To me- the word long just makes me think of a long day. A long year that is coming soon. And a long time to wait to spend every night with this guy.
Showing posts with label mamamonday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mamamonday. Show all posts
20080602
MamaMonday: Long
The word Long has many meanings. Sometimes you long for something, the days of yore perhaps? Sometimes it has been a long time since something has happened. Sometimes it is a long distance from something that you find yourself.
To me- the word long just makes me think of a long day. A long year that is coming soon. And a long time to wait to spend every night with this guy.
To me- the word long just makes me think of a long day. A long year that is coming soon. And a long time to wait to spend every night with this guy.
20080526
MamaMonday: Care
With care, she lined them up. The old and the new.
It was a pony party and none would be left out.
Including the snail and lion.
The old and new,
and no one cared who was which.
It was a pony party and none would be left out.
Including the snail and lion.
The old and new,
and no one cared who was which.
20080519
MamaMonday: Count
Another week, another theme.
Count. Have you ever listened to a child count? Do you wonder if they get the abstract idea of what those words mean. Do they know that 1 is one?
Rhayn learned to count to ten first in Spanish. She still can't count to twenty. She messes up at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Sometimes she skips sixteen, too. Its odd. She can count to eternity past twenty, though. (Well she can count to one hundred at least.) She can add has been able to for a long time, she understands numbers.
Gwennie can count to ten, sort of. Its a jumble of sounds. She repeats them after her sister. She screams out "free, four, five!" for no reason. But if you start at one, she heads to ten easily. I wonder how she will be with numbers. Will they come easily to her, like they do to me.
Once I had a professor in college who explained numbers to me. I excelled in his class so I even took him a second semester. Easily earning an A even though I was out a few weeks due to having a baby. He was my ideal math instructor. I have had a lot of lets say not so great teachers. I once asked a math professor "Why?" and he stared at me blankly and said "It just does." Huh? It just does? I mean sure that is true, but a good professor would be able to point to the root of the problem and slowly work his (or her) way to the solution. He would be able to explain "why." Not "It just does." Because to have someone who can explain it the way that it makes sense TO YOU, makes all of the difference in how well you understand math.
Count. Have you ever listened to a child count? Do you wonder if they get the abstract idea of what those words mean. Do they know that 1 is one?
Rhayn learned to count to ten first in Spanish. She still can't count to twenty. She messes up at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Sometimes she skips sixteen, too. Its odd. She can count to eternity past twenty, though. (Well she can count to one hundred at least.) She can add has been able to for a long time, she understands numbers.
Gwennie can count to ten, sort of. Its a jumble of sounds. She repeats them after her sister. She screams out "free, four, five!" for no reason. But if you start at one, she heads to ten easily. I wonder how she will be with numbers. Will they come easily to her, like they do to me.
Once I had a professor in college who explained numbers to me. I excelled in his class so I even took him a second semester. Easily earning an A even though I was out a few weeks due to having a baby. He was my ideal math instructor. I have had a lot of lets say not so great teachers. I once asked a math professor "Why?" and he stared at me blankly and said "It just does." Huh? It just does? I mean sure that is true, but a good professor would be able to point to the root of the problem and slowly work his (or her) way to the solution. He would be able to explain "why." Not "It just does." Because to have someone who can explain it the way that it makes sense TO YOU, makes all of the difference in how well you understand math.
20080512
MamaMonday: New
In my garden, my new garden are plants of all shapes and sizes. But mostly there are exciting things peeking out of plants. Blooms becoming small green fruit. Little leaves poking up from the ground. And every morning, looking out there is something new.
20080505
MamaMonday: Celebrate
This weeks MamaMonday theme is Celebrate. I however do not feel much like celebrating at all. In fact I feel like curling up into a tiny ball in a corner somewhere and being alone. But I can't do that. I can't get away from life at all. I need to make sure that Rhayn gets to and from school every day and that the girls are fed.
It is Cinco de Mayo, which is an excuse to drink many Coronas and party. Not something I ever celebrate, but it is huge here.
Sunday is Mother's Day. It doesn't mean anything to me really. Rhayn is excited about it, saying we need to go to church with my parents because there is something they are doing.
Saturday is Rhayn's last soccer game, and after that I have an afternoon shopping trip planned with a friend of mine. Her husband has graciously offered to watch the four kids (my 2 and their 2- all girls) while we shop, without kids. Is that a reason to celebrate? I think so, because I need a little bit of child-free time. I always want to celebrate Mother's Day with a few hours alone.
Also, Gwen is making great strides in the potty department. I am actually getting a little excited about it. She has peed and pooped on the potty so often she has stopped asking for "a candy" after every time. In fact, as long as we are at home, and she is bottomless, she makes it every time. If I attempt to put panties on her, she will eventually pee in them.
It is only supposed to be 92 today and dropping into the lower 80s for Tuesday and Wednesday. There is also a slim chance, but still a chance, for rain this week. I will take it, gladly, if the clouds form into rain I will do a little rain dance. Or maybe I should do a rain dance and hope for rain.
I guess I have a few reasons to celebrate this week, but also? I have a little bit of a cold, and it is making me tired and lazy.
It is Cinco de Mayo, which is an excuse to drink many Coronas and party. Not something I ever celebrate, but it is huge here.
Sunday is Mother's Day. It doesn't mean anything to me really. Rhayn is excited about it, saying we need to go to church with my parents because there is something they are doing.
Saturday is Rhayn's last soccer game, and after that I have an afternoon shopping trip planned with a friend of mine. Her husband has graciously offered to watch the four kids (my 2 and their 2- all girls) while we shop, without kids. Is that a reason to celebrate? I think so, because I need a little bit of child-free time. I always want to celebrate Mother's Day with a few hours alone.
Also, Gwen is making great strides in the potty department. I am actually getting a little excited about it. She has peed and pooped on the potty so often she has stopped asking for "a candy" after every time. In fact, as long as we are at home, and she is bottomless, she makes it every time. If I attempt to put panties on her, she will eventually pee in them.
It is only supposed to be 92 today and dropping into the lower 80s for Tuesday and Wednesday. There is also a slim chance, but still a chance, for rain this week. I will take it, gladly, if the clouds form into rain I will do a little rain dance. Or maybe I should do a rain dance and hope for rain.
I guess I have a few reasons to celebrate this week, but also? I have a little bit of a cold, and it is making me tired and lazy.
20080407
MamaMonday: Change
Change is a good thing, right?
Since Will was here last week, we ate meat every day. We ate a lot of cow. A LOT. I love steak, don't get me wrong, but while he was gone before we rarely ate meat. I had the girls down to once or twice a week. And it was good. I felt good, all those tasty vegetables. I mean there are so many! And tofu, if prepared properly, is nummy. While he was here, well lets just say, my normal regularity was backed up, from eating differently.
I am changing our diet. I am taking the family not to complete vegetarian, but to partial.
Since Will was here last week, we ate meat every day. We ate a lot of cow. A LOT. I love steak, don't get me wrong, but while he was gone before we rarely ate meat. I had the girls down to once or twice a week. And it was good. I felt good, all those tasty vegetables. I mean there are so many! And tofu, if prepared properly, is nummy. While he was here, well lets just say, my normal regularity was backed up, from eating differently.
I am changing our diet. I am taking the family not to complete vegetarian, but to partial.
- I will not serve them meat more than twice a week.
- I will make sure our meals involve more than one vegetable.
- I will feel better about myself and the way I eat.
- I will make fresh bread at least once a week.
- I will not feed them McDonalds (which I HATE, but they love and we eat there once a month.)
20080331
MamaMonday: Wonder
As an adult, you lose the amazement you once had in everyday things. You forget the awe in just walking down the street. So we are given children. We are given a renewal of wonder, if we choose to embrace and encourage it.
Every day with a two year old is filled with wonder. Every day there are moment when, as the parent, we are given to choice to once again look at the bug with awe, or ignore the beauty of it's wings.
Every day with a seven year old is filled with questions. She wonders how things work, how they are made, who makes them, and why. Constant questions also filled with wonder as she learns about the workings of the world around her.
Do you choose to enjoy the wonder-filled days, with laughter and learning? Because it is the best way to keep your youth, to enjoy being a child all over again.
Every day with a two year old is filled with wonder. Every day there are moment when, as the parent, we are given to choice to once again look at the bug with awe, or ignore the beauty of it's wings.
Every day with a seven year old is filled with questions. She wonders how things work, how they are made, who makes them, and why. Constant questions also filled with wonder as she learns about the workings of the world around her.
Do you choose to enjoy the wonder-filled days, with laughter and learning? Because it is the best way to keep your youth, to enjoy being a child all over again.
20080324
MamaMonday: Spring
Spring is a time for new beginnings, right? The trees start anew, with fresh leaves. Plants poke their sleepy heads out of the ground, searching for warmth and light.
Legs, pasty agoraphobic legs, come out of hiding. People shed their winter layers and don fresh bright colors. Shorts! Skirts! Flip flops!
The best thing about the new beginnings feeling is that it reminds me that all of the negative things that have happened, all of the fears and doubts that I have had over the last little while, will not stay around forever. There will be new beginnings in my life as well. And I am happy about that.
Although in the desert southwest, spring doesn't really bring most of that. Shorts and skirts and flip flops remain in the forefront of our closets. Most trees keep their leaves and stay green (some are even more green) during the few months of winter that we have. Spring is more like an ending. An end of the beautiful, outdoors weather, and end to getting to wear jeans and cute hats. An end to leaving the windows open during the day. An end to not having the air conditioner on 24/7.
Yet, I welcome spring with open arms. At least the idea of it.
Legs, pasty agoraphobic legs, come out of hiding. People shed their winter layers and don fresh bright colors. Shorts! Skirts! Flip flops!
The best thing about the new beginnings feeling is that it reminds me that all of the negative things that have happened, all of the fears and doubts that I have had over the last little while, will not stay around forever. There will be new beginnings in my life as well. And I am happy about that.
Although in the desert southwest, spring doesn't really bring most of that. Shorts and skirts and flip flops remain in the forefront of our closets. Most trees keep their leaves and stay green (some are even more green) during the few months of winter that we have. Spring is more like an ending. An end of the beautiful, outdoors weather, and end to getting to wear jeans and cute hats. An end to leaving the windows open during the day. An end to not having the air conditioner on 24/7.
Yet, I welcome spring with open arms. At least the idea of it.
20080318
MamaMonday: Impress(ion)
It was January 29th, 2000.
I called this guy, Mike's house. We had known each other for years, fooled around a little, hung out a lot. He was always nice to me, and I enjoyed his and his friends' company. But this night, he wasn't home. Instead the voice on the other end of the line would change my life forever.
It wasn't a long talk, he told me to come on over, Mike would be back later, they were just hanging out drinking. I stopped at Circle K on the way to get coffee. Then drove my piece of crap car on over. I walked to the apartment, not going to the door, everyone was on the patio. I hopped up and sat down, and was introduced to him, the changer of my life. "I'm Will." He introduced me to his friend R, but I had met him long ago, in another life, at Mike's old apartment.
What was the first impression like? He was good looking, and so not like the other guys there. He seemed more together, but then- he was with R... so that might not mean anything.
Will and I talked about many things that night. I got the sense that he was a good person. I wanted to get to know him better. I gave him my number. But then Mike came home, and I felt in a way like his property. I mean, really I had come over to be with him. I wanted his companionship that night. I stayed there that night, with him. (No, Mike and I never had sex, he was alway a gentleman to me, and never tried to push that on me. He just really seemed to enjoy having a warm body next to him in his bed.)
I had been wrong so many time with those first impressions. So many men had seemed like good people, they really made me feel special, but it all went to hell all to quickly. Would Will live up to that expectation? I assumed he would never call me, I mean would you call some chick (or dude) who gave you her (his) number then kissed on and held hands with another man (woman) all night? Would you? I probably wouldn't have. I can tell you that I was completely shocked when he called me later that week and asked me out.
Years have gone by, and I wonder what his real first impression of me was. Did he just find me cute, and figure I would be entertaining? Did I come across really well? I know he told me that I was interesting, and not like the bimbos (that is not the term we used- it was bippy twat) that Mike usually brought home. I have never viewed myself as a bimbo, but can be an air head.
What was your very first impression of your mate? Did they make your toes curl the moment you met them? Did you know that they were the one from the second your eyes met across a smoky room? Were you set up by friends? Were you friends before you realized they were the perfect person, and you had wasted all of this time with other people?
I did not know he was the one until the second date. By then I was smitten. I knew I loved him, but having been hurt multiple times in the past I was afraid to tell him. I have always been fearful of those three little all important words. Fearful of what they mean to me, and to the other person. I am still afraid to tell Will, afraid it will hang in the air, unanswered and festering fast, even though I know he loves me. I only hope he knows how much I love him.
I called this guy, Mike's house. We had known each other for years, fooled around a little, hung out a lot. He was always nice to me, and I enjoyed his and his friends' company. But this night, he wasn't home. Instead the voice on the other end of the line would change my life forever.
It wasn't a long talk, he told me to come on over, Mike would be back later, they were just hanging out drinking. I stopped at Circle K on the way to get coffee. Then drove my piece of crap car on over. I walked to the apartment, not going to the door, everyone was on the patio. I hopped up and sat down, and was introduced to him, the changer of my life. "I'm Will." He introduced me to his friend R, but I had met him long ago, in another life, at Mike's old apartment.
What was the first impression like? He was good looking, and so not like the other guys there. He seemed more together, but then- he was with R... so that might not mean anything.
Will and I talked about many things that night. I got the sense that he was a good person. I wanted to get to know him better. I gave him my number. But then Mike came home, and I felt in a way like his property. I mean, really I had come over to be with him. I wanted his companionship that night. I stayed there that night, with him. (No, Mike and I never had sex, he was alway a gentleman to me, and never tried to push that on me. He just really seemed to enjoy having a warm body next to him in his bed.)
I had been wrong so many time with those first impressions. So many men had seemed like good people, they really made me feel special, but it all went to hell all to quickly. Would Will live up to that expectation? I assumed he would never call me, I mean would you call some chick (or dude) who gave you her (his) number then kissed on and held hands with another man (woman) all night? Would you? I probably wouldn't have. I can tell you that I was completely shocked when he called me later that week and asked me out.
Years have gone by, and I wonder what his real first impression of me was. Did he just find me cute, and figure I would be entertaining? Did I come across really well? I know he told me that I was interesting, and not like the bimbos (that is not the term we used- it was bippy twat) that Mike usually brought home. I have never viewed myself as a bimbo, but can be an air head.
What was your very first impression of your mate? Did they make your toes curl the moment you met them? Did you know that they were the one from the second your eyes met across a smoky room? Were you set up by friends? Were you friends before you realized they were the perfect person, and you had wasted all of this time with other people?
I did not know he was the one until the second date. By then I was smitten. I knew I loved him, but having been hurt multiple times in the past I was afraid to tell him. I have always been fearful of those three little all important words. Fearful of what they mean to me, and to the other person. I am still afraid to tell Will, afraid it will hang in the air, unanswered and festering fast, even though I know he loves me. I only hope he knows how much I love him.
20080310
MamaMonday: Sense
What is sense?
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary says it is:
1: a meaning conveyed or intended : import, signification; especially : one of a set of meanings a word or phrase may bear especially as segregated in a dictionary entry
2 a: the faculty of perceiving by means of sense organs b: a specialized function or mechanism (as sight, hearing, smell, taste, or touch) by which an animal receives and responds to external or internal stimuli c: the sensory mechanisms constituting a unit distinct from other functions (as movement or thought)
Then there is this thing called "common sense." I think that many people lack that. They don't understand why they aren't slender like a movie star. They can't understand why they have no energy, as they drive through yet another fast food restaurant. Isn't it common sense that eating fatty, no good for you foods= weight gain, that sitting on your couch day after day watching television= no energy and weight gain? There are so many people who don't do the things we need to be healthy and complain constantly about it. They don't exercise and can not understand why their body isn't "perfect."
Then the excuses come, and I am a master at coming up with excuses of why not to exercise. "I don't have time," "It is boring," "I don't know how,' The kids make in impossible." There are so many. I have used them all. Believe me, my husband has been pestering me to years to work out, "you will feel better/have more energy." But how is that possible? If I work out then won't I be tired. The answer to that is- yes. In the beginning you will feel more tired, but after a little while, you will feel energized. You will feel better.
I feel so much more alive, and happy when I am able to work out twice a week. Maybe someday I will make it more than that. Maybe someday I will work out three times a week and be in great shape. I just know that as I get older, my body needs more. My mind needs more. When I do exercise, even just stretching a few times a day, there is a burst of energy that is required to deal with Will being gone, the girls' never ending battles, and my own internal turmoil.
So, right now, I am taking that initiative and gathering myself and Gwennie Goo and I will work out. I will feel better. I will invigorate my senses.
(This post is not targeted at anyone in particular, so please do not take any offense! It is ramblings and my own realization that once again, my dear husband was right...read that Will? You. Were. Right.)
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary says it is:
1: a meaning conveyed or intended : import, signification; especially : one of a set of meanings a word or phrase may bear especially as segregated in a dictionary entry
2 a: the faculty of perceiving by means of sense organs b: a specialized function or mechanism (as sight, hearing, smell, taste, or touch) by which an animal receives and responds to external or internal stimuli c: the sensory mechanisms constituting a unit distinct from other functions (as movement or thought)
Then there is this thing called "common sense." I think that many people lack that. They don't understand why they aren't slender like a movie star. They can't understand why they have no energy, as they drive through yet another fast food restaurant. Isn't it common sense that eating fatty, no good for you foods= weight gain, that sitting on your couch day after day watching television= no energy and weight gain? There are so many people who don't do the things we need to be healthy and complain constantly about it. They don't exercise and can not understand why their body isn't "perfect."
Then the excuses come, and I am a master at coming up with excuses of why not to exercise. "I don't have time," "It is boring," "I don't know how,' The kids make in impossible." There are so many. I have used them all. Believe me, my husband has been pestering me to years to work out, "you will feel better/have more energy." But how is that possible? If I work out then won't I be tired. The answer to that is- yes. In the beginning you will feel more tired, but after a little while, you will feel energized. You will feel better.
I feel so much more alive, and happy when I am able to work out twice a week. Maybe someday I will make it more than that. Maybe someday I will work out three times a week and be in great shape. I just know that as I get older, my body needs more. My mind needs more. When I do exercise, even just stretching a few times a day, there is a burst of energy that is required to deal with Will being gone, the girls' never ending battles, and my own internal turmoil.
So, right now, I am taking that initiative and gathering myself and Gwennie Goo and I will work out. I will feel better. I will invigorate my senses.
(This post is not targeted at anyone in particular, so please do not take any offense! It is ramblings and my own realization that once again, my dear husband was right...read that Will? You. Were. Right.)
20080211
MamaMonday: Curiousity
At the botanical garden we encountered these scopes for viewing the distant mountains/hills. Will wanted to look at them, checking out Four Peaks, Mt. Ord and a few others. Rhayn however was obsessed with some balloons she could see down the road at a car dealership.
She had curiously scanned the horizon and found them, exclaiming excitedly "Balloons!" And showing them to Gwennie and myself.
20080204
MamaMonday: Focus
I need more focus. I need something besides Will leaving to focus on. He still hasn't gotten the OK so there is a chance he won't be leaving this week, but it isn't likely. What is more likely is that he will be told the night before he needs to leave that he is headed out. There will be scrambling and yelling while we try to get him packed up as quickly as possible. Let us hope that is not the way it goes down.
I want to focus on being happy in my own skin, happy as me. I want to focus on who that is exactly. Focus on ME.
20071217
Mama Monday #2 Notice
Notice.
Thanks Amy, for another inspiring word.
I have always heard that you notice more with your first child. You notice when they first walk and every little thing they do. However, I didn't. I have written down each and nearly every little silly thing Gwennie Goo does, but have little written about Rhayn.
Why? I was a young whipper snapper when Rhayn was born. My life was a mess. Will and I were not together, I lived with my parents. I was not in a place to be a mama. Yet, I was. I needed to pull myself out of teenager thinking (I hadn't be a teenager for a few years.) I needed to get myself together.
With Gwennie,we tried to make her. We talked and planned and it was the "right time." I noticed little things about my pregnant body from the get go. I read and asked questions. I made friends in the birth community. When she was born, I knew how fast it would go by. So I noticed the little things, I wrote them down. I knew that I would not always remember when her first tooth came in. I can look back at my blog and find it fairly easily. I love that I have so much written about Gwennie, however I feel like I neglect to notice Rhayn sometimes.
But I am determined to stop that. While I am at it, I am going to take notice of the other little things, like when Will cleans or makes dinner.
I am going to stop and smell the roses, just because.
Thanks Amy, for another inspiring word.
I have always heard that you notice more with your first child. You notice when they first walk and every little thing they do. However, I didn't. I have written down each and nearly every little silly thing Gwennie Goo does, but have little written about Rhayn.
Why? I was a young whipper snapper when Rhayn was born. My life was a mess. Will and I were not together, I lived with my parents. I was not in a place to be a mama. Yet, I was. I needed to pull myself out of teenager thinking (I hadn't be a teenager for a few years.) I needed to get myself together.
With Gwennie,we tried to make her. We talked and planned and it was the "right time." I noticed little things about my pregnant body from the get go. I read and asked questions. I made friends in the birth community. When she was born, I knew how fast it would go by. So I noticed the little things, I wrote them down. I knew that I would not always remember when her first tooth came in. I can look back at my blog and find it fairly easily. I love that I have so much written about Gwennie, however I feel like I neglect to notice Rhayn sometimes.
But I am determined to stop that. While I am at it, I am going to take notice of the other little things, like when Will cleans or makes dinner.
I am going to stop and smell the roses, just because.
20071211
Mama Monday #1 ~Door
Thanks to Amy for starting up a new tradition. Mama Monday. I know its Tuesday, and I know that chances are I will post these every Tuesday, but I want to be a part of it none-the-less!
Door-
I am opening the door to my soul slowly. I am trying to let others in. I want people to know me and to know that the door works both ways. I want them to find me easy to talk to and easy to get along with.
This is hard for me. I have had my door shut and locked for so long that it is stuck. I need WD-40 on the hinges to allow it to easy swing open. But with each time I open it, the squeak lessens and the door opens more easily.
This blog is one way I have opened that door. With it I allow parts of myself I would normally hide away to see the light. Even though I know people, like my mom and sister and cousins read it. It has allowed me to say things I normally wouldn't say. This has carried over into real life.
The part of me that compliments and tells people that I am glad to see them is open. It swings easily to allow me to say these things in emails and comments as well as to their face. It also allows me to accept these in return.
The door to my self was a giant heavy metal door, with multiple locks and only one key. That door is gone and hopefully soon it will have a nice glass door in its place. Maybe I will keep a wooden door behind it just in case I need to be alone. But I hope to leave it open and clear and free most of the time.
Door-
I am opening the door to my soul slowly. I am trying to let others in. I want people to know me and to know that the door works both ways. I want them to find me easy to talk to and easy to get along with.
This is hard for me. I have had my door shut and locked for so long that it is stuck. I need WD-40 on the hinges to allow it to easy swing open. But with each time I open it, the squeak lessens and the door opens more easily.
This blog is one way I have opened that door. With it I allow parts of myself I would normally hide away to see the light. Even though I know people, like my mom and sister and cousins read it. It has allowed me to say things I normally wouldn't say. This has carried over into real life.
The part of me that compliments and tells people that I am glad to see them is open. It swings easily to allow me to say these things in emails and comments as well as to their face. It also allows me to accept these in return.
The door to my self was a giant heavy metal door, with multiple locks and only one key. That door is gone and hopefully soon it will have a nice glass door in its place. Maybe I will keep a wooden door behind it just in case I need to be alone. But I hope to leave it open and clear and free most of the time.
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