How Much Is That Doggy In the Window

Rhayn had a game this evening at five. I think, in our schedule it worked perfectly. I mean, perfectly. This means our normal Saturday game is off, so we may be headed to my parents' house Friday after school. I am not sure yet, though.

This morning I was at handwork group, being the end of the year this has become a bit of a gabfest, and less of an organized group. But I enjoy it, and learn new things every week. Today one of the regulars, P, was not there, and as I sat knitting a bowl that I plan to felt (not however using that pattern, as I am horrid at following patterns... but don't worry, I will post a picture of it when it is done), P called and wanted to know if anyone would be willing to watch a dog for about five days. I piped up that I would be able to, gladly. Foster a dog for a few days? Lily gets a friend for a few days? Lovely, perfect, wonderful. She took my number and said she would give it to "Lady with dog". Little background here? Yes. P does doggy respite, usually for golden retrievers. She currently has two dog she is fostering, so was unable to take another. I want to help, but often I chicken out or don't have time, or something else comes up.

Back to my story. "Lady with dog" calls me and we speak for a moment. We plan a meet up around 7, because Rhayn's game will be done by then. It also coincides with my favorite and the only television show I watch, ANTM. But I can handle that. We hang up and I go about the rest of my day.

Game time, and it is fun. Rhayn is getting better. She doesn't always run away from the ball. Sometimes she tries to kick it. She wants to play, but at the same time, she fears it. I know that feeling. TOTALLY. I was there. Not really even sure if I ever played any sport. Mom? Did I? I vaguely recall playing soccer but... it could have been a movie. In any case I was probably rubbish at it.

When I was in fifth grade we were playing flag football and this guy had the ball. I was determined to get his flag, so I ran and grabbed it. Instead of victory, he threw the ball moments before I got to him, and I rammed my wrist into the rock hard muscular gluteus maximus of Shamone. It hurt. Badly. I never really tried at sports after that. They hurt way too much.

Whoa, way off subject once again. I am a scatterbrain today.

At about 6:45 pm, "Lady with dog" calls. They have found the owner. She won't need my assistance this time. Rejoicing for the little old lady who had lost her sweet lap companion two whole weeks ago. Whew, I guess. But in a small way, I feel like once again my volunteering has been smashed. Sure, I tried, and I am so happy for the woman who has her doggy home. And am I ever glad that I did NOT tell the girls we would be watching a dog for a few days. That would have been a whole other can of worms opened. Regardless... I want to help. I want to do something good. So what should I do?

Honestly I want to help soldiers. I feel inspired to help every time I think about soldiers coming home or look at my magnets for Military One Source, and there are two looking back at me right now. (Ender made fun of me for that... two in one place, like having one of them there wasn't enough.) But I don't want to volunteer for something that will make my life harder. If Will is deployed, will that help me deal with it? Or will it make me fear more? Such a dilemma.

Such a lot of crap to think about making it easier for me to pass the evening without feeling so lonely. Such a lot of crap on my mind.