A Vow

Like most women who have ever been pregnant, I have experienced hemorrhoids. They are uncomfortable and extremely annoying. They had completely gone away after I had Gwennie, only popping up once in a blue moon. You see, I am extremely regular. I rarely defecate more than once a day, and it is almost always in the early morning. Its nice being regular. Its not not having constipation, or diarrhea or any number of issues with digestion. I think I was just a bit too smug about that.

About a year ago, maybe, I started getting the 'roids again. Flare ups of a most uncomfortable sort. It is irritating to no end. They will not go away, either. With them has come an uncomfortable urge to scratch. I mean, its ridiculously hard not to scratch. I have to admit to falling prey to that undesirable urge more often than I would like to.

Chances are that I have compounded the issue. I think I have given myself pruritis ani. Sounds fancy, huh? It just means itchy anus. Because it has been going on for such a long time, I am starting to think I should see a doctor about it. I mean its bothering me every day. Every. Day. I have found great information on the internet (huh, there I go, self diagnosing again. Bad, Leaner, bad.) But it looks like the only thing I can really do to help, is be gentle to my anus. And. Not. Scratch. This is easier said that done. But I vow to no longer scratch. I vow to somehow avoid it, at all costs. If this doesn't help, then I vow to see a doctor in two weeks.

Did you know that stress can cause it? That excessive moisture (sweat) in the area can cause it? Well, it can. As can our friendly neigborhood 'roids. Look at this list of food I should avoid- milk, citrus fruit juices and drinks containing caffeine, such as coffee, tea and cola, may be aggravating for some people. Similarly, some foods that may be a problem include chocolate, fruits, tomatoes, nuts and popcorn. Um, yeah I haven't eaten a bag of microwave popcorn every night this week, not me. But this has been going on longer than that.

You want to know one of my biggest fears in all this? That I will have to see a proctologist. I don't want to have a colonoscopy. (But I know someone who is having one of those soon or recently had one, maybe she will tell me that they are not that bad. OK? Its alright to lie to me.) This fear is only second to my fear that it will be colon cancer. But again, my internet research quelled that fear a little, if only a little. I mean there is no reason to think that it is that. Honestly, I am just a bit overdramatic sometimes.


Amie said...


Hopefully even if you went to the doctor, they'd give you some topical medicine that will help you shrink those 'roids. Good luck.

bodaat said...

go to the doctor!!

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