20080530

I need...

help. Mental, physical, something.

I have been crying over everything. If Will was home, I would swear I was pregnant. Seriously. I watch telly and my eyes fill with tears. I read a book and... you guessed it... I start crying. Yesterday my mom took the girls and I to see The Chronicles of Narnia; Prince Caspian and you know what? I bawled. It was such a good movie. I mean, so lovely, so heart wrenching. Just thinking about it makes my eyes tear again. Then today? Yeah, my stupid self put the movie P.S. I Love You on my netflix cue. What was I thinking watching that? I do not think I stopped weeping from start to finish. And you think its just because I was watching/reading sappy stories filled with love lost? Well that was part of it. But why would I cry at Friends when Chandler's mom come to visit and makes out with Ross? Huh? Tell me what part of that was worthy of a few tissues?

I think that the strain of this is getting to me. The realization that in one week, Will shall be home, but that only means we will be that much closer to the long, hard road. I am not celebrating that he will be home soon, I am only worrying about him leaving again. I think I did this before. But I want to celebrate his home coming. I want to be jubilant that for a while, at least, he will be home to hold and love, and snog.

I guess I will just try to revel in the little things... like that I finally purchased Twilight at the book store. I was so sick of hearing about it's greatness. I wanted to read for myself. I attempted to put in on hold at the library, but I was like 46th in the cue. I finally just laid down the money for it. And now I am ready to read and enjoy. Because there is nothing that I love more than a right good book.

3 comments:

Mo said...

I wish that I could say something to make you feel better, I really do. I think of you often and how hard it must be. Try to stay in the present and not think too far beyond, although I know that is much easier said than done.

Amie said...

and...??? Have you read it? Do you love it? I'm completely obsessed. No book has ever done this to me before. =) Enjoy.

leaner said...

Yes... and I read New Moon yesterday. In one day. I could NOT put it down. And I have Eclipse sitting on my nightstand for later. Can not wait to start it. I think it might have to wait until Wednesday, though.

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