Who will help make the tamales?

It is the first day of December. And I have so much to do!
I still haven't done much shopping, though most of it will be online this year (I miss shopping at lots of fun stores!)

I have our cards but am hand addressing them and am only 1/3 of the way through. I am not smart enough to figure out how to do it with our printer- maybe next year! Plus I wrote about the baby on the card and there is this small part of me that is totally terrified to send them and have something bad happen. I have another scan coming up soon and a part of me is waiting for that to send out the cards. It would still give them plenty of time to get there in time for Christmas, if I did that.

Since Will is gone and we are in Sierra Vista, I am looking for new traditions. Today was the Winter Faire at the girls' old school and I am so sad that we didn't get to go. But I just found a Tuba Christmas thing in Tombstone in a couple of weeks (that my old band director is playing in) and I am thinking that would be a lot of fun, because Tombstone is 17 miles away and always fun.

There are tamales to make. I am not sure if we'll make the drive to my mom's to make them, or if I can beg enough for her to come down and make them here. Or maybe I'll have to get some friends here to help out (not fun to make them alone!)

I need to make a list and see what I need to do now and hopefully- get some things done so it can really start feeling like Christmas around here.

Another quick one.

Just another quick update, since that is about all I can handle right now.

We signed the papers for our new home on Friday Dec 23rd.
The 24th we went to the zoo, as is our tradition.Christmas was spent in Coolidge with the family, after opening gifts at our house first.
Monday we had a nice family day at home.
Tuesday, the 27th, we headed up to see some SNOW! This trip deserves a post all to itself.
Wednesday we came home from the snow trip and found out that Will had the keys to our new home, which means the real work begins (for him- getting the house ready for us, and for me, getting this house packed up.)
Thursday Natalie turned 9 months old, and my mom came up to help me pack.
Which leads up to today- more packing, we actually have a few rooms nearly packed, a dent has been made in the super massive black hole o'crap we own.

Why am I struggling with Christmas? I love the whole season, but I always feel inadequate this time of year. Like I should have done more, given more, made more, been more. But what more could I do, give, make and be?

I've made plenty of gifts- my knitting needles have been clacking away for a month. I didn't finish some of the gifts I wanted to make. I made caramels, fudge, chex mix. I still need to make cookies- gingerbread mainly but I can't find the mix I usually use, so I guess I will have to make them from scratch. Also I want to make sugar cookies, but only because I want to eat them. So perhaps I should wait until after the holidays.

Our house hasn't closed yet. This, while not a huge deal, is causing stress. It seems like such a pain in the backside trying to buy this property. We thought we'd be able to move in the 2nd week of January. Maybe we still can... maybe. But I am totally not holding my breath. Chances are better for late January maybe even February. Ugh.

Gwennie's teacher had a little going away party for her today, because we thought we weren't coming back- but now it looks like they will go back for a few weeks while I pack and get ready to move.

And I. am. freaking. out. The move, which seemed so exciting is now terrifying. The closer it gets the scarier. But I am still looking forward to it, I can't wait to be through this part, to be moved in together. This is probably the single biggest reason that I am struggling with Christmas.

There has been some drama around the Christmas gifts that Santa was getting the girls. Its fixed now, but it added more stress and a sleepless night.

And I have a few Christmas movies to watch. Maybe that will help.

It feels like life is whirling ever faster. We are only a few weeks from Christmas which is (hopefully) only a few weeks from our move. And I am not ready for either.

Our house is decorated for Christmas, our tree is up and the stockings are hung. This morning we were visited by St. Nicholas, who left the girls each a small gift, some Christmas socks and a bag of mixed nuts (in the shell- they look forward to that tradition each year). This is not something we celebrated growing up, but a tradition that they celebrate at the girls' school. I first heard of it when Rhayn was in kindergarten. And honestly we don't do it every year- I think we forgot last year. This year though, I am/was on the ball.Yesterday I had an eye appointment so Natalie and I spent a little time at the mall play area. She was not really sure what to think, and really she just wanted to nurse. It is a decent place to do that at least. I will be going back with her in a week or so and hopefully she'll play for a little longer. My prescription for glasses was upped again, just a little bit but I knew it would be. Things are not as crisp as they used to be. So I spent some money on new glasses. Totally different frames this time- which I will have in a few weeks, and yes, I will post pictures when I get them. I am excited about one pair- though I was told they are quite delicate and I did get a warranty on them. The second pair was $39.95 with purchase of a first pair, so I went ahead and bought a cheapish pair of at home glasses. If I don' t like them (or if Will doesn't because it matter what he thinks!) I can exchange them within 90 days, and they were from Sears which has a location in Sierra Vista and I think it has an optical center.

Don't tell Gwennie I posted this on here, though I only promised not to post it on Facebook, I said nothing about my blog. Sneaky, sneaky mama. Both she and Rhayn have tried on this Christmas gift, and I really hope its recipient enjoys it, too. I am done with 3 gifts for relatives, only 2 more to go. I have some ideas for the girls, too. I just need to get working, though much of it is hard since Natalie wants to be held a lot. She won't always feel this way and I try to remember that when I am holding her sleeping body while I am trying to knit over her head. But I love that she snuggles, Rhayn only did when she was sick. Gwennie remains a snuggle buggle and most of the time I really love that.

Gratitude Day 17- 21

Day 17- I am thankful for my sistah. I love that woman. She is amazing. Being 9 years apart was not good during out teen years (or mine teens actually, she wasn't a teen until I had my first baby at 23) but since we have become moms together, I feel a huge bond with her.

My sister and my youngest baby girls being held by my oldest, who just happens to be a little bit older than I was when my sister was born. I look at my girls and I see their adult friendships and love that they have each other.

Day 18- I am thankful that Will was able to get home by 5 on Friday so that he could attend a Lantern Walk at the girls' school. That made their day.

Day 19- I am grateful to my cousin, Hairball, who came up and went to see Breaking Dawn with me, and then went around as we joked about the more lame parts of the movie. Good times, and so nice even in we dragged my third arm along, she is cute, no? She thought that Breaking Dawn was, alright, but she really likes that the walls in the theater are soft. (Seriously she was giggling so loudly when she touched it.) She also enjoyed Jacob and the other wolves. Day 20- I am glad that the soccer season is over. Whew. I enjoy watching the girls play, but I am glad we won't have any more practices and we can have slow evenings.

Day 21- I am thankful that its Thanksgiving week. Only 2 1/2 days of school and then my favorite holiday, which we get to celebrate twice. I love food, friends, family.

Just a Quickie

Natalie is on the mend from her illness. Today she is covered in a small rash. I took her to the doctor and they believe its just a virus and that her vaccine reactions were really the virus and not the vaccine (or compounded by the virus). She seems to be feeling quite a lot better today.

Rhayn was sick last night, and this morning. She had to stay home from school with her puke bowl and is having a "Harry Potter-a-thon" while

Gwennie is at school. I am missing the festivities because I am here with sickies.

I am not yet sure what we are doing to trick or treating tonight. We had a plan, and as long as Rhayn feels somewhat better we'll execute as planned. My fingers are crossed that she does, because I bought her a costume... I want to see her wear it!

Silent Sunday- Easter Eve

Happy Valentine's Day

Gwennie and I were invited to a Valentine's Day potluck/lunch. It was really nice to sit around with a bunch of women, with small children (most had a baby under a year) and there were girls! there. Gwennie usually hangs out with a lot of boys. Not that its a problem for her, she really likes her friends, boy or not. But to be around other little girls is nice. She was the oldest kiddo there, by about a year, though she didn't mind.
This morning, I found this on my bed. Or I would have had Gwennie not told me about it and dragged me in to "find" it. (She kept saying "There is a heart with Rhayn's face on it!") I turned it over and read the note.

I love you, Mom.
from: Rhayn

I love the little notes she leaves me. I didn't teach her this, I used to do things like this, but not since having her. I know she made this a while ago. I remember her asking if she could cut up one of our Christmas cards to use her picture. (Since I over-ordered about 50, this wasn't a problem.) She is really thoughtful.

Est. 1976

My family top row- Me, G'Rat, Ender, JVA
bottom row- Dad, Mom, Dacheese
(In age order, I am oldest followed by G'Rat, Ender, JVA and Dacheese is da baby.)

I'm not even going to try to name all these folks for you. But this is the entire clan, as of December 2010.

What I should be doing...

I feel inspired to sew and create, but this lingering cold (and a migraine on top of it) is keeping me down today. I want to make a bunch more of the Dala horse ornaments that I made for the Winter Faire. I cut them out but haven't started embroidering them. I also have fabric waiting for a few Christmas gifts, including some fleece Gwennie helped me pick out today to make pajama pants for the girls (and myself I hope).

But instead of doing any of those things, I have been sitting here looking at some of my favorite inspirational blogs and shivering. I am looking at our dining room table which has temporarily become a craft station (covered in glitter and mess).

I have pictures to take of some things I have created lately. I have Christmas cards to get into the mail, because I finally picked them up at Costco today. I have laundry to do, as usual, but its cold and that means I probably won't use the clothesline. However it should be in the upper 60s tomorrow so I will do it then.

Oh, and Gwennie has a fever along with her stuffed up nose and the cold. Now its time for Rhayn to pick up the cold and be miserable.

Thanksgiving with Larry!

Saturday we had Thanksgiving Day (Observed) with my family. Larry the Lobster came along.

We started off at my parents house. It was Lily's birthday (she turned 4) so we brought her along for a playdate with Blue. Ok really we planned to be out of the house most of the day and we like to bring Lily along, it had nothing to do with it being her birthday.

I didn't take very many pictures because I felt so miserable all day. I just didn't have the energy to go outside and take pictures of the kids playing.

At my parents house we should have helped make food. I sat there and tried not to cough and sneeze on the food being prepared. Will helped chop up the apples for Apple Onion Stuffin' Muffins. Rhayn helped read the recipe because it printed quite tiny. (Check out the super awesome purple Docs she has on. I originally bought them for her for Christmas. There was no size in the shoes, so I had her try them on, and they barely fit so I gave them to her early. She told me that she feels "cool" in them. I love her style, this outfit is totally Leaner circa 1994.)

Larry had to check out my parents new Christmas tree (it was about time for a new one, the old fake one shed more than a real tree on New Year's Day!) Mike Wazowski was chilling in the tree and the duo made a nice red/green contrast, don't you think? We went to JVA and SLA's house to eat. I didn't get to hold any sweet babies because of my cold. It was really sad for me. But I held Larry and ate a bunch of food that I really couldn't taste. My sister made an apple pie that I think tasted good. The textures were right. I could smell it a little bit. I didn't overeat like I had on Thanksgiving day, but I still felt bloated. Actually I felt awful because I couldn't get a deep breath and the whole ride home was rather miserable. At home Larry sat with Lily for a quick birthday picture before we all went to bed for the night.

Thanksgiving

The last few years my extended family has celebrated Thanksgiving as an observed holiday, due to conflicting work schedules. This has allowed us to start a whole new tradition of having Thanksgiving twice. On Thanksgiving day, we load up and drive just down the road to our friends' house. They have kids close in age to our own and a huge property just right for enjoying the best time of year in Arizona.

This year our other friends joined the party totalling 9 adults, and 6 kids (plus 5 dogs, 2 horses a couple of goats and chickens.) It was a lot off fun and I ate so much I felt 9 months pregnant by the time we all headed home.

Will was happy to get to play some soccer with the guys (and Rhayn.)After soccer, we had dessert. The kids watched a movie. The adults sat around and talked and joked. It was perfect.

Christmas is fast approaching and I am trying my hardest to stay calm. I want to fully enjoy this year. I want to enjoy every day, but Christmas- the whole holiday season- is my favorite time of year. I love the chill in the air. I love Christmas music. I love red and green. I love decorating for it. I love finding the perfect gift for someone I love. I just love it.I inherited from my mom some wonderful things, and this love of the season (and all of the lovely music that comes with it!) is one of them. However I also got from her a worry about it. And as I have aged I have lost much of the wonder of it all. I know that is normal. I understand that. But I want to recapture the wonder through the eyes of my children. I don't want them to see me during this season as a jumble of stress. I don't want to yell because things aren't perfect (how could they ever be?)
This year is a whole lot more stressful than some in the past (not including this year.) We are not broke, but money is a lot less abundant than it has been in recent memory. I usually have a good portion of the gifts taken care of and squirreled away by now. I don't have that this year. We are looking to make it a more modest season. Maybe we'll even get a little more into the reason we celebrate this time of year. I would love to have teach the girls (and myself) a little more about Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, and the meaning of Christmas. There are beautiful stories associated with all of these holidays.

The girls know that money is tight, and are looking forward to handmade gifts from both of us. Gwennie wants one of these Dala horses. I don't yet know what I am making them, since last year I made them fairy dolls like these from Magic Cabin. I really need to get going on something.

Veteran's Day

I did not take very many pictures on Veteran's Day. We once again attended the parade that the VA puts on. Only this time we were able to bring our Veteran, and he was on a committee that sponsors the parade. This allowed us breakfast and great seating at the parade. It was awesome to not be sitting on the ground this year.

After the parade Will had an interview with a local television station. We came along. The girls were a little bored during the interview, but the reporter then gave us a tour of the studio. The girls got to sit in the anchors' seat, and she showed us how the green screen works. The girls got to point to the days and temperatures, and pretend to be meteorologists. She showed us some other sets, too. It was really neat. We met one of the anchors and watched the beginning of a live show.When were were finally at home, we all felt exhausted. The parade was long and we were in the sun for the duration. We didn't have time to get lunch before the interview and it totally wore us all out, so we took the rest of the day off and rested.
Will set up our DVR to record the evening news, and we were able to watch him on TV. Gwennie, who hadn't really cared about the whole experience when we were there, was so excited about seeing her dad on the television. She squealed and jumped up, exclaiming "Its you Daddy!"

Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Last night many people gathered at the school. We all brought a picture of a loved one who has passed on, as well as something they loved when they lived. We ate a potluck dinner, we talked, we laughed, we watched a dance. The kids ran wild and all had fun.

Gratitude Monday/Half way

I am thankful for

• being 20 weeks pregnant. Baby is wiggly and kicking, a constant reminder that there is someone in there.
  
• FINALLY showing enough that other notice. Sure, I'm not huge yet, but there is a bump, and its filled with a baby who I am getting more and more excited (and terrified!) to meet in March. (I tried to take a picture, but honestly I didn't look as pregnant in it as I do really. I'll try again later.)
• a nice weekend's worth of activities. Saturday was the girls' last soccer game. Both games were at the same time, which makes it really hard. We split up, I sat at Gwennie's game and Will went to Rhayn's. Gwennie tried and chased the ball. She has improved markedly since the beginning of the season. Rhayn's team won. Both girls received a trophy. Its a nice one too, with their name and season they played soccer. Then there was pizza and sodas for all. After that we came home and worked around the house a bit. The evening was finished off by a trip to Rhayn's school for the Halloween carnival.
  
• On Halloween we went trick-or-treating with friends in a nearby neighborhood. The girls got a fair amount of candy and had great time. (Which is of course all that matters, right?)

Carve 'Em Up

Today was the annual pumpkin carving festival at Rhayn's school.

Both girls did a great and simple job. (Gwennie drew her's but I cut the eyes out. You can't tell but it has a tail on the backside, because it is a cat.)

Silent Sunday

Christmas 2009

Although Christmas this year came and went so fast it feels like a blur, we all agreed that this year was the best Christmas ever.

Rhayn kept telling us how great the day was. Gwennie was so pleased to give us all gifts that she had wrapped from her own arsenal of toys. (I finally had to take away the wrapping paper as she kept wrapping her horses and putting them under and in the tree in the days leading up to Christmas.)


Will was glad to be home, and we were all more than pleased to have him here. His presence at all of our traditional gatherings has made them so much better. He even participated in games at my aunt's house. (Where we all missed Hairball, but understood that having a week old baby does give you an excuse to go home early.)


I look back at last year, and wonder how I even functioned through the depression that filled me. I was unable to cope with hardly any of the issues thrown my way. While this year, for the most part, everything has rolled off my back. I wasn't even plagued by Christmas Day depression. (Usually after the gifts are opened I feel this major let down.)

This year, sure I am sad that its all over, but I am still just pleased that Will is home. (He might say otherwise.) I am dealing with a little bit of depression, but honestly nothing like last year. I think that must have been my lowest point the entire year.


We went easy on the gifts this year, but still managed to have an enjoyable Christmas with very few (if any) of those gifts that you immediately want to regift. All in all, it was one of those Christmases that we will always remember with fondness.

Happy Christmas Eve, All!

Gwennie and Madder cheesing it up.

Last night we went to see the LDS Temple lights, an annual tradition for us. Will and I planned badly* and ended up not eating before hand. But we were such a large party that wait times were long at restaurants. I hadn't eaten enough beforehand and I was starving and grumpy.

Trying to get a good picture, my camera was nearly out of batteries and the flash took forever. Don't really know what Rhayn is doing in this picture.

Will and I decided to split ways with the rest of my family and go eat at a certain middle eastern restaurant we all love. This ended up being fortuitous because one of the women he had worked with in Iraq was home visiting her family (who own that restaurant) and he was able to talk to her and practice his Arabic, which he loves.

أجمل التهاني بمناسبة الميلاد

*Will informed me that he had no part in the planning of the trip last night. Apparently it was all my bad planning. Whoops.