20050609

DH asked me if I am going to be baby obsessed when this baby is born... Um- hello.... I wasnt' BABY OBSESSED until Rhayn was nearly 3 yrs old. I remember having the miscarriage when she was nearly 18 months and being saddened BUT feeling relieved at the same time. HE doesn't know that, because I never told him how I felt about it.
I was depressed and in pain, so HE assumes that I was just sad about the baby loss. I was- but I was also sad because I felt that way... I felt like an ass because I felt that way....

ARGH.

He also lifted my shirt and made a HORRIBLE face and said "so it begins." like my belly (which i think is beautiful) is a horror. I almost started crying. I had to leave the room! I can NOT believe how mean that was! I know he didn't mean it to sound like it did...

Earlier he had said somehting rude, and I said "can't you say anything nice to or about me?"
(silience for nearly 2 minutes is it that hard?)
"Um... you made me salmon for dinner."
Yeah- that is "nice" i wanted to hear something about me looking nice, or anything about that... but grr... no "you made me dinner" is the only NICE thing he could say.

I shouldn't expect more, I don't know why i was, but dang I wanted NO NEEDED a compliment- especially after that FACE he made when he looked at the belly. I get that he feels weird about it. I just wanted him to BE NICE> i needed it last night...

1 comment:

Anna said...

i just came across your blog by accident but after i read this i had to say something. i was really upset. your husband should be more supportive. that was an awful thing to say about your beautiful belly. you deserve to be given special treatment, partly because you're pregnant, but mostly because it sounds like you are very good to him. take care of yourself!

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