40 weeks 6 days

Last night I spent the night in pain. I slept fitfully in maybe 20-30 minutes increments as I had painful contractions every 30 minutes. Laying in bed hurt more than sitting up during them, but as soon as I fell asleep I would ooze back down to my side. Every contraction made me need to pee, and I am a little sore from that, too. Oh, and they put pressure on my backside and hello hemorrhoids. Every time I wiped it was pink or rusty red.

Needless to say, I am so exhausted this morning and totally depressed. I also thought that was "it", that they would keep up and continue to get closer throughout the day until sometime this afternoon, we would welcome our new family member.

Nope. I got up had 2 more in that "regular" pattern and then they've gone away. (Unless I need to pee.) I can stand and sit and move around and get nothing.

Will took Rhayn to school, and I am so grateful for that. I couldn't imagine sitting in a car for half an hour whilst driving her. I can barely focus while writing this and sitting here.

And also... the kitchen is such a mess. We had rice last night and the floor is covered in it. (Its easier to let it dry overnight than to try to sweep up wet rice.)

Why won't labor come? Why doesn't this baby want to be born? How much pain do I need to go through? Seriously if the contractions I had last night are what I am in for and they last for 24 hours, I don't know if I can do it at home drug-free. I feel overwhelmed by it, and not like I will come away strong, but like it would break me. But then I want to be strong. I know that I will come away feeling like a warrior when its all over... if I can just get through it.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Helena have you looked up Prodromal Labor? It sounds to me like that is what is going on. Then maybe you wont feel so discouraged... You aren't waiting for labor, you are in labor. This labor just has a reeeeaaally slow start.

Sending love your way!!!

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