The Lying Game

How do you stop children from lying? What is the "perfect way?" I know that lies are a stage that all children go through and that, like other stages it needs to be handled delicately in order to raise an ideal child... so how is it handled?
What should you say to your child to let them know that LIES are not ok, however imagination and story telling is? It is such a fine line.

I need help with this, I mean Rhayn understands that lies hurt my feelings, but she doesn't understand, really, what a lie is. I am trying to stop the lies here. I want her to feel comfortable coming to me with anything and telling me. I want her to know that I am a safe haven so that as a teenager she can confide in me when she has a problem. I hope that the clear channel will allow her to NOT take drugs, because we can talk about it, and I will be able to share my experience and tell her about friends who lost the drug battle. I hope that it will allow her to talk to me about sex and it will be something more to her than it was to me as a teenager. To let her know that its ok to tell me her feelings and not need to hide them from me.

Where do I begin, I know that now is the time, and talking to your children is the best thing to do, but what is the best way to do it?



TLC said...

Man, I wish I remembered how we handled it w/the older boys. Now they are just too afraid to lie. Oh but Jack this weekend tried to not tell the truth about who turned the heater up - we had all been roasting all day long and I never checked the furnace knob and then finally Clint did and asked if I turned it up and so we aSked jack but he didn't say yes or no - just stood there. Clint said just tell us you are not going to get in trouble and then he just cracked a smile. Clint was a bit peeved that he would have stayed mum if it waSn't for that comment about not getting in trouble. Stinker! I do remember Slade at Rhay's age and how he was sooo honest he would start to cry out of guilt. He used to say his "bad brain" told him to do. This went on for a week or so and we would just talk to him about it because we could tell he didn't like to "listen" to his "bad brain" and he felt bad enough. You are probably doing the "right" thing for you and your girl. trust that and run with it! Don't get so ahead of the situation by thinking about the teen years - you are proactive in the here and now and that makes for a very healthy "later"

leaner said...

Yes, I know that I really only need to worry about now, but I also know how much NOW affects later.
That is pretty funny about Slade's "bad brain" I wish Rhayn had a "bad brain" but her "heart" tells her to do things (like giving hugs, and playing.)

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