Adjusting

Saturday was Will's 34th birthday. 34 seems old for some reason. (I will be 34 in November.)

After his week in Sierra Vista he drove home Friday night, only to hop on a plane to Philly on Saturday night (actually 1am on Sunday.)

We've discussed a little more about this probable move to SV. And the part I am going to discuss next gives me a funky feeling. For a while at least, he is renting an apartment down there. Sure its only going to be about 6 months that he'll be there without us, but it just feels/sounds wrong.

We are not separating but man does it sound like it. This move is really hard on us both. We've grown in the past few years since he returned from his deployment and I think we rely on one another more than we ever have. I count on his help with the girls often. I really miss that (and him) and he's only been gone for a week.Adjusting to our life here, with him coming and going like a visiting relative, is not going smoothly. Gwennie is having a rough time of it. Her bedtime routine had finally been established and most nights she was asleep around 8, but not anymore. Now she will still be up at 9ish. And she is continuing to wake up before 7. The poor kid is not sleeping well. On Thursday night she flat out REFUSED to sleep, or even stay in her room. At 9 I told her that if I saw her again she would not be going to the movie in the morning. At 9:15 when I had to go back upstairs and talk to her again (this time finding her playing in the toy room) she was informed that she had lost her movie going privilege. Then I spent 30 minutes with her throwing a bit of a fit while she ran up and down the stairs telling me that she didn't want to be near me. At one point she told me that she would "still snuggle with me but she didn't love me anymore since you are so mean". In the morning she was really mad because Rhayn was able to go to the movie with our friend A and her kids.

Rhayn is helping me hold up (or down?) the fort right now. She has taken on a much needed role, but I am trying to allow her to be a kid, just one with more responsibilities. I want to give her an allowance or something to show her how much help she is being to me.

Natalie is "little miss won't take a nap unless mama is holding her" or laying by her. I wonder if it has to do with her super awful diaper rash*. Or if she is sick. On Saturday she had green goop in her left eye and her nose is pretty stuffy (today she has green boogers). I ended up pumping on both Friday and Sunday to relieve a little bit of engorgement because she isn't nursing really well right now. I now have 4 ounces squirreled away for her if she needs it though! She is also considering crawling, when she is having tummy time she practices and goes in circles around and around. She is rarely where she is originally put. She is also working on sounds. She can make loud noises that aren't mad noises more like she is just seeing how loud she can be. She still can't roll from her tummy to her back consistently she has done it once or twice.

*The rash looks worse this morning. And like it has spread. Yesterday morning it looked dry and peeling in the morning and today its bright red and warm. Poor thing.