Sisters.
What a glorious thing to have in life! Sisters are the best friend you could ever have, they are bound to you, through blood. They are there for you, no matter what.
In our life we are given siblings, to help us, to be there for us. But there is no bond stronger than that of sisters.
These are some happy girls, Gwen is starting to really smile and seems happy. She is a very serious baby most of the time. She looks at the world with a concentrated stare, trying to figure it all out.
Rhayn, well I don't remember how she was at this age. That makes me sad. I didn't write down all of the little things. Now I wish I had. I wish I had a blog then, I wish I had written about her infancy and how I felt. It would be awesome to look back now. I wonder if Rhayn will think I loved Gwen more, because I wrote so much when she was tiny. I know that sometimes I think my mom must have loved dacheese most because she kept a detailed journal of her first few months. But I know that isn't true now. Now I know that it only meant that by the time dacheese came around she really appreciated that time, and wanted to be able to remember it.
The other day, my mom and I went to the grocery store. She asked me if I wanted to leave Gwen with Stacey. Now, I love Stacey and know she would just hold Gwen and it would be all grand. BUT I am NOT ready to be parted with my little bug, not for even an hour (except while taking a soaky bath at home and Gwen is downstairs with daddy, but he needs a little baby time, too.) My mom told me its because I've been through this and know how quickly they grow and you only get this tiny one for a short while. She is right. I want to enjoy every moment of this time, every coo and gurgle, every feeding, every diaper change. I am selfish, and I don't want to share my baby at all. SO THERE... I might let you hold her for a minute, but I want her back quickly! She is mine.
6 comments:
Good post- I can relate to all of it. Love my sisters- yay!! I did keep a journal but I'm a little backwards. Wyatt has a great journal age pregnant to 8 years. Ty has thoughts from pregnancy off and on to 8 years. Kynzie has more like recaps of the whole year from pregnancy around 4 and Kasey has one sad page when I was pregnant with her. I think its a time issue. I love them all, but my time is limited now.
And finally, Kasey was never babysat even for an hour until she was over 1. I think of it as a blessing to have them that small, and would always use nursing as my excuse to never leave her. I treasured that year so much.
when slade was just a month old I went to visit my family in NM and I was also visiting friends - trying to "be cool" even with a baby in tow. I went outside with my friend so she could smoke a cigarette and left Slade asleep in his car seat with a girl I didn't know and when we came back inside she was holding him and I was so furious - because he was still sleeping and she had no right to get him out w/out my permission. It was my first moment when I realized that being a mamma was first priority and I wasn't about to try to pawn him off on people if I didn't need to. As he got older he would never go with other people - even his mema and papa - say there were driving to a place and we would follow behind them - he refused to go in their truck. At first it was a little hard to swallow...our oddball kid that didn't relish the chance to ride in papa's truck with them, but after awhile it was validating to know that we created an environment where he felt safe and didn't care to please anyone. That was another moment of "AAh Aah!" He wasn't a brat about it he just didn't want to do anything like that even if all his cousins were doing it. It was our agenda that he ride with them and be a part of the cousin brigade. To this day both the boys don't care about being "pleasers" If they don't want to hang out at a friends house then they don't. I'm pretty proud of their moxie. I was the type of kid that did it anyway. So, yeah enjoy them and leave them if you have to but for the most part listen to their cues!
Sisters - I've been blessed with 3 great SIL's and many girlfriends that doulbe as sisters!
Can't imagine life without sisters. Brothers are good, but there are so many things we can't share with them. It's very good watching you girls become such great friends.
I didn't keep a daily journal with you because I didn't have one. You do have a baby book with the important firsts, but oh those little day to day things that we never thought about recording. You laying in the crib, chewing on your feet. You loved to do that. Of course you always walked around wrapped in your blanket and on your second Christmas you would put it over your head and tell us that you were being Mary. If we were being too loud you would tell us to Twe Twiet. So many little thougts, but so much lost. Guess we can't go back, but we can always do better as we go forward. Love you leaner.
I had to leave Rhayn a few times, but never thought of it as bad. I didn't even think of it, until that day with my mom. I felt like "huh? leave her? there is NO WAY!"
Will asked me what we are doing for my b-day (you can read about what we did last year... it wasn't pretty) and I thought well we could go to a movie, but I wouldn't leave Gwen, I THINK I could take her to a movie... But I want to see Harry Potter (is that too long?) Its worth a try, huh? We need a babysitter for Rhayn, though... she might sit through it, but then again... Peter Potter (or as she calls him now Hehdy Potter) is scary sometimes.
Mom, yes, I know... its not because you love me less. I know things were different then, and if you had had a journal- you would have written in it regularly. I really wish you had had one. (Gwen has a few- this blog, a monthly one with stickers, and a composition book that I used to write her detailed birth story along with a few other things, I want to fill the whole journal before her first birthday. Its my goal!)
i really do not want to leave madder either but i do for scott because he needs brie time! When I getback madder is crying cause she wants me and what ONLY i can give her. i bet that just like you i will not want to leave my next baby at ALL!!!
Well dacheese, sometimes you have to do things, just to make that other happy. I am sure Madder will be perfectly fine in the long run. I won't say its good for her, though!
(She needs the mama!)
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