I have opened up a new post a few times lately, then sat staring at it bllankly. I want so much to write but I am tired and just trying to stay on top of everything.
I am 31 weeks along. There is a huge baby inside of me that moves almost all of the time. The stretches, kicks and punches are often painful. I don't remember them being so in my previous pregnancies. Maybe this is another of the things that I "forgot", like how truly awful morning sickness is. Maybe this pregnancy really is that much harder on me, since I am 33 and not 23 or 27.
Did I mention that I am really uncomfortable? I am about the same size as I was at this point in my pregnancy with Gwennie. But I feel much bigger. I am curious if its how this little one is laying inside.
I also feel depressed. I want to be enjoying this time with my girls and enjoying the end of this, my last, pregnancy. Instead I am sad. I want it to be over, but I am terrified of it ending because then we will have another child. Life with our girls is so easy. Well, compared to what it will be like with a 3rd child (and an infant). We are at this great point with the girls. What were we thinking? I guess I am panicked about it all. I know I felt a little like this when I was pregnant with Gwennie. I remember feeling like I hadn't had enough time with Rhayn, but also like it was just a strange time to add another child.
I am not ready for this... but would I ever be? Thank goodness I still have about 2 months to go.