Sleep and Pain

This sucks...
Yes, I am going to complain, again. I am so totally tired that I can barely think straight.

Natalie did the same thing again last night. We would lay down to sleep and she would pop up wide awake 5 minutes later. I would have time to think about dozing off and BAM! she was up. She would nurse for a minute and then start fighting it. She wanted to be upright, and not just propped upright, HELD upright. I did get a little bit of time in there, she let me prop her up and she stared at the fan while I cleaned up my room a little. But only because I felt like I was going to lose it if she did. not. sleep. soon. Not like "I'm going to hurt my baby" more like I am going to scream along with her and then cry until my eyes bleed. I felt so uncomfortable that I was tossing and turning when she finally did fall asleep (at midnight). Uncomfortable because I am over tired and also because...

My 'roid (only one of them) is throbbing. Is that normal? I mean it. hurts. all. of. the. time. No matter what I have done for pain relief, it hurts. Ice packs? Sitting on one right now. Witch hazel- doesn't help any. Warm baths help temporarily, like while I am in there. I think that the other part of "down there" hurts, too. But the 'roid pain is so bad that I can't think past it. Like so bad it WAKES ME UP AT NIGHT, like I need that. I am sure walking around today didn't help, but sitting makes it hurt, too.

Excuse me while I burst into tears, again. This is really hard. And I need to go get Rhayn from school in a few minutes... when what I really want to do is lay on the couch and rest. Only the house? She is a mess and that keeps me from relaxing, too.

At least tomorrow is Saturday so I don't need to get up at 6 to start the day. If I am late to my grandma's party... I'll feel badly but I will get there... eventually.