Ch-Ch-Changes

The times they are a’changin

Its almost time, its almost school time. Our first in many years of getting up and getting ready. I can not believe it! Rhayn has been talking about going to “kin-ver-gar-ven” for about 2 years. Now that time is looming on the horizon, and I am afraid.

How will she take it? Because the other day she told me that when she went to preschool she missed me, even though she acted like she didn’t. “Mommy, remember when I went to that place like a school? I missed you when you left me.” Gasp- when I left her? Is that how she felt, like I was abandoning her? I shudder thinking of that.

My lost Bug

I stopped calling Gwennie “Bug” a few weeks ago. She has outgrown that nickname and grown into her own name, finally. When she was born Gwendolyn was just too much name for such a tiny lump. It didn’t fit her and I worried that we had chosen the wrong name for her. Will said it didn’t matter what we named her because if she decided to go by something else she would. But to me, a baby’s name is the first gift you give them, and the most important. It says so much, like your hopes and dreams for their life, your ideals. It to me is precious. So when she was born and that name, it just was too big, too much of a mouthful, I worried. Rhayn was Rhayn from about when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I knew she was a girl and I picked her name. I called my growing belly Rhaynnon, and I knew she was HER. So it fit. I guess it has taken that same amount of time for me to come to terms and get used to calling Gwennie that, instead of Bug.

The other reason for put an end to calling her Bug, is that Will doesn’t like it. He says that as computer person, “Bug” is a BAD thing. I was calling her “Buggie” and he said that buggy is when some software doesn’t work quite right. Ok, I can understand that. So I stopped, slowly weaned myself from it. And occasionally I still regress and call her Bug, but mostly she is Gwen, Gwennie, chunka, or even my pretty baby. But no more Bug, and I miss my Bug, that little sweet lump.

Not a baby anymore?

Will said that he thinks Gwennie is at the “ugly stage.” Yesterday she was playing on the floor and he looked at her and said “I remember when Rhayn was in this ugly stage.” I looked at him like a leper, oh no you didn’t just call my baby ugly! “There is this stage when they stop being an infant, their face changes and they just aren’t cute. When she is done with it, she will be beautiful, though.”

Um… well. I do see her face changing a little, and yes she is getting bigger, but she is not ugly, at all. She is so beautiful that it often hurts me to look at her, because I feel this swell of utter amazement and love. She is wonderful, and how could he say she is an ugly baby? I know he doesn’t mean that he loves her less, or that he would trade her in, he wouldn’t. In fact now she is really starting to like her daddy. She gets excited when she sees him, she crawls to him with abandon so he can pick her up when he gets home. She sits closely by while he kicks the soccer ball around the kitchen (which I hate by the way- I do not want him kicking balls around the house!) She beams at him when he talks to her. She is totally a daddy’s girl, just like her sister. She still prefers me sometimes, as I have the milk and he doesn’t. But he can get her to eat more food. Last night I went to Denny’s to study for my midterm (I can’t study at the house AT ALL) and he fed the girls dinner. He was able to get her to eat almost a full jar of baby food AND half a container of peach yogurt including the peaches. I wonder how he did it. Every day I try to feed her and she just couldn’t care less for food. But for him, she would eat anything!