MamaMonday: Impress(ion)

It was January 29th, 2000.

I called this guy, Mike's house. We had known each other for years, fooled around a little, hung out a lot. He was always nice to me, and I enjoyed his and his friends' company. But this night, he wasn't home. Instead the voice on the other end of the line would change my life forever.

It wasn't a long talk, he told me to come on over, Mike would be back later, they were just hanging out drinking. I stopped at Circle K on the way to get coffee. Then drove my piece of crap car on over. I walked to the apartment, not going to the door, everyone was on the patio. I hopped up and sat down, and was introduced to him, the changer of my life. "I'm Will." He introduced me to his friend R, but I had met him long ago, in another life, at Mike's old apartment.

What was the first impression like? He was good looking, and so not like the other guys there. He seemed more together, but then- he was with R... so that might not mean anything.

Will and I talked about many things that night. I got the sense that he was a good person. I wanted to get to know him better. I gave him my number. But then Mike came home, and I felt in a way like his property. I mean, really I had come over to be with him. I wanted his companionship that night. I stayed there that night, with him. (No, Mike and I never had sex, he was alway a gentleman to me, and never tried to push that on me. He just really seemed to enjoy having a warm body next to him in his bed.)

I had been wrong so many time with those first impressions. So many men had seemed like good people, they really made me feel special, but it all went to hell all to quickly. Would Will live up to that expectation? I assumed he would never call me, I mean would you call some chick (or dude) who gave you her (his) number then kissed on and held hands with another man (woman) all night? Would you? I probably wouldn't have. I can tell you that I was completely shocked when he called me later that week and asked me out.

Years have gone by, and I wonder what his real first impression of me was. Did he just find me cute, and figure I would be entertaining? Did I come across really well? I know he told me that I was interesting, and not like the bimbos (that is not the term we used- it was bippy twat) that Mike usually brought home. I have never viewed myself as a bimbo, but can be an air head.

What was your very first impression of your mate? Did they make your toes curl the moment you met them? Did you know that they were the one from the second your eyes met across a smoky room? Were you set up by friends? Were you friends before you realized they were the perfect person, and you had wasted all of this time with other people?

I did not know he was the one until the second date. By then I was smitten. I knew I loved him, but having been hurt multiple times in the past I was afraid to tell him. I have always been fearful of those three little all important words. Fearful of what they mean to me, and to the other person. I am still afraid to tell Will, afraid it will hang in the air, unanswered and festering fast, even though I know he loves me. I only hope he knows how much I love him.