I finally went to the doctor about my, um, problem today. I know, that was a month ago. I swore I would see a doctor about it within weeks. But we all knew that wouldn't happen.
When I called in, I said I had a yeast infection. I was able to say that on the phone with the 20 year old receptionist. I could not say "I have an itchy rectum," it just wouldn't come out. But I made the appointment, and found someone to watch my children. Then slumped into the doctor's office five minutes late. I was taken back quickly and weighed. I have to say that I have been weighed a couple of times in the past week, and the numbers surprised me a little. I am at my "5 months pregnant with Gwennie" weight. But I digress.
I was put in a room and my temperature was taken, this was followed by the pulse count and blood pressure, during which the nurse asked why I was being scene. I took a deep breath. (I can do this, I breathed out.)
"I am itchy, down there."
"Oh, like a yeast infection?"
"No, its not a yeast infection."
"How long has it been going on? How many days?"
"Um, more like months."
"Did you try to treat it with any over the counter medication?"
"No, its not a yeast infection, I mean, its not my vagina."
"Oh, your rectum."
Sigh "Yes, that is what I meant. My rectum itches."
The nurse gets one of the paper blankets out of the drawer and says the doctor will be in momentarily to talk to me, then he will have me take off my pants and have a look. She will come back when he does that.
We talk, discussing my issues, and how long its been going on. I tell him I have hemorrhoids, have on and off since Gwennie was born. (Probably since Rhayn, but they were worse with Gwennie.) He tells me that those little buggers are probably what is causing my itching. But he needs to look.
We'll skip the anal probe. I don't want to relive it.
It is just some serious 'roids causing irritation. I have a prescription for some medication that should help the inflammation. If the issue doesn't go away within two weeks, I need to go back and we will discuss surgery to remove the offending 'roids and the skin tags they have created.