Instead of...

Instead of enjoying Tally's first birthday I am yelling at Gwen. Instead of snuggling on the chair with my newly one year old, I am fuming at the computer because Gwen is in a rotten mood.

I should have known last night, when she was still awake at 8:30 that this morning would, as usual, be horrible.

I woke her up at 7:10, and we all came out for the morning. Immediately Rhayn walked into my room and got Tally up, saying "happy birthday!" to her. And immediately Gwen started telling me that we like Tally best and that we don't like her, and it is all about Tally and not about her. I reminded her, calmly that it is Tally's birthday and today, yes, it is all about her.

Then Rhayn gave Tally the Elmo doll she had picked out her for her weeks ago. And again Gwen freaked out, "Why does Rhayn get to give Tally a gift fiiiiiiiirst? Its NOT FAIR!!" Sigh.

"I don't want to make my own breakfast. I won't." then Rhayn gives her a bowl of cereal, "I don't like this kind of cereal, I WON'T eat it. I WON'T!" then "I WON'T go to school." and "I wish it was the weekend." Then the worst of all, she pushes Tally over.

And this is where I am did something I do not do very often. I told her to come here, and I swatted her butt 4 times. But I am at my wit's end. I have tried everything I can think of. Nothing seems to work with her. Last night we wrote her name on the family white board and she had 5 chances to be nice, if I had to yell at her, talk to her about being nice or if she screamed at me even one time she got a check mark and in 30 minutes she had gotten all 5 (each had a warning before, too) and her consequence was going to her room early.

Monday she was sent to her room at 5:30 right as I was making dinner because she was screaming at me. Not yelling, it was screaming. And I am over this attitude.

Possibly she isn't handling her dad being deployed very well, but this actually was going on far before he left. I think it is mostly from our move. She is not tolerating it well here. She likes school, she likes our property, she likes her room, but she hates this house, she hates... she hates... she wants to move back.

Gwen doesn't handle change well. She is emotional and sensitive.

She needs to learn how to calm down and be happy. She needs something and I have no idea what it is or even how to get it for her or give it to her. I am again at a loss with her. I want her to be happy, when she is happy she is amazing, but when she isn't, she is such a mess it makes the rest of us around her miserable, too. I get dragged along with her emotions much of the time, though I try not to be she gets to me so quickly.

Often I just have to let her scream out her frustrations, and let it all out. But that puts me on edge and it puts our family on edge. This is not how I want our family to be. Not even a little bit.