Its been a couple of months since I had a post dedicated to you, my first child. You are such an individual and so much fun. Then sometimes you are such a pain in the butt that I want to cry. Like today. I am pretty sure you have an illness, like the rest of us. You have been inconsolable all afternoon.
Wednesday was another soccer game. You played better than you have in the past. You actually kicked the ball, and chased it and even seemed to pay attention to the game for most of the time. (When you weren't dancing and singing and looking at the grass.) You turned bright red when you are active, just like your mama (should have seen my sick self in my workout class today. I looked a lot like the above picture of you, Rhayn. Red, sweaty, hot and a little faint, but this isn't about me, is it?)
Look at those eyes. Aren't they exquisite? Can't you get lost in their greenish depths? I can. I love those eyes. That is why I wanted to paint them. I am still amazed at my own paintings, because your eyes are dead on. I can see you looking out of the painting. And to me that is the highest achievement I could have made. And the best painting/drawing I have ever done.
On Saturday we went to the Desert Botanical Garden and visited the butterflies before they leave for the season. One decided to hitch a ride on your hat and you was ecstatic. You were surrounded by other little girls who all wanted to see your passenger. Now, he wasn't the prettiest butterfly in fact he looked a bit ragged, but when you are a little kid all you want is for one of them to land on you. The fact that you became the center of attention for a few moments before he headed off just made it all that much better.
Last week I picked you up at school one afternoon, and you told me the story of this boy you used to "love" and how he got mad and told the girls he would kill them. He pushed one of your best friends and I think pulled your hair. You were determined that he was mean, and you could never be his friend again. Then I reminded you of how sometimes we all get mad. We all have a bad day now and then. Sometimes we say and do things we don't truly mean. Just like he did. But we all deserve a second chance. We all deserve forgiveness. And I am pretty sure you have forgiven him, because you know he is really a nice boy inside.
My darling little one, I know that sometimes I yell, and make promises that I don't always keep. But I am trying, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes we have to be reminded of the things we promise. We have to apologize and move on with out life. You have such a forgiving spirit that I am glad to be your mama. And sweet pea? Never forget that I love you more than life itself.