Have you ever been contacted by an old friend who sends you into a swirl of memories?
Its crazy how much just emailing with someone can make you think back- think of things you had forgotten. Its a rather fun ride.
High school seems like yesterday, yet it was so long ago. I keep getting pounded by reminders of how long ago it really was. Like that whole 10 year reunion thing. Like knowing that I am nearly 30, and you know what? I am ok with that. But I still feel so young inside. I feel like that scared little girl who was so lost her freshman year. The wandering soul who was searching for an identity and who found it with the "skaters." I never could ollie or anything, but I dressed like a total betty for a while.
As I walk around Rhayn's school, I search the eyes of my fellow parents. I hope to find a kindred spirit, a mama who will be my friend. I think I wanted Rhayn to go to that school as much for me, as for her. The community presence is awesome. There are so many friendly people, extroverts- trying to draw the introverts out of our hard worn shells. There is a person that I seem to gravitate to, her personality draws me in, she is what I want to be- still hip, still cool. I talk to her, yet I feel like I am on the edge of her group, a wallflower at the school dance (not that I attended too many of those!) Waiting and watching and biding my time, waiting to make my move. My heart flutters, will she like me? Will she want to be my friend? I thought after getting married that I would not have to feel like this- this predator on the prowl kind of feeling. I never knew making friends would be so hard, or so stressful. I just hope that it will end in a lasting friendship.
3 comments:
I could have written that last paragraph myself. My mom always used to tell me that making friends would become easier- in high school since the school was bigger, in college I'd meet people in my major, and after parenthood because I'd be meeting others with kids. Nope, hasn't gotten easier. However my kids have taught me a lot (one is an introvert like me , the other an extrovert), and I continue to stretch my boundaries.
Here's to both of us finding meaningful friendships!
Wow Leaner, this has hit home for me too! I'm a shy person, but since becoming a mom, I know the only way that I'll meet other people who have a like-life is by taking a extrovert leap. Intimidating to say the least, especially when all my life I have felt like a round peg in a sqare hole! Just go for it, you got nothing to loose - with you in spirit!!
ps. Thank you for your comment on my blog...I don't know what you find inspiring, but I'm happy I can help in any way!
You need a friend that will pull you out of your wallflower spot. I have a friend that I coulnd't understand what the hell was her problem and so I would call her often and invite her over to play and so now when people ask how we met, she tells them I am the one that kept calling her and stalking her. I was in a pretty yucky funk at the time so i figured if she was miserable then we could be miserable together. it was never like that though when we got together, we always had a good time.
Maybe you should get some ovaries of steel and invite that mom over to your house or at least say it in passing "we should get together" I hate to admit it but now days I throw that phrase out w/ out REALLy wanting to get together for my own sake, but I always get a call from that person so willing to take me up on that offer. I am learning people are eager for companionship and welcome any kind of invitation. Try it!
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