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I think I am done with it. Done with being a cow. Gwen is old enough and can fall asleep on her own. She easily calms herself if she is upset, or is calmed by snuggles. Does she need to keep nursing? Does she need to still get "gup"?

But then I am torn on it. I want her to be alright with being weaned. And I think she isn't totally ready. She still asks me at least three times a day for gup. Once when we first wake up (the answer is "No, lets go have breakfast.") Once around nap time (the answer is sometimes "yes, then we'll have a nap.") And usually around 8 pm when she is getting sleepy. She doesn't fall asleep at the breast anymore,unless she is sick.

When she nurses, her face still has a little baby look, while her body is stretching into a big girl. I stare down at her, and think back, glad I have pictures like this one. There are things I won't miss about nursing, like my repeated cases of mastitis but so many other wonderful moments that I will miss. The past few years my life has pretty much revolved around nursing. My posts about nursing are many. And some are not even on that because I didn't get labels until later.

I know that at Rhayn's school, through friends made there, I have support for extended breastfeeding. I have support to keep going as long as she needs it. But does she? Do I?

I wish there was a cut and dry answer. Maybe we will just keep going as we are. See where this takes us. Or should I just stop.

Such a personal choice. Such a personal decision.

4 comments:

Mo said...

Emmie still nurses once a day in the morning after she wakes up. She sometimes asks for it at other times but I always distract her. She nurses for such a short time now, it is almost like checking in, and I am sure that one morning I could completely distract her so that she doesn't ask anymore but, well............you know, it is hard to let that go for me too. She is our last baby, and I know that I will not nurse another. That makes me so sad but is probably not enough of a reason to continue. On the other hand, it isn't doing any harm to keep on going as long as she needs me. It is all such a short time really.

abeNanna said...

Honestly what is the rush? Looking back I know I thought things had to be done in a timely manner. After all if my kids weren't out of diapers by two I wasn't doing my job. Is there a perfect time? As long as you don't have to go to school with her so that she can nurse, it really shouldn't matter. Love ya.

leaner said...

Even if she did nurse at school, it wouldn't be weird! Well, maybe, but I know a few mamas who nursed their littles into the 4s and 5s. And more power to them!

Amy said...

I'm so glad you wrote about this. I have an 18-month-old who is at this point....wanting but not needing to nurse. Sometimes a thought will flash through my mind and I contemplate cutting her off cold turky. Then my reasonable side says "what's the rush?"

It's nice to know that other mother's are going through the same thing.

Whatever your choice, I'm sure it will be the right one.

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