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This afternoon Will finally called. I was glad to hear his voice but had a really hard time hearing him. You see, for the past 2 weeks he has been on bed rest due to a serious ear infection, during which time he lost his voice. He probably hadn't been feeling himself for weeks before that. I don't know how much of this he cares for me to share, so we'll just say that he told me it was the sickest he has ever been. And he still isn't 100% healed from it, he only recently got his voice back.

I could barely hear him, like I said before. So I kept having to ask him to repeat himself. I am sure that was painful. I felt awful saying "What was that?" "Could you repeat that?" over and over. I mean it could not have felt good to speak. But I would have sat there on the phone with him for hours, because it was the closest I have been able to feel to him for a month.

He finally said he was going to go, and all I wanted to do was cry. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable, but I didn't want him to get off of the phone either. I wish I could reach out to him, to make it better. But I know I can't do anything. I can't make these last months any easier, I can't soothe him with means that work when he is home. I can't do anything. It really bothers me. It wasn't a pleasant end to the conversation, it left me feeling sad and lonely and lost. Hopefully next time we speak, it will be better. But until then, I will try to be content with emails, because what else can I do?

2 comments:

Everyday Mom Designs said...

I'm sorry hun..

HomegrownTexan said...

I'm sorry :( I've always known that it would be hard for military wives/children, in fact as a young child I remember being vehemently opposed to war, not because of the war itself (which I just hadn't thought through), but because of what my young mind thought it had to do to the families of the soldiers.

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