You'll get over it

I am going to talk a lot about puking, so if that sort of thing makes you ill... well then just skip this post. OK? You've been warned!

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Blarg. That is how I feel right now. Well not right RIGHT now. I just ate a piece of toast with almond butter and honey on it so tummy has settled down just a tad. All day long I feel queasy. Its ridiculous. I mean did I really block this part of pregnancy from my mind so thoroughly that it has hit me with full force and I was blindsided by it?

Will told me he thinks this time is worse, too. But he was in OCS (Officer Candidate School) during my pregnancy with Gwennie and I reminded him that he probably wouldn't have noticed if he came home and I was laying in a pool of my own vomit. I didn't share with him as much then either. He gets to hear all about the puking, and queasy feeling this time.

I just read the few posts I wrote on my blog from this part of pregnancy with Gwennie. The sickness hit about 5 weeks 2 days (pretty dead on this time, too.) I was unable to sleep due to the nausea at this point in that pregnancy. I was excited to read that by 10 weeks I was feeling remarkably better. Also that it didn't go away totally by that point but was better. There is hope.

Yesterday I threw up three times. Puking up milk is really gross, I think it has to be my least favorite thing to vomit up so far. I usually have time to grab a big cup of water to take with me by the toilet so that I don't dry heave, those hurt (I've done that twice this morning so far.) Its not at all like having the flu or food poisoning. I can think about puking and I am all right. However thinking about FOOD makes me gag some times.

Its rather funny, in a not so funny way, to be sitting on the floor hunched around the toilet, resting my head on the seat, wishing that I could puke, or that I would stop puking. At least its making me keep our toilets clean.

I miss being at the same stage of pregnancy as my sister. She is due in about 7 weeks, my SIL is 20 weeks. It was fun going out to eat with them and talking about the different stages of our pregnancies. (Can I say I am glad that at least I am not constipated, as long as I drink enough fluids during the day I stay regular with out any help.) I am excited to meet my new niece and nephew. Its going to be fun having all of these babies and kids so close together. Makes for more fun when we all get together!

I think my baby is grandbaby #13 for my parents... lucky #13? Is that right? (Mom?) I've no idea how many are on the other side.

Update

For over two weeks I have held it in, close to my heart. Our little secret. I shared it only with those I felt I might need were something to go wrong, or those I was just too excited to tell. I waited it out, not wanting the disappointment again of losing something.

I am baring it all once again. Things look good. The symptoms I never got last time, because it all ended so early are here and in full force. Nothing smells appetizing. Nothing tastes good. I can barely eat. I gag all day long. I want to sleep all day long. Its wonderful and terrible at the same time.

I force myself to eat, nibbling at the moment on cold pinto beans. Knowing that eating makes the queasiness go away, if only for a short while. I allow myself to throw up, because its easier than trying (unsuccessfully) not to. I let myself sleep, knowing that Rhayn will take care of Gwennie and that Will will feed then dinner when he gets home at night.

I am thankful for this, and know it is short lived. In 6 or so weeks this nausea will taper off. In the end, in a mere 34ish weeks time, we will welcome a new member into our family. The girls are excited. Gwennie seems a little nervous about it. She asks me about the baby and loves looking at pictures of the growing embryo in "A Child is Born" and tells me and everyone else that the reason I feel so bad is because of the baby.

Its beautiful. Its exciting. Its terrifying.

I had an ultrasound on Monday and measured 6 weeks. "Clover" (my nickname for the baby that will be born around St. Patrick's Day although I have considered "Bunny" because he/she will be born in the year of the rabbit) had a tiny little heartbeat, even though there was really only a dot to see.

Gratitude Monday

This week I am thankful for

• summer being nearly over. We still have about four weeks but that isn't much time at all.
  
• the last week for swim lessons. Gwennie finally started liking the swim lessons just in time for the end of summer.
• clouds. Even though I don't think we have gotten more than 2 raindrops here at our house, I love the cloud cover that blows in every day.
  

Semi-Silent Sunday

Rhayn had to wait until after her ballet performance for the haircut that she wanted. It was worth the wait! Isn't her hair pretty? I love the au natural highlights the summer gives her.
By the way, this is a hairstyle I have always loved. But having wavy hair, its a cut I can't pull off without lots of work. Still, it fits her wonderfully.

I'm a WINNER!

I won a blog contest recently. I was so excited to do so because I won a Nimble Nester Stacking Arches from Little Sapling Toys.Gwennie was very excited and asked if it could be her toy. I told her "no". I just want to look at the wood. Gwennie also asked if we could color it. She has been really into coloring wood lately, which I really don't like. We had bought some wooden chickens at Rhayn's school store at the end of the year and they both had to color the wood to look like a chicken.

But come on? How pretty does this look on the table I made last year? So pretty. If they color it I am going to be very unhappy!

On a side note, I am baking banana bread in our toaster oven (its a counter top convection oven, too) and it smells so good. Mmmm can not wait to eat that!

Inspriation

Yesterday I posted about needing some craft projects to make it through a rough time. Here are a few websites that I have found lately that have really inspired me.

Prudent Baby- this one has a project I started work on yesterday. I crocheted the top part of the Quick Crochet and Fabric top. After learning how to treble crochet it was quick.

***Edited to add- I finished one of these today, a Gwennie sized dress style one using fabric I already had (pink with "Noonicorns" on it.) It was harder than it looks. Also I ended up pleating instead of gathering. I have some ideas to make it better (read as easier for me) and I have the crocheted part of another one done already (its much smaller, like the size of a nearly 2 year old Melanie?) I have a lot of cute fabric and it only takes about 1/2 a yard total to make them. (I'll take a picture later.)

Lusa Organics- I really want to make this sunhat for Rhayn for school.

Frugal Family Fun Blog- there are some really fun crafts to make with the kids on this one!

The Purl Bee- I want to make one of these zippered dopp kits for myself.

So, if you have any inspirational blog links pass them along! I'd love some more ideas!

I am in need of projects. Crafty type projects. So if any of you have ideas... toss them on over this way.

Gratitude Monday

I missed last week and it showed in my life. I need this weekly reminder of the good things I have in my life. Lets see what we can come up with this week, shall we?

I am thankful for these things:

• Playdates, they break up the monotony of the week and give the girls something to look forward to.
• My health. Really aside from occasional and tolerable migraines and some mild allergies, I am healthy.
  
• Listening to Gwennie play in the tub.
  
• Kids' bravery. This week, even though Gwennie was scared of the diving board, she went to swim lessons with minimal fuss every day. She frets about it, but she goes anyway. On Saturday Rhayn had a ballet performance and that requires a lot of bravery, too. She did an excellent job and didn't seem nervous at all. I may dislike taking her every week to lessons, but I can see the good it brings to her.
• Will, it was his birthday on Friday. I'm not sure why but his birthdays always seem to be hard on him, but he put on a happy face for us. Even though it was his birthday he stopped to help one of our friends with a computer problem and grilled up a bunch of chicken tikka. Plus, he is just doing so much right now that I can't even begin to explain my gratitude for him and all his accomplishments.
  

Semi-Silent Sunday part 2 FOOD!

Ok so I couldn't wait to post pictures of our dinner. This meal came out so deliciously that I want to share it with everyone! Unfortunately for you all, I can't do that. I am sharing it with my lovely sister. I owe her curry, she has helped me a few times and I appreciate that so much. (Even though it was an indirect help because she watched Hairball's kid so we could go see Eclipse.) Now I am all full and happy. I am off to read the rest of The Titan's Curse.

Silent Sunday

Stuff

This weekend is going to be busy. Rhayn has a ballet performance on Saturday. The rehearsal is at 9, she needs to be in full costume and make-up. This is after I pick up co-op produce at 7am.

Have I mentioned how tired I am? Last night I went out with a couple of friends to see Eclipse. We didn't get home until nearly 1am, and then of course I was wide awake because of all of the things we had talked about after the movie. I may have fallen asleep around 2. Rhayn had stayed the night at a friend's house and so Gwennie was sleeping in our bed. Gwennie can't sleep alone. I put her in her bed or the spare twin we have in our room and she was back in my bed (her feet in the small of my back) a few hours later. Needless to say I didn't sleep that well.

Today is Will's birthday, too. We didn't do anything special at all. Hopefully he was ok with that. I know he doesn't care for his birthday, its just another day after all. The girls and I bought him a Wii remote (so now we have 2) and they are playing a few games before bed.

Swim Lessons

"I am happy

about the slide
and about how we get
a popschl
it is the last day."
~gwennie

The girls have been making a summer journal. Nearly every day they write something. Usually I give them a prompt, such as "I like to ______ with my mom/dad." But today I let them write what they wanted. Today is the end of session 3 of the summer swim lessons. We missed the first session, Gwennie missed the second session, too. The last day they have to show all that they have learned, then they are given a certificate and a popsicle. (or popschl as Rhayn wrote in Gwennie's journal.) As you can tell, Gwennie is excited to go down the slide again. She really enjoyed it last time.

Drawing still, she covered up the "naked man" she was putting shorts on.

"Today is the end
of swim lessons
and than I will
by in level 4."
~rhayn

I feel disconnected from the world. Lost in my own empty head. I haven't anything to write about. I want to write but nothing comes out when I sit here with "new post" open. Hopefully something comes to me soon... because I miss blogging.

Silent Sunday (jealousy edition- My Dad's garden)

Curries and thoughts.

Happy Saturday, I was awakened in the night with a migraine. It kept waking me up. I got up and felt awful. After making myself eat breakfast I went back to bed until 11.

I have so much on my mind but can't even begin to write about it. I need some time to stew on these thoughts.

Tonight we are going out for curry with our friends. Mmmm, chicken tikka masala, papadum, mint chutney, oh I am salivating just thinking about it all. *drool*

Brave Swimming Girl

Waiting in fear for her turn on the diving board.

Walking over to her teacher. Brave Girl.

And then she was tossed in.

But she made it and Rhayn gave her a big hug.

Her fun wasn't over, next up the slide.

But she did it, no problem at all.
My brave girl.

Where I grew up

I love going to my parents' house. I love the way that even ten years later I still feel "at home" there. I hope I always do. Even though their house looks better than it ever did while all five of us (I am the oldest child of five if you didn't know) and our friends and foster kids, neighbor kids, dogs and cats lived there. Its the place I fell in love for the first time. It is the place I felt safest during some difficult times of my life, where I went to escape from bad relationships. I'm glad my kids get to spend time there, making their own memories.

the house is quiet
yet sit still,
you can hear
the echos of that boisterous bunch.

the walls are clean
fresh paint covers
all the marks
made by years of kids coloring.

the front porch waits
for conversations
while watching
electrical storms and sunsets

the trees have grown
or died off
branches spread
and new trees live in lone spaces.

the smells of youth
filter through
different
odors of new memories made.

The b-word

Whew this week is flying by! Seriously its already Wednesday?! I guess this is good as it has seemed like everything had slowed down lately.
I am so proud of Gwennie, yesterday she did bobs during swim lessons without being asked and without a word of complaint. She is learning to swim and its quite exciting!
I hope to have something to blog about soon, because lately I have had to struggle to come up with anything to write about. Even this total crap blog post is a struggle.
We are going to my parents house so maybe there will be a story to write about that. Um, yeah one can hope because this blog is getting b-o-r-i-n-g.

Gratitude Mondays

Today I am thankful for the sun and the great things that come along with her, such as summer swim lessons. Gwennie had her first (of this summer) swim lesson today. Rhayn's been going for 2 weeks. Gwennie worried and fussed over the lesson. All weekend she worried about it. She sat in the corner of the pool whimpering about how she needed goggles and she didn't like to be in the pool and also? She was NOT going to do "bobs". Luckily for us all Will had today off and was able to come along. Gwennie didn't want to disappoint her dad, so she was really good in her swim lesson. She earned a pair of goggles which we went to Target to purchase.After that we went to one of the city's nicest pool and spent a few hours playing in the water. Will worked with Rhayn on her swimming, and she really had a great time swimming laps. Gwennie actually let her face get wet in the splash part. If you know Gwennie but at all, you now she doesn't like getting her face wet. (Not in the shower, not in the pool, not at all.)
I sat on the edge of the zero entry part and got some sun. Which leads me to another thing I am thankful for, vitamin D's fantastic healing ability. Yesterday I felt a little sad and grumpy, after some time in the sun I feel great, albeit exhausted. What a nice day.

Silent Sunday

All Done

A Matter of Perspective

The cutting part of the quilt is done. I laid it on the floor to check it, and make sure that I hadn't missed a square. (Good thing because I had missed one.) Lily came to check it out, first sitting on the front and then getting comfortable on the back. I think the quilt looks small in the picture where she is sitting on the front. In the second picture the quilt looks massive. (Lily wants to know when I am making one for her.)

At this moment the quilt is in the wash. After that it will go into the dryer and then, tonight Rhayn can use it on her bed. She's so excited!

Sew What? A Rag Quilt!

Back in April Rhayn asked me if we could make a quilt for her. We purchased some fabric for it to be a summer project. Yesterday we finally bought the fabric for the back and started the long task of cutting out squares. I finished cutting squares this morning and then sewed an X on the squares to make a rag quilt. It laid out on the toy/bonus/craft room floor. This is going to be a large quilt. But we hope this one will stick with her a long time. She already had one but it was pastel pinks and purples. This one fits in her current favorite color palate. I am pretty excited about it, because you can already see what it will look like. Gwennie was pleased to recieve the old rag quilt and enjoys sleeping under it.

Tomorrow we'll sew all of the pieces together and begin clipping the edges. (In the link explaining how to make a rag quilt it says that printed fabrics do not fray well. I did not find this to be true as the last one we made frayed just fine.)