Yesterday was a bad mommy day.

I was feeling great, went on my walk and everything. So in the afternoon I made and froze some pizza crusts. I had the hot out of the oven pans on the counter near the sink. Well Bug was covered in a Smart Puff, so I went to wash her hands and face in the sink. But I leaned her against the hot pan and "branded her leg." She has a 2 inch long burn mark, that filled with puss and was nasty. I put breastmilk on it (not knowing what else to do) and it seemed to help. The pussy-ness went away for the most part.
She didn't seem too upset about it, and didn't freak out when I touched it later. Poor thing though.

Then Bug and I went to bed early, because I have been feeling a little under the weather (I think I am lacking in iron but that is another story.) At around 11 pm, I woke up to pee. She was fussing, but I really REALLY had to go. So I figured she could fuss while I went. Only it was one of those super pees that takes forever and you feel like you will never be done, akin to a night at Denny's drinking coffee with friends type of pee. I could still hear her fussing, but now she was getting a little panicked. Mama wasn't there with milk and she was getting worried.
Just as I finished peeing, I heard a thud and a scream.

She was on the floor, having rolled off daddy's side of the bed (there is a pillow blocking her from rolling off of my side) and had fallen the nearly 3 feet to the floor. The daddy buffer wasn't there to stop her either.

I don't think she was hurt too badly, because after getting some milk she was fine and went back to sleep. I however was not fine, I felt like an awful mama. I didn't immediately fall back asleep because I was so wrried about her poor little head. How could I have made two such grievous mistakes in one day? Am I having an off life? What is wrong with me?!

Do you ever just feel like the worst mama ever? I mean, I know I am no where near as bad as, say a drug addict. But I feel awful.

I don't remember these days ever happening with Rhayn. Am I less diligent now, as a mama of two?

Ok, I think I just need some deep breaths and to do a few yoga poses to calm myself. Because there is nothing I can do about it now.


TLC said...

I won't even tell you how many times Crispin rolled off our bed...

Mid-life Midwife said...

yes, eamon rolled off so many times I quit counting. and it's quite a drop. sarah only rolled off once. I'm sure i was far more diligent then.
i'm sorry you're feeling bad. these things happen. oh yeah, like somehow letting my 20 month old walk down a busy street unattended. we're all good mamas that bad things happen to from time to time. you could try a healing salve with some comfrey and calendula in it for Bug's burn. Or yarrow. Calendula and yarrow are great for surface-y owies.

hairball said...

at least there was a pseudo carpet cushoin. my mom dropped collin off her bed right on the hard floor and air vent. he had the largest lump on his head. and then of course there is my sweet father who chipped collin's front tooth with a pot. yeah, human babies are durable and tough little critters

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