These may be something exciting in the works at our house.
Before Will left for Iraq he told me that he was positively done having children. He wanted to start the next phase of our life complete with travel and weekends away from our kids. But not long after he came home, he was talking about getting a new vehicle. Sure I figured it was because with two fifty plus pound dogs we don't really fit in either of our current vehicles comfortably for a long trip. But then he dropped the "in case our family expands" bomb.
I had spent the entire year he was gone coming to terms with being a mother of two girls. I had mourned the loss of a third child and although everyone around me seemed to be getting knocked up, I was finally feeling maybe okay with that. Then this? But he wasn't willing to try to get pregnant at that point. I had time to process this, and obsess and wonder and think.
Fast forward a few months. I had been thinking in terms of our future. Our seventh anniversary looms on the horizon. If we got pregnant now, the child would be two by our tenth and we could possibly leave him/her overnight to celebrate. Gwennie will be at least five by the time a new baby is born. That is a big gap, bigger than I had wanted. We'll be starting over from scratch because I got rid of almost all of our baby stuff while he was gone. I worked up the courage to talk to him about it. Its a difficult subject to approach because I wasn't sure if he was still thinking that way. I told him my reasons for doing it now and not waiting. Another one being age, sure I am only 32, but in a few years I will be 35. Rhayn is the same age I was when my mom was pregnant with my little sister. Its a decent age gap but it stretches all of the time. This month is a good one, we'd be due the end of October, then next month the due date would be around my birthday. That would be alright with me. I, of course, do not want a Christmas baby and I didn't want a baby due around either of my girls' birthdays.
It looks like, this might be a reality. I have held off on writing about it, simply because it feels so new and exciting, but I want to chronicle this journey, like I have with so many before. I want to remember all of this, because this will be the last one. After this, we will take permanent steps to keep from adding to the family. (We haven't fully decided if it will be me or him going under the knife, but I am trying to push for him.) I am so excited that he and I are both feeling and thinking the same way. I look forward to the process. I can't wait to get started.