Growing Up... so fast

Today I looked at her, and realized that she is so very grown up. Her big girl arms and legs stretch long and lean. She is no longer a baby and will soon reach the ranks of school age. How strange, it seems only yesterday I was at the hospital having her, opening up to meet my child. It seems only yesterday that she learned to walk, talk and use the potty. How is it possible that nearly 5 years have gone by since I welcomed her into my life?

Rhayn is a big girl, in every sense of the words; she learned recently how to use our microwave, to make herself oatmeal for breakfast "Big girls make the oatmeal for their own."” She asks questions, running through questions I can answer into ones that I have no idea about. She has ideas on how life should be, and ideas for where we should go. She is her own person, with such a great personality.

Then there is Bug, she is just getting a personality. She is starting to laugh at things and letting me know when she is unhappy. She talks constantly and it is getting louder, loud enough to drown out the telly, and let me know that she is the most important thing and needs my full attention. Her hands are becoming her own, she is getting control and it allows her to almost reach what ever she wants. Her hands are also the best thing because she can chew them, shoving them fully into her mouth as she chomps rigorously. Her hair, it may seem to be lacking, but there is quite a bit, and it is growing in and feels thick. She is going to be 4 months old soon, and that is distressing to me. I want to hold on to this tiny Bug, to hold her at this point, and yet at the same time I can't wait for her to get older, say "mama" and be a big girl”, too.

It is so neat to be allowed the privilege of being someone's mom, the privilege of being the first to get to know this special soul, the privilege of feeding and loving them. How awesome a place in life, MOM is. I never thought it would be so great, I never imagined that I would love it as much as I do. I can't remember now, what life was like before this, I can‚’t imagine that I felt fulfilled or even happy.

I have moments that I feel entirely happy, complete. I don't feel like I am wandering or alone, or anything. These are moment when I look into those gorgeous eyes, the ones that trust me absolutely. These instants take my breath away because I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose these sweet faces.

When I was younger, I thought I was content. There were countless times I thought that I was truly happy, moments that were fleeting, fun times with friends. Now I wake up every morning, knowing that I have these two lovely souls to spend the day with. I think that makes me happier than any of those other times ever did.