It has been harder this pregnancy to find gratitude, even in the little things. I am not sure why. But the weeks are flying by and I don't have much of a record of this one, my fourth, my last pregnancy/baby.
~This week I am grateful~
~to be 22 weeks along. I can feel the baby moving every day now. We still haven't found out if there is another sweet girl in there or not. I have scheduled an ultrasound for February 28th (10 days away) but I'm not sure if I will keep it. I want to know but if I do that one I will be alone when I find out (with Natalie who is my permanent sidekick.) I want to know who is in there, I want to name him/her. I want to buy some little blue or pink things and let my sister know because she wants to make stuff for baby #4. But I also don't know if I want to be alone when I find out.
~that I am coming out of that haze of depression that clouded me for weeks. It was hard to make it through one day let alone to look ahead and see that the sun would eventually come out from behind the clouds of doom. Things that last week or the week before felt like they were pressing on me have lifted. I am feeling human again. In part this is thanks to using an oil blend, I have felt so much better since placing it on my feet in the morning. It may be a placebo affect but maybe it really is helping.
~for a weekend without the big girls. I miss them but it has been nice to just have Will and Natalie around. Natalie goes to bed easily and takes decent naps. Plus I know the girls are having a great time in the snow.
~for a big anniversary coming up and knowing that even though we won't really be celebrating it then we are going to be planning a nice trip, just the two of us (to celebrate our tenth year married and our fourth baby) in a month or so.