Last night was rough. At a little after nine I went upstairs to go to bed. Natalie was sleepy but not yet asleep, so I figured we would lay in bed and nurse while I read (I am re-reading Twilight if you must know.) So we settled in for that. Only within moments, Natalie was fussing at the breast. She was fighting it like crazy. I knew she wasn't starving, having spent a good portion of the last 1/2 hour downstairs nursing. I also wasn't having a serious letdown that could be bothering her. I had no idea what was wrong.

I burped her and lay her over my side in case her tummy was gassy. After a little while she dozed off. But then we repeated that- fuss, nurse, fuss, burp, sleep, fuss, for about an hour. At 11 I started walking around. I had turned on the television, given up on reading about Bella's love for Edward and his total perfection, and was zoning out on Rachel's infatuation with Joey (watching Friends season 9). I attempted to swaddle her with a Kiddopotamus swaddling blanket that my sister had given me, thinking it might help. She liked her bottom half in the blanket, in fact she is still happily swaddled in it now, but she did not like having her hands in it. She likes her hands up by her face.She pooped a couple of times and seemed to feel better after we went through 3 diapers. But was still fussy if we lay down on the bed. Finally I ended up dragging my lazyboy to the side of the tv, so I could watch it and rock her. I'm not sure when she finally fell asleep but I had also dozed off in the chair. I woke up a little after midnight, my neck hurting and she was sound asleep. I moved us both into the bed fingers crossed that she would remain sleeping and thankfully she did.

Around 3 am, she was still sleeping but Lily decided that she needed to go outside. I ignored her for a while, but she got progressively more annoying the longer I ignored her. She ran up and down the stairs, entering the bedroom whining around the bed, stopping on both sides to whine and whimper. Now you may ask why Will didn't get up with her. Honestly I don't know. But he doesn't sleep upstairs with me. Our bed is really uncomfortable and hurts his back (it is too soft even for me.) We don't currently have money to replace it, so for now, he sleeps on the couch. He is much better at ignoring Lily than I am. I don't know how, as she can be very persistent.

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep. But I still popped up, wide awake, just after 6 am. Not fun.

At 7, Will woke up Rhayn. She looked awful when she came downstairs. I asked her what was wrong and she mentioned that she threw up, and her throat and head hurt. I took her temperature, which was fine. I had her sit at the table and try to eat some breakfast. She didn't feel any better after that. So I sent her back to bed. Usually when she is sick, she lays on the couch all day and watches tv. I don't know if I'll let her do that. I may have her stay in her room because if she starts feeling better right away and wants to come out, then she probably was faking sick (which she has tried a few times.)

Today is also "Army day", as in Will is leaving for duty for 9 days. I am trying not to feel anxious about that, but I can not help it. I am worried about dealing with all three girls on my own while he is gone. I am worried about driving Rhayn to school, getting groceries, making sure we are all fed, while he is gone.

Thankfully I was able to dodge the mastitis bullet, I did end up with a fever of 103.7 at its height but it broke early the next morning. I took a couple of hot baths with warm compresses on my breasts and by the next day (Wednesday) had no fever at all. Whew! The last thing I needed was to be that sick and dealing with everything around here. I have decided that I will take it easy, sure the house is a mess, but I will clean only enough to make it less stressful, until I feel 100%. I feel pretty good physically, my crotch is healing nicely, my 'roids are slowly going away. I am feeling hungry again and able to eat nearly everything. (Pass me a bean burrito, please!) Life is really looking up there.

Now to just make it through the next few weeks.