Yesterday was a bad mommy day.
I was feeling great, went on my walk and everything. So in the afternoon I made and froze some pizza crusts. I had the hot out of the oven pans on the counter near the sink. Well Bug was covered in a Smart Puff, so I went to wash her hands and face in the sink. But I leaned her against the hot pan and "branded her leg." She has a 2 inch long burn mark, that filled with puss and was nasty. I put breastmilk on it (not knowing what else to do) and it seemed to help. The pussy-ness went away for the most part.
She didn't seem too upset about it, and didn't freak out when I touched it later. Poor thing though.
Then Bug and I went to bed early, because I have been feeling a little under the weather (I think I am lacking in iron but that is another story.) At around 11 pm, I woke up to pee. She was fussing, but I really REALLY had to go. So I figured she could fuss while I went. Only it was one of those super pees that takes forever and you feel like you will never be done, akin to a night at Denny's drinking coffee with friends type of pee. I could still hear her fussing, but now she was getting a little panicked. Mama wasn't there with milk and she was getting worried.
Just as I finished peeing, I heard a thud and a scream.
She was on the floor, having rolled off daddy's side of the bed (there is a pillow blocking her from rolling off of my side) and had fallen the nearly 3 feet to the floor. The daddy buffer wasn't there to stop her either.
I don't think she was hurt too badly, because after getting some milk she was fine and went back to sleep. I however was not fine, I felt like an awful mama. I didn't immediately fall back asleep because I was so wrried about her poor little head. How could I have made two such grievous mistakes in one day? Am I having an off life? What is wrong with me?!
Do you ever just feel like the worst mama ever? I mean, I know I am no where near as bad as, say a drug addict. But I feel awful.
I don't remember these days ever happening with Rhayn. Am I less diligent now, as a mama of two?
Ok, I think I just need some deep breaths and to do a few yoga poses to calm myself. Because there is nothing I can do about it now.