This weekend was so full.
On Friday night I had a horrible stomach cramping episode that ALMOST sent me to the hospital. I felt like I was going to die, it was worse that childbirth! I had some small pains about 7 but they seemed to go away so I went to bed at 9 and fell asleep almost instantly, at 1 am I awoke with the most painful stomach cramps, it felt like I had to poo, only I didn’t. I was awake more or less until 4 am. I vomited and curled into a ball, I had to feed Bug at one point and felt like I was being stabbed in the side. It was awful. I kept saying “if I still feel like this at 4 am, I will wake Will up and make him take me to the emergency room.” But just like that 3:50 came and suddenly the pain lessened and I fell asleep.

At 7 Rhayn woke me up, snuggled in the bed with me for a bit. We had to be at her school for an orientation at 9, and I was totally not up for it, but it was important to let Will get a feel for her school, since he really wanted her to go to a Montessori school (I couldn’t find one and she is going to a Waldorf school.) So, I take a shower, drink a bit of coffee and try to be alert.
We got to the school, and for the orientation they have us knead some whole wheat dough and make a shape (which was baked for us to eat later!) Then while the teacher tells us about the school, we are given some beeswax to mold. It was nice to have something in our hands while listening to someone lecture. She talked about the main points she thinks are important for their school, and one of them is media- or lack there of. She wants us to turn off the tv. I totally know that Rhayn is better when the tv is off, but its hard to do, because Will is so into the tv. Will said that was the biggest thing he didn’t like about the school, the other thing he didn’t like was that until 2nd grade they really don’t worry about academics. Ok, I see that. But we can work on her letters and sounds at home. At school they are more shaping her. The other two points that the teacher said were important are sleep (going to bed around 7 pm, well she goes to bed at 7:45 and if she went to be earlier she wouldn’t get any daddy time in the evening) and warmth. Warmth- as in keeping the trunk of the body warm, wearing layers so that during the day the children can adjust their clothes and stay a nice temperature. I get that, she said most kids don’t tell you when they are cold, Rhayn is ALWAYS telling me that she is cold, she likes long sleeve shirts and jackets. So now, I guess I will have to stop telling her no, and let her wear what she feels is best.

Will enjoyed talking to the other parents, especially a stay at home dad (cool!) and his wife, who are both computer people, and hearing about their experiences, and how there are different levels of Waldorfism. Just like everything, there are those who are boiling hot about the waldorf method and others who are lukewarm. I think we are lukewarm, but I really want to check it out.

Other things the school offers that I am really interested in-play groups during the summer, and for younger siblings during the school year. There are handwork groups, so we can go to someone’s house and sew neat waldorf toys. (These use all natural materials, and are very plain.) There is a lot of parent involvement in this school, on Saturday while we were attending the orientation, there were parents all over the school doing yardwork, and cleaning, there are fundraisers and a store to help out it. I am just so excited about it. And the BIGGEST draw? The parents with children already attending all said “Its like having another family.” I want that, I NEED that. I need to make life long friends, people with similar beliefs as what I have (yeah, I had Buggie in the sling and there were so many women who said “I miss the days when my babe was in the sling.” And I shone, because that is awesome, I love hearing that other mamas carried their babes in slings or ABCs or wraps. It)

I am excited about this school and can’t wait to start reaping the benefits of it. Rhayn will get to go to a playgroup this summer, starting in a few weeks I think.

When we got home from that, I lay down and slept the rest of the day away. I felt awful, and missing those hours of sleep had given me a migraine headache. So the rest of Saturday was a blur to me.

Sometime around midnight, Rhayn climbed into bed with us, and I was so out of it, I let her. We slept “the whole family” in the bed comfortably until morning, and Rhayn told me that she had a bad dream that daddy’s head had popped off and she couldn’t put it back on. That was why she awoke and climbed into bed with us.

Sunday, we went to Costco home, and Costco and Home Depot. We were on a ceiling fan mission. We bought 3 different fans, one for out guest room, one for my “office” (our bonus room) and one for outside. When we got home we installed the one in the bonus room, and immediately reaped the benefits of having it there. It is great! This room has needed a fan, and light desperately.

It was a long, busy weekend.

I have “tmi”(too much information) to write about, because it has really been bothering me, and it bothers Will. I didn’t even realize it was happening. We have “reconvened the procedure” (to quote Dooce) I mean we are engaging in intercourse, but its not the same as before. Its not as satisfying to me, which bothers Will. He feels like it is his fault that I am not enjoying it like I used to. I don’t know what to do about it, its difficult to get into the mood after having tiny hands all over me all day, and usually in the middle we have to stop to take care of baby. It is like a dimmer switch. I can turn it off easily, but turning it back on is another story. Is this going to get better? I don’t remember this at all with Rhayn, but she didn’t nurse, is that the difference? I mean, I still want to “get busy” but I just can’t make my body respond like it used to.


Mid-life Midwife said...

for the TMI, yes, it's the nursing. most women find they are too "touched out" to really let go and enjoy big hands on them. it can feel annoying even, which leaves both you and your partner afraid of losing your mojo, to put it lightly.
i had this big time with #1, and with #2, i was better able to make the switch between baby hands and husband hands. #1 nursed a lot more than #2 ever did, plus it was my first. if you ever have the luxury of putting baby down for an hour or more before you have sex, great. take that time to bathe (physically disconnect from the sensation and smell of your baby) and to shave, smell pretty, whatever. YOU time. relax. then try reconnecting with your husband. its hard during the first year. no one evertalks about this down side to attachment parenting. so all these women think something is wrong with them while their partners think they've lost their wives, and some resent their babies to some degree for it. when you're not nursing, your hormonal make-up is completely different. so it makes sense that you didn't experience this with Rhayn.
obviously, i could go on and on about this. i attachment parent, but I've got a lot of gripes about the unspoken troubles/realities that people have with AP. hang in there. nothing is broken. :) keep trying to enjoy the physical with your husband. it needn't be sex every time. it could just be cuddling, etc. keeping that connection alive is important. the earth-shattering orgasms will come back again. :)

Mid-life Midwife said...


here's a link to what a forsythia looks like
after the initial yellow bloom, the leaves go all green and look like a simple bush. the 3 that we have are round, not stalky, upright things like the ones pictured.

dacheese said...

Poor Scotty is sick again.

leaner said...

Oh man... I was just checking comments, but the wor dverification is ICANLCK! like I CAN LICK! HAHAHAHAHAHa

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