I suppose this counts as a New Years Resolution, and I am pretty much opposed to them however in this case, I am making an exception.

I am not happy. My life is not exactly how I pictured it. But it is not a bad life its pretty darn good in fact. I have no reason to feel this way. It is all a matter of perception. I need to see a doctor about it. I feel like I need to talk to a doctor about some issues I have, like a lowered libido and severe PMS (bordering or maybe reaching into PMDD) Will and I were discussing options and I mentioned Yaz the birth control pill as an option. My PMS gets bad enough that Will has been close to leaving me on more than one occasion. I don't blame him. I also know that it makes me a bad mother during that time of the month, and also it doesn't happen every month. Some months are better and I have a handle on my emotions (for the most part.) Most of the time little stressors throw all of my coping methods out of the window. Then I become a b-word to the extreme.

This is genetic. My mom suffers as well. I don't know if hers feels like mine, if she feels like the world is totally out of control and even out to get her during that time. She takes a B-complex as a coping method. It helps her. It does often help me, but at the same time, there has to be something else. I and my family should not have to suffer through this every month.

I vow to see a doctor about it. I need to tell her how it affects me, and my life. How often Will and I fight during that "time of the month." Most of all I need it for me. I need a solution that will help me be the person I am during the week or two between episodes. No one should have to see their mom like that. I know from experience. (Mom, I love you but you were hard to live with during PMS, too.)

I found this really good article by Dr. Chistiane Northup called Birth Control Pills and Sex Drive, besides information about birth control pills, it has plenty of other great information every woman should know. Please read it.

If any of you have experience with PMS, PMDD, or have a coping method that works, please tell me. I need help. For my husband, my kids, and most of all, me.