I'm really struggling these days. I know that at some point it'll get better. But right now... It's bad.

Our old buck goat is likely going to need to be put down very soon. Now it's not like you drive him to the vet's office and they give him an injection, it's more like a bullet to the head, then we have to take care of his body. I know that he's suffering, but having to put him down is making me feel... Icky. No, I won't be the one wielding the gun. I am having nightmares about it already.

Seamus somehow gouged his side on something in the yard. I tried super gluing it, but we had to stitch him up (4 stitches) and now he's wearing the cone of shame again. Which he keeps popping off. He's healing OK I guess. But I'm just overwhelmed by all the things that I can't even handle small stuff right now.

I feel like if one more thing goes wrong, I might need some time in a padded room.

We should close on our house in the next few weeks, which will give us a move date, and that would be helpful. But until then, I don't know, and people ask me, and I just want to scream "I don't effing know!" But I won't. I'll smile and say, we are scheduled to close mid October, until then we know nothing. Though the first way might be more satisfying.

I really need to spend more time blogging, because I have big things to work out. Instead of refreshing Facebook and trying my hardest to ignore my feelings and thoughts, which is clearly not working anymore.