3 Months Old

Well its happened, Bug is officially a whole month older. Insane! How time flies....

She laughs now, and that makes it fun to play with her.

She also voices her frustrations, telling me when its time to pick her up or put her down. She is getting a personality and its slow development is so neat to watch!

Just yesterday she showed us her cry, because she poked herself in the right eye and it was not fun and she was NOT happy about it! So She screamed and yelled, and for a little while I had no idea what had actually happened- only knew that she was very unhappy (as she is right this moment.)

Rolling over is still out of her reach, she really hasn't even tried. Then again, she isn't a fan of tummy time, usually she screams at me and then I pick her up. I am PERFECTLY happy with her not rolling over, Rhayn was a master of it by 3 months. Bug is much more interested in talking and in seeing. She wants to check out her world, and gets mad when she is not positioned in a way that helps her see her world.

Today I showed her "the baby in the mirror" and she was enthralled. Coos and gurgles and ah-goos all over the place. It worked well to calm her, because she has her first cold. (Thanks to Will's work!) The past few days have been full of fussiness, and sleeping. She is congested and not happy. I can't wait for it to be over. Will and I both have it, and its hard to get projects done when you are feeling under the weather.

Rhayn continues to be a perfect big sister, although lately she has started trying to play with Bug and she plays too roughly. Its not like she means to hurt Bug, she just doesn't know how to play nicely.

It has been an awesome three months, and I just love that she is mine and I get to have her for much longer. Bug is the best baby- she is exactly what I wanted. Fat, calm, and snuggly.

Christmas Pictures

Matching Jammas for Christmas eve!


Opening my stocking.
(Santa gave me a really nice cedar chest see it in the corner?)

Picture of the Family with Hairball's mom's wall of junk!


Coolest coffee mug, ever!
Will bought it in Hawaii.

The Best Present Ever!

Rhayn found a bow and stuck it on Bug's head. It was cute, so we took a bunch of pictures of her.

Bug is 12 weeks old. For 12 weeks I have had her in my arms, attached to me in some way. For 12 weeks she has been a part of my life. Its amazing! Yesterday she laughed! It was the neatest sound. I was sticking her feet on her face and she was laughing about it. She had the hiccups also, so it was disconnected. It was still a laugh, such a sweet noise!

Rhayn's first laugh was given to my mom, who tickled her under the chin at a Walmart when we were buying Trivial Pursuit. It hurt my feelings that Rhayn didn't laugh for me first, and although Bug has sort of laughed a few other times to me and daddy, this time it was certain. AND it was ALL MINE!

I think Bug must also be going through a growth spurt, she has been eating every hour while awake and actually woke me up 3 times last night. (Not including the time after she went to sleep, but before I did.) Is it possible for her to GROW again, already? She is such a big girl... She is going to be giant if she keeps eating like this! Its fine, because I know that I am giving her the best stuff ever, and it is obviously agreeing with her perfectly!

Right now, she is in my arms, munching and looking up at me with her blue eyes, so perfect. So amazing, so mine!

Pies and Trees

You Are Cream Pie

You're the perfect combo of simplicity and divinity Those who like you life for understated pleasures

What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree

Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents. From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.

What Christmas Tree Are You?


Because we all have nothing better to do with our lives! What kind of tree are you?

Oh and if you start flipping around that blogthings website- check out how much do you know about blogging?
I only got 3 out of 8 (and dooced was one of the correct ones... its too bad it doesn't tell you the real answers!)

Run Run RUN!!

Tuesday was a busy day. I feel like I spent all day running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Hairball needed a truck to go to Cool-town, so I drove her. She needed to give her brother his Christmas gift early. He goes a little crazy decorating his house for Christmas and NEEDED this! Hairball made it what do you think?Isn't she talented? (look its Malcolm sized!)

I took a picture of me holding Madder. She and Bug could not look much different! You really can't tell how different in this picture. But believe me- in person they are total opposites, and I- not being at all prejudiced- think Bug is cuter. Madder is a cutey, too. She has sucha strong personality that I love to watch her. She talks and moves and is just going to be so fun when she can walk! (Like her cousin Rhayn!) I had to give dacheese about 50 diapers that my chunk has outgrown. For about a week she has been wearing them a bit um- too small- and hairball jinxed me, She asked me how they were not leaking. So it happened more than once, the leak. Plus they were leaving marks on her poor chunka thighs. That I guess is what happens when your baby is a fatty! (Yeah for baby fat! It is adorable!)

I have been feeling quite down in the dumps. Really having a hard time this year. As long as I keep running I feel like Christmas won't catch up to me, and I can delay it. I don't know what exactly is missing or what I feel like I have forgotten, but its taking a toll on me. Last night I broke down and had a good long cry, because I feel so overwhelmed. I think it might be a tiny bit of baby blues mixed with seasonal depression. I don't exactly know what to do to change my feelings, today I have to run some more and get groceries (and hopefully not go out again for a couple of days.) Then I hope the baking can commence and I will feel an uplifting of spirit as well as maybe just feeling happy for the day.

Christmasy!

The batteries in my camera died while we were visiting the temple lights. SO this was the best picture.


Its not fair- even when she looks silly- my sister takes GREAT pictures! (See isn't she pretty?!) I used to do that... now I only see flaws- is this part of getting old? Does disliking having my pic taken mean I am old? (and what is up with the LACK of BUTT In my pants? Huh?)

Bring on the CURRY!

I have always wondered, if the pediatrician says "no food until 6 months" and "start off with bland mushed up vegetables" what do mamas in countries that mainly eat spicy highly flavored foods do?

Upon research I found this article which does a pretty good job of telling us to stop being so paranoid! Babies can handle the spicy! They may even LIKE the spicy!

If a fetus is exposed to, say curry while in the womb, and mama keeps eating it while breastfeeding. It only makes sense thatt the baby will eat it happily when they are able to start eating solids. If a mama craves jalapenos and other chilies, then feed the baby a little bit of them when you start solids. It won't really hurt them.

I am excited about taking Bug to eat Indian curry when she is bigger. Rhayn used to love it, but I fear after her curry puke the other day, she may be anti-curry for a long time (much like I was anti enchiladas sauce, especially the Macayo's Red sauce, because of an enchiladas puke during high school.) Curry does make our Bug a little gassy, but it doesn't make her poop differently, or make her seem upset at all. So when she is 6 months or when she starts acting like she wants to eat solids (after 6 months) I think a mild curry will be one of her first foods. Yum Yum!

Searching for Mama Right!

I am searching for someone. I look for this person everywhere I go. There have been a few candidates, but so far the right one has eluded me.
I walk down the aisles at the grocery store, will I see them here? Will today be the day? There is someone fitting my idea, but no- there is something wrong, something strange.
I drive down the road, I read bumper stickers, I check out the driver. Where is this person!?

No, I am not looking for long lost love, no I am not looking for a new love.
I am searching for a friend. The elusive "MAMA FRIEND."

She has to be close to my age, she needs to have at least one child close to the ages of my children. I would prefer her be a married, stay at home mama, lives in the area I live in, and I really REALLY want her to breastfeed, or to have nursed (so there aren't awkward times when I am whipping it out, and so I know she has similar ideals as I do.)

Why is this person so hard to find? I mean, I see women coming close to my idea at the grocery store, but I haven't ever found one that lives close enough?

There was A, she lives on the other side of the valley and after talking to her, well we really didn't mesh. It still would have been nice to have someone to go and visit.
There is hairball- again she lives across town, she is great and I totally wish she lived closer (being cousins gives us a stronger bond!)
There is R, but she has a totally different life and although there are things we really have in common, there are other parts that would make it impossible to be total best buds.

What do I do?
I go to the birth circles, and hope to find her (they never live very close, but man there are a few women there that I would give my first-born to be best buds with!)

I feel like a teenage boy, as I look for someone to share my life with. I want to find a friend, I need to find a friend. I would love to have some couple friends to hang out with that get along with Will (another issue! He is picky also and being a lot less crunchy than I am, it is hard to find a couple, with a crunchy wife and computer geek hubby... )

Yeah, I am babbling, but today Rhayn is sick, I spent the morning cleaning curry puke off of the carpet (who knew it stained so badly!?) Now I am trying to rest, as my head is pounding and I want to take a nap, but there is laundry that I need to do.
Luckily Bug isn't sick, or doesn't seem to be. She stinks and needs a bath, but she isn't vomiting at all!

NAKED!!!

I swore with all of my mama-ness that I would NEVER EVER EVER take naked baby pictures! Let alone post them on the internet!
I have done so many things that I swore I would never ever ever do (like give my child candy and sugar... But why deny someone something that will immediately quiet the beast!?)
So when taking these I tried REALLY hard to avoid parts that might later cause issues. (I didn't succeed, as you can see.) But hey they show butt naked babies on TLC's A Baby Story- why can't I?
How can you not want to take pictures of that skin? Its so hard not to want to just gobble her up (another thing I swore I would never say! LOL)

And then there is the backside.... Another picture of those jowls! She would gave many bloodhounds a run for their "Biggest jowls" money! Saggy baggy baby jowls, what a SWEET thing they are!

These pictures don't even show how rolly poly she is! If you are ever at a store and see the "Lots to Love" doll- well that is closer to what she looks like!

Poppin' Fresh

Another day another dollar. I ordered photo cards online (from Walmart- now normally I would be totally AGAINST that evil establishment- but... I found a card I really liked there.) I should get them tomorrow and can have them out by Thursday (yeah right!) Hopefully I ordered enough!

This picture is NOT one used for the cards, in fact they are in different outfits, because it took me 2 days to get one that I liked and the better one actually came from the first try. Rhayn is trying to make Bug smile. Will calls Bug "Poppin' Fresh" whenever I put that hat on her, but she sort of looks like a girl in it, right? (It has a bow and little pink, yellow, and blue flowers all over it!)

Really don't have a lot to say right now, I am sure that I will later, but I want to get dressed and see if a certain hairball is around today. I would like to have some hang out time today! Maybe jet over to the ZOO. But we'll see. Rhayn was acting a little ill, so we may need to stay home. (which we have... grrrr I wanted out of the house!)

*Added at 1:50 pm*

I was just reading one of my favorite blogs Dooce, when I read this entry. Man, have I felt that feeling a few times. I know that when and if I curse those words WILL be reapeated, and if Rhayn ever uses them against me... oh man. Once she told me that daddy says "shit" and mommy says "crap." Aren't you all impressed? Daddy curses- mostly at the computer and mostly while gaming or programming. I curse under my breath and hope that she doesn't hear it.
I can only imagine what it will be like to have 2 little sponges soaking up all of my bad habits. Two nail-biters- joy. I hate being a nail biter. I want to stop, but I can't. I have during both of my pregnancies, but afterwards it starts up again. With Rhayn I blamed her cleft palate as the jump starter of bad habit. With Bug it was her being breech, I sat their nibbling away at the stubs of nails I have left and worried about her birth, and whether we'd get her head down AND if she'd stay that way.
What is my excuse now? Well my nails look like crap and half the time I don't even notice that my fingers are in my mouth, nice, huh?

I am lonely! I want to be anywhere but here right now. I can't wait until Will gets home, but its a late night as he is going out with friends after work. Rhayn seems to be feeling better, maybe we can venture to JoAnns for something I want to make as a present for someone... but we'll see. Cross your fingers that Rhayn will not puke if we leave the house!

Well back again

For some reason Bug keeps spitting up and seems to be not feeling super. The worst part is that she really wants to be in the swing! I mean I will hold her and cradle her, and feed her. But she will start fussing so I will walk and move and dance and sing. Nothing really helps- then I set her in the swing for a minute and BAM she is calm.
SO I guess, Thanks dacheese! The swing has been a bit of a lifesaver today! (Gave me time to vacuum the house- which it really needed! Without a fussy pants attached to me the WHOLE time!)
I wonder if she is going to get fussier and Madder will become more calm? My SIL said at about 2 months her twins personalities seemed to flip flop- one was high maintenance at birth and at 2 months he started to calm down, then the other who had been calm needed attention (and still does!) So only time will tell, but I am hoping- for dacheese's sake- that Madder calms down and becomes a delightful baby! (I am sure she will once she can be on the move!)

Look Familiar Mom?

In Which I Get to be the WEIRDO!

The birth circle was a bit strange last night, I did get to hear a few of the "I am Superwoman" birth stories, but it was not the normal birth circle that I had come to expect. First of all, the "normal" women were not there. They were off attending to their own families I guess.

The person who was leading the meeting HAS NEVER HAD A BABY! GASP! She is sweet and awesome and sent me a TON of material on vaccinations when I asked a few weeks ago (more proof that she DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN!) But She is so passionate about birth, and the mama, its amazing and I know when she does have a child it will be a truly spiritual experience. She soaks up birth stories like a sponge (like me!) So its fun to tell them to her.

There were also 2 others there with no birth stories, instead they sported large third trimester bellies, bulging out and housing babies that will join the world soon. They were there to hear our stories and find support in this large city. They had heard of the Circle through their prenatal yoga class (something I would have loved to do and I swear I will next time!)

Finally, there were 4 of us with birth stories of our own. One lady who has recently had her 4th child, all in hospitals and she works as a doula. One with 3 children aged 6 to 14, born in hospitals, and also a doula. Another with one child and a truly miraculous hospital birth story that brings tears to the eyes, since she just seemed to feel this real love for her story.
Then there was ME- the WEIRDO!

The ONLY homebirther there!

I am usually surrounded by women at the Birth Circle who have had their babies at home, who have beautiful birth stories and wonderful stories of other births that they have attended (usually they are doulas, or birth advocates.) Usually there are women who feel that home is the safest, best place for birth, yet last night, there were women who want a hospital birth, they just want it on their terms. They are empowering themselves by learning everything they can in order to "work the system" to their advantage. These women have spent hours pouring over books and talking to people, finding the best place in the valley to birth for them, and they best team of people to surround them.

How Glorious these women are, how wonderful they are to be doing what they feel is best for them and for their child. How amazing it is to be surrounded by such a group. I felt blessed even though I was the weirdo last night.

Its also great that these women have found somewhere to get information. Its too bad that it isn't easier to get the information needed and wanted to be best informed about our options whether in hospital, birth center, or at home.

Here is to EMPOWERING WOMEN ABOUT THE TRUTH ABOUT BIRTH!

In a few hours

In a few hours I will be sitting in a circle with women, who either have a passion for birth, or are going to give birth and want to know everything that they can.

In a few hours, I will be surrounded by women who are willing to share their stories of birth, to tell others what they liked or didn’t like about their births.

In a few hours I will hear the “And it was over, I had a beautiful child, I did it, I am superwoman,” endings that I love best.

In a few hours, I have one of those stories to share. I am a superwoman. I am powerful. I trust my own body, that is knows what to do and that it is able to do it. I had support, I had everything I needed at that time, I was there, yet I was not. I was in a world that involved only me and my soon-to-be-born child. What a strong magnificent place to be!

The Lying Game

How do you stop children from lying? What is the "perfect way?" I know that lies are a stage that all children go through and that, like other stages it needs to be handled delicately in order to raise an ideal child... so how is it handled?
What should you say to your child to let them know that LIES are not ok, however imagination and story telling is? It is such a fine line.

I need help with this, I mean Rhayn understands that lies hurt my feelings, but she doesn't understand, really, what a lie is. I am trying to stop the lies here. I want her to feel comfortable coming to me with anything and telling me. I want her to know that I am a safe haven so that as a teenager she can confide in me when she has a problem. I hope that the clear channel will allow her to NOT take drugs, because we can talk about it, and I will be able to share my experience and tell her about friends who lost the drug battle. I hope that it will allow her to talk to me about sex and it will be something more to her than it was to me as a teenager. To let her know that its ok to tell me her feelings and not need to hide them from me.

Where do I begin, I know that now is the time, and talking to your children is the best thing to do, but what is the best way to do it?

Help!

Caches and Smiles

We spent the weekend at my parents house. It was fun, and we got to go geocaching which is great fun! The 4 Wheel Tacos had hid one in a mesquite thicket and some were forced to leave a little of themselves in the walk. (Luckily the babes were in slings and fully protected by a grampa who sacrificed himself to the branches!)

I love being out in the desert, and I know that the place we were will someday be covered in houses, I only hope they find LOTS of Indian Ruins and are unable to build there or something. It makes me sad to think that the place we all learned to drive and spent many Thanksgiving and Christmas afternoons, will be a suburb someday. How sad growth it, and so hard for those who have lived here for decades and can't imagine it any other way. Even small things like a Walmart being built in a small town are strange. I know that there are millions of people who want to start over in a different place, but can't they move to the midwest? Or somewhere that isn't my beloved desert?

We finally were able to get a picture of the girls smiling and Madder covered her mouth, but you can see that she is smiling! Their smiles are so different, Bug turns into a giant open mouthed circle that you can't really tell is a smile and Madder has a more closed mouth smile. But both are cuteys nonetheless! Aren't they?

Will should be home today. He said early Monday morning, but as its the Army they probably had to do push ups as soon as they got back.

I have been an emotional wreck all weekend, I swear I haven't cried so much in months! (Ok so I haven't cried that much since the week after Bug was born! I was weepy then!) I went to church with my parents and I don't know why but hearing about people getting helped with money or baby clothes or just needing a helping hand made me bawl. There is a lady whose husband died, and just thinking of how hard that would be for her made the tears flow down my cheeks. Later we were trying to get my birthmark to show up and my mom started talking about that lady's husband dying again. It did make me get teary eyed (and yes made my red birthmark stand out!)

Truly Relaxing!

Yesterday I was trying to take a picture for our annual Christmas card, I had both girls all dressed up and looking cute. However Rhayn was not looking at me and she had a patch of dryish skin near her mouth. Then Bug fell asleep! In Rhayn's arms! I mean it was cute, BUT it wasn't the look I was going for.

I also decided that I needed a nap after that early morning, so we all laid on my bed with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on. I fell asleep about 10 minutes into it, and Bug was asleep by then, too. When the movie was almost over I woke up and noticed that Rhayn had also fallen asleep! She never naps, but I guess that early morning did her in, too. We woke up around 4 pm. I really felt out of it, as naps usually make me feel. I know I could have made it without, but there is something great about climbing under your down comforter and cuddling with your kids! Ah that is TRUE relaxation!


Some Rhaynnonisms-
"Breaktahs" (breakfast)
"my fur is standing up" (goosebumps/ i am cold. this one is especially funny since, well she is a hairy, hairy little girl!)
"I'm MAKEY!!!!" ("I have no clothes on! Look at me!"- usually followed by LOTS of running with arms waving about in the air.)
"Nock Nog Milk" (egg nog mixed with some milk, but can mean just egg nog)

Bug's Thumb and Old Clothes

4 am is a very early time to wake up. There is no light from a rising sun, there is no warmth.
The sky is still a deep dark color. Yet 4 am comes, the alarm chimes, and my task of waking Will up commences. Luckily this morning he wasn't a bear or difficult to wake up. At least I don't think he was. Honestly, I hardly remember waking up. But I know Will did, because at a little after 6 am, he called, "um I forgot something. Its my beret, and its downstairs. Can you bring it to me, I am at Terminal 2" Hello? Its 6 am, and I have 2 children far away in dreamland. I was also in dreamland walking through a field with Carter (who oddly enough was dressed like the character in Zelda called Link.) So did I want to get out of bed and get myself and 2 children out of bed and into the car to drive to the airport? Ugh- NO, but did I? Yes. Luckily I did have a bit of time, in fact I had until 8. BUT It was best to get their sooner.

Last night Bug soothed herself while I had to help Will shave his head. She finally got that thumb in her mouth ALL BY HERSELF! Notice the other hand? It is on her hair, stroking her head. Yes, she loves to hold hair, and I think if she had anymore it would be even more enjoyable for her!

I would love to go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours, and maybe I will get a nap this afternoon. I need to go through our clothes and put the ones we don't wear into a bag for the VVA, they send us a pink bag to fill and then come pick it up once a month or so. I can always find stuff that we no longer need, and that doesn't fit us well, especially since I have finally gotten Will to understand that just because his brother gives him a shirt (and XXL shirt!) that if it doesn't look good on him he DOES NOT NEED TO WEAR IT JUST BECAUSE IT WAS FREE! We have been putting clothes that no longer "fit" in a garbage bag in the closet, and we have it full! The pick up date is set for tomorrow. Will was even willing to put out a 14 inch monitor, I think it might have been his original computer monitor. I think we have 5 other monitors, so its not like he really needs it! AH, I love getting rid of his stuff! (I know it is VERY difficult for him as he thinks it is all reusable and wants to make ART with his old computer parts!) I had 5 pairs of Levi's that no longer fit me. I was a size 5 pre-pregnancy, but my hips seem to have gotten a TINY bit wider and even with the fat bulging out of my old pants they don't quite button. Size 7s are way more comfortable and I want a tiny bit higher rise on them, too. (I can't do low-rise, crack hanging out, pants anymore! I really am getting old!) It makes me feel like I am helping to put out that pink bag and know that someone will get to use the item and it may really help them, since it is no longer helping me.

I want to go hiking badly. Maybe I could talk my mom and dad into a short hike this weekend (hint hint! wink wink!) I know it would be fun and Bug would be good, Rhayn would like it, too. Oh well if we don't, but it could be fun! It is a nice time of year for it!