disconnected again

I need a break. Seriously I need a vacation, if only to be able to finish reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in peace. There is sits, inches away from me, and I swear the moment I pick it up, some one will need me. Last night I read up to chapter 9, whoo hoo. Not that I am in a huge hurry to find out who dies, but still... Will is listening to it on audio book, and occasionally I will hear Jim Dale talking loudly from his office. I try not to listen.

I am still in my funk. I think it is affecting my whole being. I can not wait for Yoga to start (August 20th) because I know how much better I will feel when I have just those few hours to center myself and to myself.

I feel like Will doesn't like me at all. We are so disconnected right now. We haven't sat down and spoken to each other much since he came back from DC, he talks to Rock about WOW all the time, and about the war in Iraq. I feel invisible to him. Then he comes up behind me and feels me up, haha. Like I really want him touching me when we are on totally different pages in our books (literally- he is most of the way through Harry Potter 7!) He and I need to spend some time reconnecting, in every way. We need to have some time without the kids, we need to talk, we need to be intimate. I can not make myself feel "in the mood." I know that this "disconnection" happens and usually it isn't this bad nor does it usually last this long. It has been weeks. It has been that long because of his job and all that he has been doing, and because of my watching Care-bear, and our homework. It has been so long because of WOW, too.

I guess I really need to talk to him about it. More than anything that would be the best course of action. So why am I so afraid? Because it usually leads to a disagreement. And then he'll lock himself in his office and I will get even less of what I really need- ME time.


Mid-life Midwife said...

I think I read previously that Will has 3 nights/times a week for gaming.
What do you get for Me time?
And what do you both get for Couple time?
Prioritize. You know already that marriage is a constant work in progress, with highs and lows. However, the word WORK is key.
Dedicate one day a week (Even a mere hour or two) for just the two of you sans children.
And find time for you, sans children.
It's all about balance, and it sounds like the scales are a little uneven right now. Good luck, we've all been there (and are destined to revisit again and again!).
Your photo collage is great, by the way!

Mid-life Midwife said...

Sorry, I didn't like the sound of my comment. It sounds like I'm advising you~ ack! unsolicited advise!
At any rate, it was meant just to be a reminder for support, and that you deserve good things in your life and marriage...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...