Mama Says Om: Train

This weeks theme is Train.

When I sat down to think about train, the first thing that came to mind was training.

As a society we have all been trained. We see breasts as a sexual object. When we see a breast exposed to feed a baby we are appalled. Why? Because of hundreds of years of training. The Victorian era has had long lasting effects on us. The 1960s helped a little with the sexual revolution, however we are still trying to change our views. Well some of us are.

As a youth, breastfeeding was never something I thought about. It was also something I never saw, as my mother was unable to nurse us for very long. Breastfeeding was thought to be less healthy than formula, because we humans can take anything made by mother nature and make it better, right? So it was better to formula feed children.

Now we know that breastfeeding is best for baby as well as for mama. There are instances when it is not possible, things happen that keep us from giving our babies the best start, it is nice to have formula as an option. However the breastfeeding nazi in me wants to shout at those I see with bottles. You see I have been trained, by those I associate with and those that I talk to that breast is best, and formula is not an option.

When I had my first child I was unable to nurse her, as she was born with a cleft palate. In the years since her birth, and all the research I have done, it turns out that if I had been more dedicated I may have been able to. I feel let down, my "excuse" for not nursing her has been voided, and I am left with a fear. What if something is wrong with her? If there comes a point when something happens will I feel that it is my fault for not nursing her? Maybe, luckily she is extremely healthy, so much so that we are all sick at the moment with a cold, well not her. She was never sick as a infant either.

I know that the healthiest place to stand on this subject is somewhere in between. Not the breastfeeding nazi that I feel like I am, and not the anti breastfeeder, but a healthy spot in between.

There are thousands of articles about this subject like this one, that make my blood boil.
"I told the mother that in being so devoted to her son, she had committed the cardinal sin of marriage, which is to put someone else before her spouse, even if that someone is your child. Furthermore, I said, her obsession had turned one of her most attractive body parts into a feeding station, an attractive cafeteria rather than a scintillating piece of flesh." The fact that he says that because she is breastfeeding it has turned her breasts into a "feeding station" made me giggle, well duh, they are a feeding station, they are not a "scintillating piece of flesh" they were made to feed our children! (We won't even get into the issues with the second part of that article!)

It seems that he is telling women that their relationship with their husbands is more important than the bonding that we can receive from nursing our children. It is more important for our husbands to desire us, because of our breasts than it is for us to have a healthy relationship with them. Personally I think that this is one of our biggest problems in society. We need to build positive relationships, with our partners, not just based on sex, but on companionship. It is nice to sexually desire our partner, but the real bond comes when we truly LOVE our partner, and respect them, and when they respect us, our decisions and our bodies.