baby pressing my innards upwards!)

Yesterday we had a mini-cook-a-thon. Now mind you, this still required a lot of prep work and even though we only planned 6 meals, we ended up making 7 and were there from 9am until 3pm working hard. I do prefer freshly cooked meals to the frozen ones, but you have no idea how many times those meals have saved me. Especially while I was in the throws of morning sickness. Our meal planning guru, D found a really good deal on fresh chicken breast (boneless/skinless) and so we worked around that delivery and chicken dishes.

We made baja chicken enchiladas, parmesean chicken, arroz con pollo (though the arroz or rice part will be cooked separately), white chicken chili, chicken pot pies, stuffed shells (ok no chicken here) and meat sauce (also no chicken, but the meat was also on sale and it doesn't take very long to make.)

We are planning a second mini-cook-a-thon in a few weeks to make some other dishes. I think that plan is beef and barley soup, Jessica's soup (this is one of my favorites even though it has sausage in it), sloppy joes, a couple of cookie doughs and a few other dishes. This should really come in handy for the month after little babykins comes.

I am so thankful for the women who invited me along 2 years ago for that first big cook-a-thon. I have enjoyed their company and am always glad to spend the time with them, getting to know them, and their sweet children. Its been fun watching bellies grow and babies grow.

Speaking of babykins, I am 32 weeks along! That is 8 months. 8! EIGHT! That puts me at 2 months to go, 8ish weeks. I am pretty well freaked out about it now. I feel like this little has no room already, there are feet pushing out both sides. Baby will kick back when I push his/her foot and its fun to do. I got my birth kit in the mail yesterday. I haven't opened it yet, but I know pretty much what is in there. Its nothing exciting (besides the itty bitty hat that will grace this babykin's head soon.) I have started gathering the other things on the supply list, like hydrogen peroxide (takes blood out of carpet and clothes, seriously, try it!). I am still having a hard time realizing that this is all real, and that in just a short amount of time, I will be holding and nursing a new family member.

The right weather for baking (is not here today.)

Notice the knife and the chunk of caramel that is missing? Mmm it was good.

I am thankful for the clouds today. They are helping a little to make it feel just a tad bit more like the Christmas season. Honestly its been hot lately, hot for Arizona in December, meaning in the 70s. First of all its making me grumpy. Second, I don't want to bake at all so that has been a struggle. Sure I could just not make caramels and cookies. But I want those things. I bought the ingredients to make those things.

Its in no way cold outside. I laugh bitterly whenever I hear "Baby its cold outside". I really want some snow. Or at least weather that isn't in the 70s. I have the house opened up, windows open to let in the lovely air. But that doesn't feel right.

I forced myself to make sea salt caramels today. I also made soft pretzels. Next up is sugar cookies and then I am going to try licorice caramels. My mom made licorice caramels one year for Christmas and I have thought of them every single Christmas since. Notice that I haven't whined about them to her. Few people in my family even like black licorice, but my mom does, I do and so does Will. I think Gwennie does as well. (Not sure if I am missing someone who likes it.)

I had a bread machine failure this morning and that didn't help my Christmas-y mood. I moped about it for a bit but then realized it was silly to be mad about it. These things happen. It looks like the caramels worked like they should and I am having the hardest time not cutting chunks off of the cooling caramels.

I think I shall take a short break and lay on the couch, I feel a nap coming on and its hard to deny naps when you are nearly seven months pregnant. Yawn.

Seething

Ugh... I keep thinking that "I will feel better if..." but none of the things I have tried have worked. I slept awfully last night, Rhayn doesn't feel well. She woke up at 2 am and climbed in bed with me because her head and stomach hurt. It took me a long time to fall back to sleep after that. Then I awoke every few hours because I needed to pee.

Today I feel like I am going to lose it. By it, I mean my sanity. I want to go to bed, just to be alone. I had things I wanted to accomplish this afternoon, and I didn't do any of it. I did however make a pumpkin pie and some salsa. I meant to get the deep freezer cleaned out a little in anticipation of tomorrow's cook-a-thon. I want it to be defrosted, too, but that is so NOT happening.

Also, today was handwork and I love hanging out with most of those ladies, but there is one that was just on my very last nerve today. I had to stop myself from saying anything snarky/rude to her. (See Amanda, I have turned into a grumpy pregnant woman! I hate it.) She kept saying things that normally roll off my back but today it was like little jabs at me, over and over. At least she didn't once talk about how I "don't even look pregnant at all." Because I was not going to take that sitting down. (Ha ha, I would I am not big on confrontation, but I would have seethed in my chair while sewing the doll head I was working on.) I get that by 18 weeks her belly was huge, but like my awesome cousin, Hairball, she is shorter and there is nowhere for her uterus to go but out. I am tall, and I have a long torso, it takes longer for me to show. OK?!

I hope that I feel better after I sleep tonight. I don't want to be mean to the wonderful ladies at the cook-a-thon. I am so grateful that they have included me in their little group.

Ugh, Rhayn just asked me "What's for dinner?" and I have to hold my tongue to avoid biting her head off about the simple question. I do not like myself very much at this moment. So excuse me whilst I slap myself into a better mood.

Want a 5 year old?

Yesterday Gwennie was practically up my butt all day. Also? I have turned into a really grumpy person lately. Possibly it all boils down to food. I still don't want to eat. I struggle to feed myself and my family all of the time. It sucks.

Back to Gwennie... I need a break from her. Only money is tight (read as- there is none) so going to the movies alone isn't an option. As long as I am at home, she. is. right. there. Yes, I love her with all of my heart, but a mama needs a break once in a while. (Preferably more than one hour, k?) Does anyone want her for a few days, maybe? (Mom? Brie?)

Back to food... we are doing a cook-a-thon on Friday and I am so happy. We'll have a month's worth of meals that I won't have to think much about. I am just hopeful that I can eat most of it.

Silent Sunday

Do I post a lot about food?

This morning I had coffee with a friend. My first cup of java in months. I know, bla bla bla bad for baby... well I only drank like a 1/4 of the cup and I threw it up when I got home. Puke that smells like hazelnut coffee is not so bad.

Gwennie and I stopped to get some food at Fresh and Easy and I picked up a package of California Rolls, oh man were those good. I really wish I had more. Or maybe just some edamame to eat now (going to check our freezer for it). Nothing has tasted that good in weeks, months even.

On a side note, I actually feel pretty good so I'm going to start going through some boxes of kid clothes that my friend Jim gave me. That should make me feel like I've accomplished something today.

Semi-Silent Sunday part 2 FOOD!

Ok so I couldn't wait to post pictures of our dinner. This meal came out so deliciously that I want to share it with everyone! Unfortunately for you all, I can't do that. I am sharing it with my lovely sister. I owe her curry, she has helped me a few times and I appreciate that so much. (Even though it was an indirect help because she watched Hairball's kid so we could go see Eclipse.) Now I am all full and happy. I am off to read the rest of The Titan's Curse.

Curries and thoughts.

Happy Saturday, I was awakened in the night with a migraine. It kept waking me up. I got up and felt awful. After making myself eat breakfast I went back to bed until 11.

I have so much on my mind but can't even begin to write about it. I need some time to stew on these thoughts.

Tonight we are going out for curry with our friends. Mmmm, chicken tikka masala, papadum, mint chutney, oh I am salivating just thinking about it all. *drool*

Its Punkin Time!

A few weeks ago a friend of mine gave me a bunch of pumpkins. She had gotten them when she bought her Christmas tree at a local nursery. They were left over from the pumpkin patch at Halloween. They just needed them to be gone. For weeks these pumpkins have slowly rotted on my counter. Actually a few of them were given to the dogs. Penny loves to eat pumpkins.

This morning, I decided that I would just chop them up and roast them. There were only four left. Two reds and two that look like pie pumpkins. We also have a fairy tale pumpkin from the Botanical Garden's pumpkin festival, as well as a white pumpkin that I bought. (It is pretty.)

I did some quick internet research, finding the Pioneer Woman's Make your own pumpkin puree post.

I chopped them up, and scooped out the seeds. (Reserving some for planting and some for roasting.)
Then they were put into the oven at 350 degrees for forty-five minutes. Only they were not cooked at that time. So I added another 20 minutes then another 20. Finally after nearly 2 hours they were done.
I let the pumpkin cool (I tried to just do it straight out of the oven and burned my fingers.) I squished them and cut the peel off. Then put the bits of pulp into the food processor. It smelled like baby food. But now I have approximately 9 cups of pumpkin puree.

Oddly the red pumpkins have a richer orange colored pulp (on the left) while the pie pumpkins have a lighter color.

Gratitude Day 23

I am thankful for a husband who cooks and enjoys it. Tonight he made curry, using some squash that I bought simply for decoration. It came together well and has to have been some of the best curry either of us has made in a long while.

No, I didn't take a picture of it, but wish I had. It looked nice, too.

Gratitude Day 19

I am thankful for impromptu dinner parties with great friends.

I made a pan of delicious chicken, black bean and corn enchiladas yesterday. Usually by the time we get to the last few servings I am utterly sick of them, too. Last night though, a good friend of ours called and offered to bring over some of his red velvet cake (I think it is the same thing, its really good, but by the last slice you are sick of it.) Will offered him our enchiladas, which after a little coaxing he accepted.

At around six they all showed up, enjoyed dinner and beverages, and left us with enough of the cake for last night, and most likely tonight (unless I get to it later.) It was nice to have people to share with, and to have good conversation.

Gratitude Day 18

I am thankful for cheap cheese. Seriously, Fry's had the 8 ounce size of cheese for 97cents today, and those are the perfect size for most of our meals. You have to know I stocked up and now have a full dairy drawer.

Gratitude Day 3

I am thankful for my slow cooker. Today it is filled with beans and other tasty things as it slowly combines the flavors in the following recipe for some vegetarian chili. I tweaked a recipe I found online.
Ingredients

* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* 2 cups chopped onion
* 3 garlic cloves, minced
* 1 red bell pepper diced
* ½ cup of carrots minced (in a food processor)
* 2 1/2 cups water
* 2 tablespoons sugar
* 2 tablespoons chili powder
* 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
* 2 cans diced tomatoes, undrained
* 1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
* 1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
* 1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
* 1 can cannellini beans or other white beans, rinsed and drained
* 1 or 2 cups of frozen corn

Preparation
Heat oil in a skillet. Add onion, bell pepper, carrots and garlic; sauté 3 minutes or until tender. Add 2 1/2 cups water and ingredients (through cannellini beans) to slow cooker.
When onion mix is soft put in slow cooker and combine.
Allow to cook on low for as long as needed (4 hours or more) serve in a bowl topped with cheese, avocado.

mish mash

I have a headache. It just won't go away, and I am sure it is from the cold, some remnant of infection, still lingering in my head. It hurts, and is only lessened by mad amounts of ibuprofen and sudafed. (Would it possibly be better with real sudafed and not the stuff they sell now?) My head is stuffed up again, and I have thick, green mucous. Yummers. There is nothing like having to spit out of the car window because you are driving and coughing up nasties.

Yesterday was cook-a-thon day. Whew, we got a lot done. It was sad, because one of our number has moved to another state. She called while we cooked and it was nice to talk to her. We have a new friend cooking with us. It was fun to meet someone new. I love the comraderie of the cook-a-thon. You really get to know people, and feel a part of community when you are working with other people that way.

After school, Rhayn and one of the other kids in her class (his mom does cook-a-thon, too) were able to walk a few blocks to another classmate's house to ask if he could play in the park. Then while the kids were out in the park, another family from the school showed up (they live on that same block. Their youngest is one of Gwennie's friends.) It made me feel very sad for my kids, not living in the same neighborhood they go to school in. Many of these families moved to that neighborhood because of the proximity to the school. It was nice to let Rhayn walk around, without feeling like I needed to be on her, because she was with a large group of friends.

When we were kids we were able to do that, all of the time. We were sent out into the world, loose, free, until the street lights came on. (I actually don't remember what our rules were. Mom?) I remember walking to the swimming pool unsupervised in the summer, nearly every day. I wish Rhayn had that. I think its mostly because we don't have friends in the neighborhood, and she doesn't have a sibling close in age to buddy with (I have G'Rat, who is only fourteen months younger than I.)

Ahem... I totally lost my train of thought, serious medication is making me feel funky. I know I had a plan for this post, something that I wanted to talk about... well and I am sure there is a more eloquent way to say what I want to say... alas, I am totally done. My brain is mush and I think its time to rest for a bit while the clothes dry on the line, its taking longer today due to (FINALLY!) cooler weather.