20111221

Why am I struggling with Christmas? I love the whole season, but I always feel inadequate this time of year. Like I should have done more, given more, made more, been more. But what more could I do, give, make and be?

I've made plenty of gifts- my knitting needles have been clacking away for a month. I didn't finish some of the gifts I wanted to make. I made caramels, fudge, chex mix. I still need to make cookies- gingerbread mainly but I can't find the mix I usually use, so I guess I will have to make them from scratch. Also I want to make sugar cookies, but only because I want to eat them. So perhaps I should wait until after the holidays.

Our house hasn't closed yet. This, while not a huge deal, is causing stress. It seems like such a pain in the backside trying to buy this property. We thought we'd be able to move in the 2nd week of January. Maybe we still can... maybe. But I am totally not holding my breath. Chances are better for late January maybe even February. Ugh.

Gwennie's teacher had a little going away party for her today, because we thought we weren't coming back- but now it looks like they will go back for a few weeks while I pack and get ready to move.

And I. am. freaking. out. The move, which seemed so exciting is now terrifying. The closer it gets the scarier. But I am still looking forward to it, I can't wait to be through this part, to be moved in together. This is probably the single biggest reason that I am struggling with Christmas.

There has been some drama around the Christmas gifts that Santa was getting the girls. Its fixed now, but it added more stress and a sleepless night.

And I have a few Christmas movies to watch. Maybe that will help.

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