Panic Rising

I am about to start my period. Yeah? Yes it is good. I mean there is not a snowflake's chance in purgatory that I am pregnant. But my period comes with so much baggage- you know- premenstrual syndrome. I get moody, I get downright mean. I have a hard time dealing with the girls. I want to be alone, and at the same time I want to be surrounded by people. I can not think ahead, and do not want to think back. I cry. I sob. I get angry at nothing. I take deep breaths to deal with it. I take rescue remedy when I feel the panic starting. I want to crawl out of my skin. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin.
Tomorrow this will probably all end. The blood will come, and I will feel relief from the paranoia in my head. But for now? I have conflicting emotions every other second. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I feel the panic rising, into my throat, into my eyes. There isn't an escape. I want to run down the street and wander away from my house, my responsibilities, my kids, the dogs. I want an out. But there isn't one... and I know if I just go to sleep- that would be the best idea. The best plan.

1 comment:

Amie said...

I'm sure you could totally find some medication or herbal remedy to help you with that...there's no reason why you should have to suffer so much each month!! Talk to your doc, lady! good luck!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...