I feel "down in the dumps" today. Seriously I feel like crap and want to curl in a ball and cry. I don't know what is up.
I did have a bad dream last night.
I dreamed that Bri (my sis) lost her baby, but at first it seemed like the baby was on time and I remember telling my mom to take her to a certain hospital (on the wrong side of town for them) and finally my mom calls and says that the baby was born. It was a boy they named him Henry and he died. I woke up and was feeling so miserable for her and trying to fall back asleep because I knew it was a dream. When I did I went right back to the bad dream and it was worse, because I was still pregnant and she wasn't. I didn't know how to console her, because although I have lost 2 pregnancies, they were both early and I never saw my baby's face or felt them moving around inside.
I wonder if that dream has anything to do with the "funk" I am in today? I know part of it is feeling like Will doesn't care about me. He expects me to do things (making breakfast) but doesn't really seem to appreciate what I do. When I try to talk to him today he makes me feel worse because he assumes I am "mad at him" so he thinks the best thing to do is make it worse by being a jerk.... oh i don't know how to describe it so it makes sense to anyone else. We have been having such a good time lately and these past few days have been awesome- then there is today and I just want to die today. I know curling up on the couch doesn't help- but it s so hard to get up when you are in a funk....isn't it?