20051005

In Love

I am really lucky I think. I was reading Tending Violet this morning and so far I have had none of those problems. My bleeding has slowed to minimal, if any most of the day. My sweet baby doesn't cry hardly ever and so far (knock on wood) I have yet to leak milk.
The spurting jets of poop, well I really do sympathize there. She does poop so much! How does that much poop come out of one tiny little person? I guess its a comfort because it does let me know she is eating enough.

This morning as I was feeding her; sitting in the recliner, boppy around my waist, looking down at her; I finally got that overwhelming feeling of love. Ok, so I have had her nearly a week. Honestly I haven't really had time to fall into total love with her. It seemed odd to me, because I know lots of people fall in love with their infants immediately. I did love her, I was infatuated with her, but I wasn't totally and inescapably in love with her. I am now. Her chubby little cheeks, that double chin. Her little whimpering grunting noises. Everything. I am so in love!

Maybe that was what was causing my bout with the "blues." I am sure it won't go away completely, maybe now it will be more tolerable. I was worried last night about it. I also think Will able to help me quite a bit, can I say I am more in love with him now, too? He really rescued me from the depths of despair last night. All it took was his arm around me, and a few kisses. But that said more to me than any words he could have said. Great, now I am crying because of happiness, instead of sadness. Its still crying. I swear you never realize how hard those emotions will hit AFTER the baby is born. Its like the first month of pregnancy times ten. BAM, the emotional rollercoaster is in full motion!

2 comments:

TLC said...

Enjoy every minute of it!! Makes me want to grab Clint by the shirt and drag him upstairs to make another! Crispin is keeping me in love w/ those big brown eyes of his and his constant signing of "please." Keep resting to keep your blood flow low and don't do too much just because you feel like you can! I know that feeling! I'm so happy to hear things are going spectacular!!!

leaner said...

I am trying to! Its so much easier to enjoy it when you have to sit back and relax with your baby- bonding with them while your nurse. Its such an amazing feeling.
I am so glad that Gwendolyn is an easy nurser. I have had no struggles at all, i really deserved that!

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