I don't know if you can see what she has in her hand in the photo because it is backwards. That is a bag of David Brand pumpkin seeds. She has been taking them with her everywhere we go lately (unless I have them hidden.) You see when we picked Will up at the airport he had a bag of them, which he shared with her. She loved them, and asked for seeds often.
Thursday morning we stumbled into Circle K so Mama could get some coffee (I was running late from home, and have been trying really hard to eat breakfast, so coffee time has been pushed back, but I have more energy in the morning.) I had just dropped Rhayn off at school, so it was just Gwen and me. We were headed back to the school to help out with the May Day garlands. She asked for a treat, and we walked by the nuts and seeds section. She saw the bag immediately. I tried to switch the big bag for the smaller, but she refused.
"This one (pause for effect) is like Daddy's!" She clutched it tightly and looked at me, big blue eyes filled with tears that wouldn't escape. "Like MY Daddy's" she said simply, and I knew that she would carry her seeds around the whole day if I let her.
We left Circle K with one coffee refill and pumpkin seeds "Just like Daddy's"
As you can tell it is Saturday and she still clutches her bag. I have to hide them from her, or she would eat nothing else. I see her slowly eating one seed at a time, because that was how Daddy taught her to eat them. She carefully picks a seed out of the bag with her thumb and forefinger, she pops it in her mouth. You can almost see her memory of her Daddy sharing his seeds with her. I bet the taste and smell of them will always remind her of her Daddy, through eternity.
The way the smell of fig trees reminds me of my Grandpa, especially in the hot sun. I will slide my hand over the leaves, to release the fragrance. I will lean into my fig tree, just to catch a whiff. To be taken, if just for a moment, back to his garden and his love. To return to my childhood, when I was only four. Or maybe younger. That smell, hot fig tree leaves, hot from the summer sun, always awakens memories and reminds me of love.