this morning

this morning
before the sun
even thought
of waking up

this morning
before most people
rose to brew
their coffee

this morning
before i was
really ready
you were gone

this morning
we rose together
in the dark of
predawn

this morning
we both wished
that we had
more time

this morning
we drove in
silence both
afraid to speak

this morning
i stopped at the
the drop off
and held it in

this morning
i never allowed
the tears to start
the tears to flow

this morning
we drove away
leaving you there
in camouflage

this morning
i was strong
for our girls
yet again

but tonight?
i am letting
it all out
tears fall,
sobs escape
because tonight,
i am allowed
to mourn
and be sad.