I don't usually volunteer for things at my daughter's school. I only do, if the thing involves a large group of people or certain people that I feel truly comfortable with. I do not take charge. I am sorry. I am totally a follower. My getting my daughter in this school was one of the most take charge things I have ever done.

But today? I was roped into doing something that has made me nervous all night. I know it will not be bad. It is only an hour, the first hour of the day (from 10 until 11.) And it is about the children, not the adults (I have less fear talking to children. Adults scare me.)
Our class parent walked by and asked if I could help out.
I at first said "no." Using my husband's absence as an excuse. "Who would watch my kids?"
Class Parent says "Well, my oldest," (she pauses to ask her oldest, who says yes "can watch Gwennie."
So no excuses. And I took the first shift to get it over with. I hate being last to go almost as much as I hate being in front of a crowd. There is always just that much more time to be nervous and worry about whatever it is.

Today I will be the "pocketlady" for the first hour of the Winter Fair. Yes, I will be the person walking around with a cape on. Inside the cape is covered with pockets that are filled with trinkets that the children will pay a quarter or a ticket to get. I have to hold out my cape while they chose a pocket.

Really not so bad. In fact it will be fun I think. But at the same time... I will have to walk around and talk to people.

The strangest part is that when I was in my early 20s I was the opposite of shy. I was loud, boisterous, sometimes even the center of attention. When I lived in Colorado, I would go up to strange people and talk to them. (You know, ten years ago.) But before that- back in Junior High I was so shy, and friendless that I rarely spoke. Some day I will write a post dedicated to those two years, the worst of my life. But today? I need to drink a red bull or something and make myself be a little more outgoing. (I guess the best part is that I didn't volunteer to be the Jester!)


bodaat said...

You'll be fine. I can't wait to meet you!

Mo said...

I am the same! I hate standing out in any way and will do all I can to avoid it. I once had a job I really loved, but it involved public speaking and that was that. I simply could not do it without making myself literally sick to my stomach. I just know you will be fine today though! :)

leaner said...

LOL, Mo. I can pretend at work. I always said I could be a good actress, because I can fake happy when I am at work. (I never let my outside life affect my job.) But since I stopped working I have stopped using that skill, and maybe I have lost it!

Bodaat, Me too! I am excited and scared about that, too.

Amie said...

lol, you can do it! It'll be good for you! Just imagine how it will make Rayne happy!

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