Weekly Gratitude

This week my gratitude lies with
  • another week closer to meeting this new life. 34 weeks down, and only a few weeks until it would be just fine for him/her to be born.
  • family and their generosity. I wrote about it already but once again, I am grateful for the new-to-us dryer that is now installed in our laundry room.
  • friends who love and accept my kids (and myself) exactly as we are and knowing that I feel the same about them (and their child.)
  • finally, sort of, getting over giving Penny up. Its been months and I need to be over it. Every time Will leaves for drill weekend I go into panic mode about dogs. Only we don't have dogs anymore, we have dog, singular. And Lily is an excellent dog, she is well trained. Sure there is a good chance she was just as much at fault as Penny, but I made a choice because I knew I had to. I live with that choice and the consequences of it every day. Gwennie borrowed a book called, "Before You Were Mine" from the library and I sat down to read it to her. I cried so hard through the whole book. I know its not likely that Penny went to a new home. Its more likely that she was put down, because of what she was. I am trying to be all right with that. But it broke a small part of me. I guess you could say there is a Penny shaped hole in my heart.
    Gwennie talks about Penny a lot, and points out dogs that look "sort of" like her almost every day. I am ok with that. We can talk about her, because for almost 18 months she was a part of our family, and we'll never forget that. (Also I can see pictures of her without breaking down in tears and that is a huge step for me.)

I rarely take pictures of my belly from that side. I don't know why, but thought I would share my superfluous nipple with you all, I think I may have mentioned it on here before. It cracks me up. I've always had a small mole there, but after I became pregnant with Rhayn it got larger and more sensitive. But, there you go, proof that I am a witch, at least according to lore and legend. My supernumerary nipple does not produce milk, which I can be thankful for. Can you imagine as the baby latches on, that third place suddenly spraying milk?


Amie said...

you look so good! I can just about look like that now after putting down a dozen tacos...

Mo said...

Beautiful belly pic!. I still think about you and Penny too. And you know I say that from a place of knowing where you were at with it all. Biggest hugs. xx

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