Let me be...

I feel like I am losing my mind. I want to yell at the kids. I want them to leave me alone and not bother me, not even to tell me "I love you". But it is Sunday and Will has Army duty so I am stuck here with them. Maybe I'll be able to get a little bit of me time in a while.

I know exactly what is wrong with me. Three little evil letters. P.M.S. Why do women have to deal with this? I know not all women become raging  beasts once a month and some months are better than others, but this one? It feels bad. I know part of it is the impending summer. I hate summer, I used to deal with seasonal depression in May. But I am looking at the 3 girls home, with me, all summer. And Will being away at a school for all of June. And my friends all so far away in the Valley of the Sun(burn). And. And. And. I am trying to figure out something to do with them that will keep us from the summer I am envisioning in my head.

The pool here is expensive. I know the girls want to go swimming, but I do not want take them because it is a wave pool and Natalie is terrified of the waves. Plus I need to keep an eye on Gwen, while keeping an eye/hand of Natalie AND the indoor pool isn't warm enough for me. I want it to be at least 105 for swimming.

There is summer school, for Gwen and I am trying to find out if Rhayn can go as well. That would take care of part of the summer.

I need the house clean, I need to put on a bra. Perhaps a shower would make me feel less like I am going to freak out.