I feel it, taking over my body, like labor surges. It comes in waves washing over every part of me, leaving me breathless and fearful. The panic that consumes my thoughts, the fears that surround me. My inner dialog reciting things that need to be done.
A deep breath grounds me again. A deep breath reminds me that I need to focus, and calm myself. Just like during birth, handing myself over to the fear will only make it worse. Allowing myself to dwell in the bad places it takes me, the doubts, the millions of things that could go wrong, the ways that we aren't prepared, will only make the panic change and deepen. It will only make me feel it so many times more.
Instead I stop, I calm myself.
I breath, sloooowly in and sloooowly out.
I center my thoughts.
I center myself.
We are ready.
It will be alright.
I can handle this.