Natalie is 3 Weeks Old

Dear Natalie,

You are 3 weeks old. For three whole weeks you have been in the outside world, adjusting to breathing and stretching. You, like all babies, are amazing. You are already changing so much, becoming a little person, with likes and dislikes.

Every day I am awed by everything you can do. Unlike Gwennie who rarely (if ever) cried, you found your voice early and use it often. Luckily your cry isn't piercing nor is it loud. You are not always content to lay in my arms, but you are almost always contented by the *wrap. If you are fussing this has proven to be a sure fire way to calm you and put you to sleep. (In fact you are currently snoozing away in it while I type this!)You prefer to be upright. This makes sense because you are also a spit-up queen. Gwennie rarely spit up, but you my dear have even projectile puked. It doesn't matter if I burp you or not, and it isn't every time you eat. I am pretty sure that I need to avoid marinara sauce (like I had to with Gwennie) because it seems to cause you gassy issues as well as greenish poo. I am sure you will be fine with it later, but right now, you are sensitive to it.

Your eyes aren't blue yet. There is still hope that they will remain brown. Though with my track record, I am not calling them brown yet. Gwennie's eyes were definitely turning blue by 3 weeks. See what I mean? You look a lot like her, but also a lot like your biggest sister, Rhayn. Especially in the eyebrow area. You and Rhayn have gotten your Dad's scowl. I used to think he was angry all of the time, but it turns out that he can't help it as a scowl is his "default" expression. Both you and Rhayn were born scowling. There is this little crease/wrinkle that you both had at birth between your eyebrows that I am sure your dad had when he was born, too. Gwennie wasn't born with it, though she looks the most like Dad. To sleep, prefer your stomach. I don't blame you. I am a stomach sleeper, too. If I put you on your stomach for a nap, you may sleep for 2 hours. If I try your side or back I will be lucky if you sleep for 30 minutes. I check on you often while you sleep like this. I think that since you spit up a lot (even in your sleep) that putting you on your stomach alleviates some off the discomfort. Plus you don't choke on your spit up though you often wake in a pool of it.

I can not believe how much I love you, as well as your sisters. I knew that my heart would expand to love you all, but knowing it and actually feeling it are different. Someday you will find out how much I wanted you to be a boy. I always thought I would have sons if I ever had kids at all. But I ended up with three of the most beautiful girls. Three girls who will fill our lives with joy, drama, pride and sorrow. Three girls who will at time love and hate each other. Right now, your older sisters are so enamored with you it is almost 100% love. Though it has been a huge adjustment for Gwennie, who was the baby of our family for 5 long years.

There are so many other things I want to write about you, like how excited you get by my breasts. Its awesome to be able to give that to you, like I did for Gwennie. I will always feel like I failed Rhayn just a little by not supplying her with breast milk for longer than 3 weeks, but pumping is hard work and I was suffering from post partum depression after her birth. Though at the time I had no idea that is what it was.

I love you, Natalie. No matter what or who you become.


*My wrap isn't a Moby, its just a 20 inch wide 5 yard long piece of jersey that I cut when I was pregnant with Gwennie.

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