Come on Come on

So what can I do to start labor?
Nipple stimulation, long walks, spicy foods, sex...

I wonder if any of those will work for me, and if not what can I try next. Its not that I am in a hurry to not be pregnant any more, I am just worried that a.) she will turn again and be breech and b.) my fluid level was a little low, so that is not good. (it was on the "low end of normal" according to the nurse at the hospital.)
As for the fluid level, the midwife has given me instructions to drink LOTS of water (more than usual- this means LOTS, like gallons!) and to sit in the bath for 30 mins 2-3 times today. I should be peeing at least every half hour.
I am to repeat that tomorrow.

Thursday I have yet another ultrasound scheduled, to check the fluid level. So once again I will be leaving the house. I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay home. I keep hoping that I will go into labor so that I will not have to go any where for at least a few days!

I am looking at the O/B Ultrasound order that Midwife sent me. Last time the place hadn't received it, and had to call her. So this time she sent it to them AND me. I am tired of this, I am tired of having to be checked for these things. I want to relax and get ready for her birth- instead of worrying- which I know is NOT helping! So what can I do to relax?

I guess I will go sit in the bath for 30 minutes, then take a nap. Its going to be another long monotonous evening.

This website has some helpful information...

Couple of pictures

This picture is of the neat Diaper Babies that Stacey made for both of us.
The bottom one is pretty self explanatory, we were comparing bellies! Mine is much more "out there."

I wonder who will be born first? Any guesses? I was sure my baby would be born tomorrow, but right now, I am hoping she waits and turns head down first. dacheese is thinking of the 25th.

Come on- guesses? - dates and weights!?

38 weeks 2 days

Belly picture

Its Army weekend, so Will is gone tonight and tomorrow night. Its lonely when he isn't here. I can't imagine what life would be like without him, even if he is being- well a jerk.

Rhayn drew a picture of her baby sister on my belly. She always draws the baby laying down, so if she draws a picture of our family we will all be standing, except baby sister who will usually be laying in the grass. Sometimes she draws her still" in the belly." She will draw me, then baby sister across my stomach then Rhayn colors over the baby. You can see the baby, but its a dark blob. I love watching her draw. Notice the sun and grass? There is a yellow flower near my navel, too. Today she says baby sister will have green eyes like her and daddy, but most of the time, she will say baby sister is going to have BROWN eyes like mommy (I am hoping for brown eyes! She would be the first brown-eyed baby, unless Bri has a brown-eyed baby before me! Hee heee!)

I was really freaked out earlier. Will was supposed to get some telephone numbers for me, just in case I go into labor while he is on duty. He didn't and so I was calling his work and freaking out. He didn't take a mobile phone, so it was no use calling that. (Not that he can answer it while he is on duty.) He finally called me a little after 4 pm with some numbers. I was so relieved. I don't think I will go into labor this weekend, but you never know AND its better to know that I can get ahold of him just in case. It really relieved that stress level!

Today all in all was a fairly uneventful day. I woke up early to the sound of thunder (it started at 6:15 and woke Will and I up.) We woke, but didn't GET up until after 7. When he left for work, I went back to bed. Rhayn watched Harry Potter (which she used to call "Peter Potter") while I slept. She read the baby stories and let me sleep until 11 am. I needed it. When I got out of bed we made lunch. Then I painted our downstairs bathroom (faux finish- it looks strange, but I think its because I am not used to it yet- it was white before... the color really warms it up.) When I finished with that is was about 3 pm. That was when I freaked out about Will and phone numbers. At 4 we ordered a pizza and relaxed.

Tomorrow is Collin's birthday party. I am supposed to take a side dish- hmmmm. I don't know what to take- maybe I'll stop at Costco on the way and pick up a veggie tray or fruit tray. I don't want to make anything. Rhayn and I picked out an outfit for Collin, because Hairball requested NO TOYS, and I totally understand that! Half of my clutter problem is toys, which ones do I get rid of? Most of the ones Rhayn plays with are baby friendly, because we never really started buying her the toys with little parts (because we knew we would have another!) She loves her Little People toys, and I love them, too. I want to get her the zoo for Christmas- but I think its more for me than her... Then again... she does play with them! AND they are baby friendly! I guess we'll just wait and see. We have also talked about getting an aquarium for us all for Christmas. Rhayn has mentioned wanting fish on several occasions and it would be something we could all enjoy. I think I will look into them, and see what kind I would like to get, probably a bigger one. I am not sure I am up for salt water, though. Since I will be the one taking care of it!

Will started some herbs, oregano, basil, cilantro, mints, and a few more. He never remembers to water them. I have no problem getting plants started HOWEVER once they reach a certain point, I seem to kill them. I did NOT inherit my dad's green thumbs! I think I am too impatient, or maybe I just have issues with not watering enough. I know when they are first starting they need a lot of water, and I am ok with that. Once they get to a certain point... I neglect watering. I haven't killed too many plants at this house- only a hibiscus, a ruella, and a few cypress trees. I am getting better. But I made Will in charge of watering, he turns our drip system on 2-3 times a week for 3 hours. I just can't make myself leave it on that long- OR I forget to turn it off until the next morning. We did have a gopher problem, too. They chewed a hole in our drip system. Grrr...

Well I suppose I should go to bed, I am feeling very tired and crampy. Earlier I could feel the baby laying SIDEWAYS! One end near my lower left abdomen and the other end in the upper right (near but not in my ribs.) It was strange because I had not noticed her laying like that before. Maybe if she was breech- that is her moving back. It wasn't painful, so she could do something like that while I am asleep. I don't know. I think we just have to wait and see. Ultrasound Monday- only a few days- Stay put little girl!

Labor Day- and I am still pregnant (whew!)

Another day is nearing its end. The Sky is filling with clouds that are not quite rain- but could easily turn into a nice storm.



Ah- the Monsoon season is wonderful.
The smell of wet creosote.
That special wet desert smell.
Beautiful electrical storms.
Sitting on the porch watching the storm roll in. I wish I could do that all of the time.

I spent the morning cleaning up our back porch. We figured out where the cricket problem was coming from, those things were breeding in the things piled all over the patio. If you have ever had a pet that required live crickets for food, well our backyard looked like those cages at a pet store. The ones with cardboard and paper towels and a million hopping annoyances. Its all because we had started a patio cover project early summer and the heat and all of our obligations had slowed it to nearly a stop. The roof is on, it just needs electrical and stucco. Almost done.

I swear I will get a picture of me SMILING and pregnant. Its not because I am not happy, I just can't seem to capture myself SMILING!

My mom called a little while ago, because my Great Aunt Florence died on Saturday. My mom and dad had planned to go visit her on Sunday. I hope that she is happier in Heaven. I wish I had known her a little more, too. This reminds me that I really need to go and spend some time with my own Gramma.

I have just had trouble, because of being hormonally pregnant. There are certain people who just get under my skin and for some reason Gramma is one of them! I am sure after baby is born, I will feel better and be able to spend some quality time with her. Plus right now, I am NOT driving that far. I have contractions that make me stop to breathe through them every now and then. That is NOT good while I am driving. I just hope to pop this baby out soon! (Next week would be great! hee hee.)

I had nightmares all night that this baby was going to be born. I even was woken up by pains a few times. In one dream I was transferred to the hospital, but my midwife couldn't tell me why. In another Rhayn was the one who was having the baby and I was trying to get her to the hospital because she was only 30 weeks or so. But when her baby was born I was nursing her.

I do NOT want any more crazy pregnancy dreams! They will end soon, right??

Fears

I feel weird today. Not like I am going into labor or anything, but the anxiety is a bit overwhelming! I feel like maybe I have dropped. I feel lower than I have and it worries me. Maybe I have just been standing up more today? I really hope that is all it is, because the idea that labor is coming scares me.

We just aren't ready to have her yet. I mean physically we are, but emotionally- I am not ready! Plus its too early. I am barely 35 weeks!

Maybe I am just getting to a point where I am dwelling on her upcoming birth. I have spent many hours wondering what life will be like after she comes. I feel afraid that I will be unable to give to her the undying love I have for Rhayn. Will she be "second best?" Its not possible, because she was so planned and she was longer for. Yet I wonder how it will be. I know that the heart expands and we have enough love for more than one person or child.

I love Will with all of my heart, and I love Rhayn. But they are different loves, so will I love baby differently than I love Rhayn? Will it be a thus far undiscovered love? Is my choice to make her arrival different and to do things differently going to affect how I feel about her and how I feel about Rhayn? Will being able to nurse her heal wounds from not being able to nurse Rhayn? What will happen if I am unable to nurse her as well?

There are so many questions, fears, worries running through my mind. Is this part of nesting for her? I baked so much and cleaned so much when I was nesting with Rhayn. I wanted to sew and did. This time- I have the desire to do those things, BUT I have not found the drive. So I am waiting.

Today I did get all of those tiny little clothes washed and folded and put away into her drawers. I have everything ready, I think. But am I ready? Am I really ready?

How can I prepare myself? How can I prepare Rhayn? How can I prepare Will? Is there anything we really can do to prepare?

33 1/2 weeks pregnant

its been a while!

I started a babiesonline website and have been posting there, too. But I really wanted to update this site, too.

Rhayn has been so awful lately- I swear that she is going through one of "those" stages- the ones when you want to scream. She keeps telling me "no" and ignoring me when I tell her things. She will even LOOK at me- and proceed to do exactly what I told her not to do. Its been frustrating, because I feel so emotional and I can not deal with this as well as normally I would be able to. Like just now- I told her "no more tv today." She got mad and threw herself on the floor and whined about it.So I said stop... she says "you said i could after...." and I said well you watched too much tv this morning. Sobbing and whining... its so irritating! I know she is bored and staying home can be frustrating, but we are going out later this afternoon, so she can just freaking deal with it. She has so many toys that I would think she would be FINE!

ARGH!